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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think DP should not be going out after testing positive?

104 replies

Imaysnapandfart · 15/03/2022 20:25

DP tested positive yesterday and today went out to the shops - several, non-urgent - without a mask and we just had a huge argument about it. AIBU to think I’m in the right here? He maintains that because it’s not a LEGAL requirement (although government guidelines are to self isolate) that he did nothing wrong.

OP posts:
Lovemylittlebear · 15/03/2022 22:42

Really very selfish :(

SmudgeRolls · 15/03/2022 22:42

Im CEV, had 4 jabs

I understand why people need to go to work if they are t going to get paid, but i would expect them to tell people, keep a distance and wear a mask

People that know they are positive and are out and about with no mask and they dont have to be, is very selfish, imo

MyBottomDecides · 15/03/2022 22:43

I get the moral argument but in practical terms, it's a drop in the ocean. Against the backdrop of 1 in 25 having covid infection (England, OP may be elsewhere) any individual staying on or going out won't change the overall infection risk which is sky high. Testing is going and guidelines are completely ineffective against the huge mass of asymptomatic and presymtomatic infected people. At this stage, not going out is like cutting all your garden flowers mid-spring to help avoid hay-fever - a pointless gesture against the background.

WildImaginings · 15/03/2022 22:44

He's a dick and he should have worn a mask.

WildImaginings · 15/03/2022 22:46

Just read that it wasn't even an urgent shop. Totally irresponsible.

HeckyPeck · 15/03/2022 22:49

@kateg27

Everytime you go out with an illness, flu, a cold, covid, sickness etc. You are potentially putting somebody vulnerable at risk. No different. Life cannot stop forever. I say this as a sibling of somebody CEV
I wouldn't do non essential shipping with flu, Covid, a sickness bug. If I had to do essential shopping I'd wear a mask.

But there have always been selfish arseholes who went into work/sent their kids to school with noro so I don't suppose that will ever change.

Lifeispassingby · 15/03/2022 22:55

There have always been selfish people who don’t care what illness they have and whether they pass it on or not and those who ignore advice to stay at home whilst contagious from whatever it is they have. Those selfish people continue the same with COVID, nothing new there then

Thistooshallpsss · 15/03/2022 23:01

Your husband is irresponsible and selfish

anotherbloodyyearofcovid · 15/03/2022 23:05

Your partner is a selfish arse to go out in public knowing he has a highly infectious disease.

Ivyonafence · 15/03/2022 23:06

Your husband is irresponsible and selfish.

I can't believe the dickish behaviour some people have adopted in the name of 'getting on with it'.

Hollywolly1 · 15/03/2022 23:07

Its like he just went out for the sake of it and to add insult to injury he wore no mask 😑,I would say that's very unkind

uncomfortablydumb53 · 15/03/2022 23:07

May legally be ok now, but morally very wrong

Ivyonafence · 15/03/2022 23:08

@Blimpop

We have to move on, most shouldve had jabs, if not- why not? I wouldn't go out if I knew, but if I had a cold I'd also try to keep my germs to myself. Dunno.
Because they might be too young to be vaccinated?

Because the jabs aren't 100% effective?

Because even vaccinated people are dying of it?

Because no one wants to be sick if it can be avoided?

SorenLorensonsInvisibleFriend · 15/03/2022 23:17

Yeah, it was a crappy thing for him to do. You don't know who Covid will kill - it's still ending more than a hundred lives a day - so the least we can do it be careful if we know we've got it.

And, echoing PP, most people wouldn't go out in public with norovirus or chicken pox. Covid is very similar - a nasty, powerful infection which takes some recovering from if you're symptomatic, even without complications.

RewildingAmbridge · 15/03/2022 23:17

I've got Covid at the moment, work don't want me in, I feel pretty rubbish anyway to be honest and I've managed to get a grocery delivery this week, so we're not going anywhere.
I think walking your dog early or late and avoiding others is probably fine at this point, going shopping for non essentials without a mask, Boris approved but morally questionable.

RewildingAmbridge · 15/03/2022 23:20

Also I've had two jabs and a booster, still caught Covid and was pretty ill for the first few days , so vaccination isn't really an excuse

vickyc90 · 15/03/2022 23:22

I think it's a very personal choice now and no one has the right to say either side is right or wrong. As a scientist I can't shake the feeling that we know lack of exposure is a risk factor for childhood ALL. If we all become afraid of going out with mild viruses, is this going to have a negative effect on our immune system.

It's also only two weeks until people won't be testing for it so won't know if they have a cold or COVID

Ladybyrd · 15/03/2022 23:26

It's legal but it's immoral.

He sounds like an arrogant shit.

BOOTS52 · 15/03/2022 23:27

He is very selfish and should have stayed home or at least wear a mask. He could give it to someone who could get it and will get very sick. Is he always so insensitive to others and why is he arguing with you. Does he always have to be right. Sorry but he is an idiot. Different if he had no option but to go to the pharmacy or something.

StealthToddler · 15/03/2022 23:27

I'm on chemo currently. I have young children and am desperate to at least try to give them a normal life and not hide away. I'd like to be able to go into a shop with them and feel that the person near me has not gone out consciously knowing that they have Covid. Yes I wear a mask as I have to protect myself. I'm totally immunosuppressed every cycle and have to take bone aching injections to try to not be immuno suppressed. Am I supposed to not have any life at all to try to stay alive?

I think people just don't understand that for people going through life saving treatment, a Covid infection means not being given access to the hospital and delays to treatment.

If my child gets Covid, then even if I am negative I am not allowed access to the hospital for 10 days for my treatment.
And every single day I have to choose to allow my children to do all the things that all the other kids do as I want them to have a normal life, but knowing that people consciously choose to put other people at risk makes this so scary for me in terms of the consequences for my potential outcome.

I try to give the benefit of the doubt that people who choose to behave like this are the ones who are lucky enough to have a life not yet touched by serious illness and so just plain are incapable of understanding the consequences of their actions.

Waffled on. Chemo brain. And currently in enforced isolation ahead of chemo later this week.

pawpaws2022 · 16/03/2022 00:35

@StealthToddler GCSF? You have my sympathy if it is. I'm neutropenic and on them for life and the side effects Sad

EskSmith · 16/03/2022 01:04

Stealth Flowers
What an eloquent explanation thank you, I hope it will make a few people think x

Lemonlady22 · 16/03/2022 01:07

Maybe in the next few days he will become seriously ill (he may be CEV and not know it) stupid man!

StealthToddler · 16/03/2022 07:18

@pawpaws2022 yes it's the GCSF. 7 every 2 weeks. They exhaust me as much as the chemo and give me serious pain. Am on cycle 25 this week. Got at least another8 rounds this year. You have my sympathy on this one too!!!

Bananarama101 · 16/03/2022 07:37

There was an article about Wilko telling their employees to come in if tested positive still. It was only after that being in the news and pressure from that that they said 'ooops okay, made a mistake there'. If a large national retailer is doing that, then I'm sure there are many other businesses doing the same.