My MIL lives in NZ which for me is a good thing as she is openly hostile and critical towards me. Last time she came over she invited several family members to our home and I came home from work to a very drunken party going on with a couple of people staying over. None of this agreed by my dh and I. She takes over my kitchen as she says my food makes her feel ill. I am a good cook.
Our first baby is almost a year old and she hasnt asked much to dh about her. I try not to talk to her and she doesnt ask to talk to me. Her dad died of Covid during the first lockdown and obviously she (and we) couldnt attend the funeral but she is coming over to scatter the ashes.
Dh says she will also stay here.
Since dd was born I've had anxiety and struggle to leave the house on my own. I'm on the waiting list for an OT to help with this.
Dh sees no problem at all about her coming. I am already having anxiety dreams about it. She won't have enough money to stay in an hotel as she and her second husband live in a shack in the middle of nowhere and he works as and when he can.
She has never really shown much interest in dh even as a child so he's very grateful for any interaction with her and obviously loves her very much. I would never interfere with that and try not to be too critical of her to him but I dislike her and hate what she put him through when he was younger.
Her not coming is not an option.
I'm going to have to suck it up aren't I? I'm dreading it.