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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder about the fetishisation of cleaning?

277 replies

Skelligsfeathers · 17/03/2022 22:36

Cleaning and housework used to be just that. A necessary evil which most people did but didn't enjoy.
Now however, it seems to be a hobby almost for some people and the standards expected of people's homes seem to be insanely high.
Endless videos on social media of people pouring multiple chemicals into already pristine sinks. Grown adults getting excited about cleaning cloths and different fragrances of disinfectant.
TV shows where people who are obviously ill with OCD are paraded as being somehow morally superior to others because they spend hours every day cleaning already clean houses....

I just don't get it.
Is it all just another way of making money?
Or is it saying something deeper about our society?

OP posts:
granny24 · 18/03/2022 17:20

@PiperPosey

What is this cleaning word you speak of? Grin
Love it
Daleksatemyshed · 18/03/2022 17:52

Cleaning is only really fun when something is properly dirty and you can see a real difference. I used to love watching Kim and Aggie cleaning up the dreadful homes of people who didn't know a duster from a dustbin.I spent weeks cleaning a relative's home whilst they were in hospital, the place was SO mucky and I really quite enjoyed myself.

fairylightsandwaxmelts · 18/03/2022 17:57

@MurderAtTheBeautyPageant

In her OP she talks about cleaning videos on social media. That's the point of her thread.
Yes, but the thread has moved on a bit in three pages since her OP.
MurderAtTheBeautyPageant · 18/03/2022 18:02

So why did you claim that the OP 'started a thread laughing at people for enjoying cleaning, or enjoying the end result anyway.'?

She clearly started a thread specific to cleaning videos on social media.

sophienelisse · 18/03/2022 18:05

I don't particularly enjoy it but I do listen to music I like or audiobooks whilst I'm doing it.

I absolutely love it when I've got the house to myself and I can clean and it stays like that for a bit!

I like the feeling of when you get out the bath or shower and you have fresh pyjamas on and can then relax with everything sparkly clean. Even better when the beds just been changed that day.

fairylightsandwaxmelts · 18/03/2022 18:11

So why did you claim that the OP 'started a thread laughing at people for enjoying cleaning, or enjoying the end result anyway.'?

That's not what I said at all - you're mistaking me for @twominutesmore

MurderAtTheBeautyPageant · 18/03/2022 18:12

Apologies

stimpyyouidiot · 18/03/2022 18:18

I absolutely hate cleaning and tidying. Hate it. I still do it but I'm definitely not a show home person. H likes to do more than me of which I'm glad. I'm just so tired (pregnant) and I haven't the energy to do it all to the standard I'm 'supposed' to have it.

stimpyyouidiot · 18/03/2022 18:19

However, my mum was a sahm. Most of her friends were too. My house would be clean if I weren't at work then school run then dinner then bath and bed!

hiredandsqueak · 18/03/2022 18:30

My dm and dgm were cleaning fanatics. I'm one of six dc but nobody would have known any children lived in our home. Dm deep cleaned a room or two every day even though they would have been deep cleaned only a week previously.
My house is clean and tidy although dm and dgm would call me a slattern as I don't empty cupboards weekly, or wash down doors and skirting boards as part of the daily routine.
I do enjoy cleaning, I find it stress relieving and I love being able to sit in a clean and comfortable home but I have other things I like to do so wouldn't want to clean more than I need to to keep the place looking clean and fresh.
Two of my sisters and a brother are cleaning fanatics too I think it's down to anxiety and a need for control that drives them much like it was for dm and dgm.

Original poster
Skelligsfeathers · 18/03/2022 18:36

@stimpyyouidiot

I absolutely hate cleaning and tidying. Hate it. I still do it but I'm definitely not a show home person. H likes to do more than me of which I'm glad. I'm just so tired (pregnant) and I haven't the energy to do it all to the standard I'm 'supposed' to have it.
But what standard is that? Where did that standard come from? Is your home hygienic? If so, surely that is enough?
OP posts:
Original poster
Skelligsfeathers · 18/03/2022 18:38

@twominutesmore i very definitely did NOT start a thread laughing at people for cleaning their house.

OP posts:
SuperSocks · 18/03/2022 18:50

@OpheliaThrupps

This has been going on for decades. Working-class northern matriarchs of 100 years ago were famous for the pride they took in keeping their homes clean. I'm not saying that it's not crazy. But it's not new.
I remember in the book of Larkrise to Candleford Laura's mum showing her how to clean a grate so it doesn't just look 'done' but 'like new'.
Myee · 18/03/2022 18:57

Because it is expected that WOMEN for the most part do it and are judged by how clean things are - I just will not conform.

I do the bare minimum necessary to have a habitable house and leave the rest of the deep cleaning and all that stuff to the man of the house. I sip cocktails and flick through magazines while he does his thing in a pink frilly apron.

SoItWas · 18/03/2022 19:15

"I spent weeks cleaning a relative's home whilst they were in hospital, the place was SO mucky and I really quite enjoyed myself."

I think you could be my mum? Grin

implantreplace · 18/03/2022 19:21

@Myee

Because it is expected that WOMEN for the most part do it and are judged by how clean things are - I just will not conform.

I do the bare minimum necessary to have a habitable house and leave the rest of the deep cleaning and all that stuff to the man of the house. I sip cocktails and flick through magazines while he does his thing in a pink frilly apron.

Single parent

No man to watch over me
No man to judge me
No one to judge me in fact

I do it because I want to do it

(Even even when I lived with my ex, who never judged me and shared equally housework, in fact more uptight!)

Violinist64 · 18/03/2022 19:32

@NurseBernard

Interesting, isn’t it?

Want to be a social media influencer, but don’t actually have any talents / skills / natural flair? Clean your house. Call yourself Mrs His-surname, and you’ve rounded out the good little wifey role nicely.

Because it’s always, always women. Isn’t it? Men aren’t cleaning influencers, because cleaning, for most people is just mundane, necessary shitwork.

I don’t like the pressure it puts on women, either.

What about the two men on DIY SOS? In my view, there is no need to have a show home but cleanliness and hygiene are important and it is surely more comfortable to have a tidy home. I hold my hands up, though, because I have a cleaner every week. She makes a huge difference to my life as l work from home as a private music teacher and have many pupils.
sHREDDIES19 · 18/03/2022 19:46

I like a tidy and clean house but it not always possible as life, work, kids happen. What I tend to do now is have short blasts where I’ll go on a mission for 5 or 10 mins but other than that it’s the bare minimum to keep on top of things. One thing I’m good at which is cleaning as such more clearing so when I get post I deal with it immediately rather than hoarding useless bits of paper and junk.

implantreplace · 18/03/2022 20:05

@MrsBerthaRochester

I loathe cleaning/housework with a passion. Do the very least I can get away with. Its shitty wifework. Down with the Patriarchy.
“Short wife work”…. Says the Sahm for 20 years and now children are all grown up doesn’t work.

I was a sahm for 6 years. I loved it. No judgement.
I have been a full time working parent and now part time. No judgement.

I like to clean and do so daily and lovely having a clean and tidy home. No judgement of those… that don’t

Perhaps you could do the same rather than consigning those that do as somehow bowing to the patriarchy (what’s the betting you don’t have that view of SAHMs given fact you were for entire decades long marriage!)

@MrsBerthaRochester

implantreplace · 18/03/2022 20:06

shitty not shorty!

Cocogreen · 18/03/2022 22:09

If social media didn't exist we wouldn't even notice it.
I'm in my 50s. When I was growing there'd be the super clean and tidy houses where the woman of the house never seemed to sit down and was always wiping something down and going off at the kids for leaving a glass in the sink. Then there were the normal houses which which were tidy and lived in but not a health hazard.
IG is a place to spruik perfect show off aspirational houses and lifestyles and to sell things.
Excessive cleaning was always a thing for sons people and if it makes them happy good for them. Most people don't live like that - unless you've got people coming over.

Goatinthegarden · 19/03/2022 06:31

[quote Sailorsusan]@Piglet89 my DM also studied for a masters and our house was very 'lived in' regards toys etc. I also remember that it didn't matter too much if I spilled Ribena on the carpet because it was a dated 70s red swirly one Smile

DM enjoyed ironing far more than cleaning but I can't remember the last time I ironed anything... As you say, life is too short Grin[/quote]
There are a few posts in this thread that suggest some people don’t clean because they have ‘more important’ things to do. I find that a bit odd. You wouldn’t skip brushing your teeth just because you were busy with academia.

My parents were well educated, had four children, four dogs and both worked full time. My dad mopped and hoovered all the floors at 5am every day. I was taught that keeping a clean environment was part of looking after the well-being of everyone in your household. Cleaning is just something non-negotiable that DH and I have to fit in to our routine.

I have a few friends who live in untidy houses and claim scornfully that they have more important things to do than clean. In reality, they just can’t be bothered.

Original poster
Skelligsfeathers · 19/03/2022 07:53

And that is their choice?
You are not better than them because you make different choices.

OP posts:
PenguinPup · 19/03/2022 08:15

@homeedregret I would recommend a lady called But First Coffee on YouTube. She has some great little tips and ideas x

abc4321 · 19/03/2022 08:19

Surely there's a difference between living in a clean and tidy house and a more obsessive/extreme level of cleaning?

My house is kept clean and tidy every day (admittedly my cleaner can take a lot of the credit for that). I just don't need everything to look perfect/brand new. It's a house that's lived in, not a show home.

I don't spray my bed with chemicals so it smells nice (like Mrs Hinch), but I do open the windows to air the rooms. I'm afraid I can't get excited (like some of the keen cleaners) that p&G has released a new smell for product Y or whatever. I'm not a big fan of using lots of chemicals to keep my house clean, not least because it's not brilliant for the environment or for our health.