AIBU to be upset with partner ?

[Jojo2347]

I split up with my husband 5 years ago and have been with present partner for 4 years. We don’t live together. Present partner is a carpenter and I asked him if he would put a curtain pole up with me - I’m not good with drills etc - 6 months later still not done - when I challenged him today he said why didn’t I ask my child’s father to do it ? Wtf? I wouldn’t and if I did he would say why don’t I get new partner to do it - and here I am stuck in the middle of two egos - with pole still unfitted - I need it done before evenings and mornings get much lighter - I just feel really let down 😔

Help needed here as I think I’m going bonkers !

Be better with drills and choosing men?
Using power tools isn't difficult..

You need your own tools!

Do it yourself or get a handyperson in?

Just watch YouTube videos and learn how to put it up yourself? It's really not difficult or a "man's job".

Here you go:

Yeah do it yourself

And tell him to fuck off

Next time he wants a blow job tell him to ask an ex

He's being a dick about it but also woman up and do it yourself, ditch the shit man while you're at it.

It’s not unreasonable to expect your partner to help you with some DIY - especially as he’s a handy type. Does he have an issue with your ex in general? Is the curtain thing a passive aggressive dig about him not feeling at home in your house while your ex does? Seems a bit petty that he’s making a point about it.

Ideally it’s a two person job anyway, so ask him if he can help you do it rather than ask him to do it. That way if he says no you’ll know exactly where you stand with him.

Get list together and hire an odd job man for an hour. Partner gets no favours as he's so unwilling to help

Give it ago yourself, practice makes perfect and all that. What would you do if you didnt have a partner?

You are a woman and a mum living alone, learn to do things for yourself. Relying on a man will get you nowhere. He was a dick but you ‘challenging’ him on why he’s not done you a a favour yet isn’t any better.

Get it started and ask him to help you hold the pole? You can't seriously have spent months waiting for someone to sort out a curtain pole for you?

That's really fucking rude, especially given his trade.

Brilliant

I’m useless with a drill, I would just pay a handy man, he obviously doesn’t want to do it the fact you’ve waited 6m is clear, the ex comment was weird.

It's all well and good people telling you to do it yourself, but it's not really the point is it? No OP, you're not being unreasonable to expect your partner who is also a carpenter to give you a hand putting a curtain pole up! I can't imagine my boyfriend leaving me to struggle to do something myself that he can do no bother. It's unkind. If he wasn't good with that sort of thing then fair enough. Your partner should want to help you.

Not been so bad over winter so I haven’t pushed for it x bit it’s covering two windows so about 8ft long so difficult for one person so I have offered to assist holding one end -passing screws etc - make a brew ! But just getting nowhere and him saying that has just made my blood boil ! And yes I’m going to sign up to a power tools class - I’m not averse to doing things myself - I’ve painted the house, chipped off plaster, repointed all the garden paving stones - just this us a two person job and I’m shit with a drill 😩

I agree, do it yourself, YouTube it, get a pal or a family member round for moral support 😊 and to hold the pole while you measure, level and mark the holes.
If you mess it up you can refill the holes with polyfiller.
Seriously, it's not hard, I do all my DIY, you may surprise yourself.
Dump the bloke, if he won't do a simple job like that for you he's not a keeper, back into the penis pool he goes!

You are a woman and a mum living alone, learn to do things for yourself. Relying on a man will get you nowhere

I wholeheartedly agree with this but in this case the odd job is irrelevant. His reaction shows he is uncaring and not all in. When I was seeing my now DH he would often do odd jobs, would offer to do them. (I have a child from previous relationship) on the other side I would help him with things I was better at.

Yes you’ve totally got the point - thank you 👏🙂

He sounds very mean spirited, yuk.

Wow, he’s not a keeper 🤣