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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be disappointed with the school re trip

311 replies

pisspants · 17/03/2022 08:14

I understand schools and teachers are busy and that it is great they have tried to organise a trip. I am upset on behalf of my dc though. There's an upcoming trip, details of which went out in one email over a month ago, with no further mentions or reminders about it. This week a follow up email went out regarding more details about what to wear for the trip etc which was the first I knew of the trip. I checked the online payment system and was no sign of it on there so called the school and they say the deadline has passed as the bus needed to know numbers etc a while back so my dc will have to miss the trip. I appreciate I missed one email which was sent in the middle of the day whilst I was working so didnt see it. It then got buried amongst all the crappy emails I get every day from everywhere I've ever bought anything from. Because of that my DC now misses the educational trip that almost the whole year is going on? I know I dropped a ball by not seeing the email but I would have expected a follow up email as a reminder of a payment deadline or something at the least?

OP posts:
ItWasAgathaAllAlong · 18/03/2022 21:44

There's a tool called 'unroll.me

This looks less than reliable, looking at reviews. Anyway it wouldn't let me install it due to 'location', even though I'm in the UK, just not on the mainland. Confused

Pinkfluff76 · 18/03/2022 22:24

Our school sends loads of info emails and reminders. We got two or three payment reminders alone. Seems horrible for you and your child. Sorry Op

PriamFarrl · 18/03/2022 22:31

If it’s a whole class trip then, as a teacher, I will send out repeat letters to those who haven’t signed and if I still have outstanding parents the day before I’ll catch them at home time with a blank form.

However, given that this trip has limited numbers I’m guessing it isn’t a whole class/year group trip.

Why hasn’t your DC been going on about it? Do they not want to go?

Calandor · 18/03/2022 23:14

Set up a separate email just for school and then check it regularly.

Ikeptgoing · 19/03/2022 05:01

I'm a busy single parent, work long hours in a demanding job , and I can't always keep up with the crazy level of additional school admin for 3 different schools and colleges for my 3 DVs that I don't have any help with ( ie their Dad disappeared years ago)

If I miss a trip it's my fault.

OP just take the hit and crack on, if DS can go belatedly , then fantastic.but if not, we'll Meh, it can't have been important if they had limited places on a bus. If DS didn't tell you, and if you missed one email.

I don't think school is to blame, I think you are too busy and need to sort out your emails where you have too much spam coming in too.

Give school a separate email address that goes straight to your phone. Join fb school groups as safety reminders but don't try in them and ... find a way like all the rest of us single parents do!

No one will magically fix this for you and sometimes meh you'll miss something.... and realise you can't do everything or it's your fault. You have to live with that really or get better at school admin.

Ikeptgoing · 19/03/2022 05:02

Lolz DCs not DVs!!! ShockHmm

Pinklemonade1 · 19/03/2022 06:31

V frustrating for you .with about 50 emails coming in a day from schools I can well believe it got missed.

keeptheaspidistra · 19/03/2022 07:02

I have two personal email accounts, one for online purchases, utilities etc and the other for schools and medical stuff only. Problem sorted

h1nch · 19/03/2022 07:09

Set up a separate email address just for school

kittensinthekitchen · 19/03/2022 08:42

Has anyone suggested a separate email address for school yet? 😂😂😂

Hutchy16 · 19/03/2022 09:36

All of the ‘parents of the year’ will be voting you as being unreasonable - no change there…this site is all about the judgement they can pass.

I don’t think that it is unreasonable for you to be disappointed. Yes it is your fault you missed the deadline, but things happen, I know I’ve dropped the ball more than once and my son has turned out fine.

I think that the school should have contacted the bus company and added your son. Schools are meant to be inclusive, and how is it inclusive to leave out a child? I would at least expect them to notice who hadn’t responded by the deadline and contact the parents personally, and/or to contact the bus company. Every teacher my child has ever had would have done this for sure before they would have seen a child miss out on a trip.

So yeah…your fault, but 💯 reasonable to be disappointed that nobody has helped you put it right :) YANBU

kittensinthekitchen · 19/03/2022 09:53

@Hutchy16

There's a gap in the system there isn't there? Maybe you could approach your school and volunteer to be the one who comes in every day, to contact the parents/carers who haven't responded to requests from the school/teachers. You could call them and check what their plans are. Not during the day, of course, as they're working, you'd have to do that in the evening, or on weekends. But not during family time, obviously.
You could also organise the Lost Property boxes and reunite things with their owners.
And personally check with each pupil that they're making sure they are drinking enough water during the day, but not too much, as you don't want parents to complain that if needing to go to the toilet means they miss a couple of minutes of their playtime.
Oh yeah, at playtime, remember to check everyone has their gloves on properly, can't have them getting cold

CountryMouse22 · 19/03/2022 10:07

@JuliaSways

You need to filter your messages, block any spam and take control of your emails.

This isn't a school issue I'm afraid.

This, and unsubscribe to all the advert emails. It does help clear out the dross.
hungrypanda2008 · 19/03/2022 10:13

I sympathise as I have it from both sides. I’ve been that mum that’s not sent her child in non uniform and she’s been the only one (I cried at that one!).. but l’m a teacher who also organises a lot of trips and events, many of which are for out of the school day (ie after school or weekends, theatre trips etc). Communication is difficult in schools as a teacher you have two jobs - one as a full time teacher and one as an administration worker. You’re also dealing with lots in the day - I have on average 60+ emails a day to respond to as well as meetings and just general day to day children's needs. Then you’ve got to teach and all that goes with that. There would also have been a lot a verbal messages about the trip but unfortunately, pupils won’t always understand, remember etc to tell parents. I’m sure the teacher organising will also feel bad about it but it isn’t always as easy as just adding another one. Often you have to pay for tickets way before the event and coaches are massively expensive at the moment. So I understand your frustration but also know the other side - if you’re like me, it’s just information overload as you’re dealing with so much other stuff too. No one’s fault but it’s still crap all round

Hutchy16 · 19/03/2022 11:01

@kittensinthekitchen

Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit.

Irrespective of that, if the class has 25 children and one school trip in the year…one quick phone call to the parent who has a lot on their plate could make a huge difference. All it has to be is a 10 second voicemail just reminding them about the trip.

I do not believe there is a single teacher out there that wouldn’t think taking 5 minutes out of their day maybe once or twice a year was worth it just to make sure a child wasn’t left out.

What is with people on here??? We’re supposed to raise each other up and support, offering constructive criticism where needed…not berating, belittling, and blaming each other every time we aren’t perfect.

Nobody is the perfect mother! And if you think you are, you are wrong, and probably have your priorities twisted.

kittensinthekitchen · 19/03/2022 11:17

Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit.

@Hutchy16

Why, thank you 😊

The point is, it's not just one phone call once or twice a year. Teachers - and indeed school support and admin staff - are increasingly given more and more duties, put under more and more pressure, and given more and more expectations.

For a teacher to chase up a pupil who hadn't consented to a school trip, it would involve having to double check (possibly via the school office as individual teachers may not have direct access to the online record for this) for consent. Then double check the parent/carer hadn't paid for the trip (again, likely to be involving admin staff, taking them away from their other duties). They'd have to take said pupil aside and privately ask them if they were wanting to go, check there isn't a reason for them being unable to go - financial (check and see if this is a pattern, and if the family could need more support), parent is in hospital and hasn't got round to it (again, action to be taken there to make sure support is in place) maybe the child is being bullied by someone in another class and doesn't want to go (gotta deal with that now). Once it's been established they've just missed the deadline, it's on to trying to contact the parent/carer. Back along to the school office to wait for someone to be free to look up contact details for you. If you're lucky, parent will answer, it'll be sorted and they'll go make payment right now. Maybe they'll have a voicemail so you can leave a message. You might then get a notification via the office parent/carer has been in touch and its sorted. You might hear nothing, so need to check again the next day and follow up with another call. If no voicemail, you need to try catch them again later. Maybe parent will consent on phone, but forget to sign the form or tick the box online. Maybe they'll forget to pay, so you need to contact them again. While you're on the phone, they ask if you can have a look for Johnny's lunchbox, or oh can you just let the office know Sarah won't be in next Tuesday, she's got the dentist. Hopefully you'll remember that by the time you've been stopped three times on the way back to the classroom.

That's one child. There's another 4 who've not given consent yet.

This is during the time that teacher should be with your children, teaching them. If you're lucky, it'll be during their break time, or after school in their own time, planning time, the time when they've got to sort out their own children and their activities. Fingers crossed the secretary is still there at 5pm, so you can get those numbers you need!

Belladonna12 · 19/03/2022 11:41

@kittensinthekitchen they don't need to do all that. There's no need to to work out who hasn't hasn't consented and why. All that is required is to send an e mail reminder to everyone and ask those that can't afford it to contact the school fill in a form. Stop trying to make it sound more complicated than it is.

kittensinthekitchen · 19/03/2022 11:54

@Belladonna12

I was responding to a comment that said teachers should personally contact those parents who hadn't responded Confused

JassyRadlett · 19/03/2022 12:05

Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit.

It really isn't. Have you not seen Mrs Brown's Boys?

You missed the second part of the Wilde quote, by the way. The full thing is 'sarcasm is the lowest form of wit, but the highest form of intelligence.' And given it was Wilde, I wouldn't be entirely sure he meant it to be taken seriously.

Hutchy16 · 19/03/2022 12:12

@kittensinthekitchen

You’re being ridiculous…any other comments I won’t bother justifying with a response. Enjoy your weekend

Hutchy16 · 19/03/2022 12:12

@JassyRadlett

You missed the point of my comment 😂

JassyRadlett · 19/03/2022 12:15

[quote Hutchy16]@JassyRadlett

You missed the point of my comment 😂[/quote]
I really didn't. But then I wasn't commenting on the rest of your post, just the hackneyed partial quote. 😁

PriamFarrl · 19/03/2022 12:25

I think that the school should have contacted the bus company and added your son.

How are they going to do that? Stick him on the roof?

Belladonna12 · 19/03/2022 13:14

[quote kittensinthekitchen]@Belladonna12

I was responding to a comment that said teachers should personally contact those parents who hadn't responded Confused[/quote]
Ah. yes it is ridiculous to expect that.

implantreplace · 19/03/2022 14:17

This thread very clearly distinguishes two types of people

Those that own their mistakes
Those that flail around looking for others to blame