To think that babies with pierced ears is not a good idea?

[Blackbootswithredribbons]

I wouldn't trust a baby to not fiddle with their earrings, cleaning might be a difficult etc. And then there's the whole business of an infant not being able to say whether or not they want them done, the pain and having to hold a squirmy baby still while it's done.
I also cannot fathom a single reason to pierce a baby tbh, when they're old enough to fully weigh the risks and benefits, that's old enough.
What are your thoughts on this?

Hi my name is Leanne/Jade/Chantelle/Mercedes, and I’ve come to Claire’s to get my child Riley/Tyler/Mason/master or miss hyphenated’s name, ears pierced please!

@thebellsesmereldathebells

I think there needs to come a point when "it's part of my culture" doesn't cut it. There are many traditional cultural practices which can't happen in the UK because they are in conflict with our standards for human rights and child welfare.

Having holes made in your baby should surely fall into this category. I STILL haven't seen anybody actually try to engage with the question of how it is acceptable to perform a procedure on someone who is too young to consent to it, when there are NO behefits to that person and there are both risks and pain involved in performing it.

This. With bells on.

So much is excused because 'culture'. Ear piercing is pretty low on the list but using culture to justify an act that causes pain is imo wrong.

@Tsuni

What popcorn have you all brought? Any salted popcorn?

White Cheddar. Didn't know there was another colour, it's American though. Very bad for me. Full of salt and flavour!

Piercing baby girls’ ears was an every-day and normal custom for the Mexican and Latin American families where I live in Central California.
While my mum made me wait until I was 13, I certainly wouldn’t disparage an entire society for doing something they felt was normal and customary.
There’s always two sides to a coin. Besides, it’s not life and death, and those little pierced-eared-girls grew up into lovely women.

@MarthaFokker
I agree. It’s normalised abuse and bodily harm.
I will not take my 7 yo daughter for someone to do a hole in her body with absolutely no reason but for her to look “pretty”. She does want earrings but after I’ve explained it’s the actual hole she wants done and it could be painful, she said no. We use stickers or clip on sometimes for fun and it satisfies the “need”. When she is a teenager, she may as well decide to go herself.

Minimum age aside, those staple-gun type instruments that are far-too-commonly used to pierce ears should be outlawed - for everyone. They're marketed on the basis that only the stud touches the ear but this doesn't account for cross-contamination. They're made of plastic so can't be autoclaved. Add to that the ramming of a blunt instrument through flesh, not least the wide plates on the back for all manner of gunk to collect behind, and you have a recipe for infection or keloids.

It's a gruesome practice: piercing is very much best left to the professionals. And I doubt any professional would even go near a baby.

Why is it part of some cultures? When did it become part of some cultures? Who decided it would be girls pierced and not boys? There must be something documented on this somewhere.

Also the whole consent argument isn't a strong one in my books. Surely as a parent you are entrusted to make the right decision for your kids ? Of course kids cant give consent to have their ears pierced but neither do they for a long list of other things like getting vaccinated. Surely not every vaccinated child grows up to be pro vaccine ? Why make such decisions for them?

Do you not see even a slight difference in the cost-benefit equation? Is being able to potentially prevent your child from dying really no different in importance from making her look 'pretty' (in some people's opinion)? "My child died from measles" vs "Somebody asked if my baby was a boy or a girl" ??

While my mum made me wait until I was 13, I certainly wouldn’t disparage an entire society for doing something they felt was normal and customary.

Same with FGM and foot-binding?

I'd like to see some research on the actual trauma or otherwise detrimental long term impact caused on the kids impacted by this.
Because really i think that research would be much less interesting than the studies on the risks of CIO, or formula feeding or other parenting choices. Of course there can be complications from piercing but it's not really that statistically significant compared to other risks associated with other parenting choices.
And if we did accept that the 'victims' of such barbaric practices where ultimately not bothered and in many cases quite happy with it then what exactly are people up in arms about?
Focus your energy on something that actually matters....there are plenty of other things going on in the world.

It's vain and cruel and for the parents. The poor baby. Would you pierce your mates ears when they're sleeping? No. Babies can't consent, therefore it's wrong.

I'm with you, op

@oblada

It's been done to death but hey ho. Ultimately it doesn't really matter what you think. You decide for your kids and I decide for mine.

We all make various decisions for our kids and ear piercing is far from being one the riskier / more problematic decision a parent can make. The pain element is a red herring. Done properly it's quickly done. A baby is likely to suffer more harm from say being left to cry to sleep for instance. Or being away from his mum/dad when mum/dad goes back to work (there are studies suggesting children should stay with their primary care giver until they're 3). Or being formula fed (there are inherent risks with that though formula is absolutely fantastic when needed and should be used. But as a choice it can be argued that it is not the choice that benefits baby who may have stomach pains, be possibly sick more often etc). Or overusing some of the toys initially meant for physical development (walker, bumbo seat etc). Or being put in front of a screen too early/too long.

Ultimately in the grand scheme of things it is pretty small and insignificant.

I did my girls' when they were 18months. It was done properly (needle) and there is a cultural aspect to it for us. I never regretted it and neither did they. Easier to do it early and have it heal fully and completely before school.

Ultimately I am sure my kids will find a lot of things to criticise in my parenting when the time comes but I am also confident that this will not be one of the issues raised.

Crikey. Are you trying to out-goad the OP?

The reason Claire’s do both ears at once for babies is because they are not allowed to continue once the child cries. Well of course the baby is going to cry! So they do both at once because parents get angry when they refuse to do the second one.

@Olleh6754

Hi my name is Leanne/Jade/Chantelle/Mercedes, and I’ve come to Claire’s to get my child Riley/Tyler/Mason/master or miss hyphenated’s name, ears pierced please!

ugh.

was this supposed to be witty?

@AnxiousHeffalump

The reason Claire’s do both ears at once for babies is because they are not allowed to continue once the child cries. Well of course the baby is going to cry! So they do both at once because parents get angry when they refuse to do the second one.

Poor babies

Tsuni - I've made some of those choices i listed as more significant in the 'negative' sense for instance I've gone back to work and I've formula fed in part my youngest. I'm comfortable with my choices and also fully comfortable that ear piercing is never going to come anywhere close to the reasons my girls will hate me (hopefully temporarily) when they are teenagers. I don't even think those other choices are particularly significant either. But they are a lot more so than ear piercing.

I come from a country where it is normal to pierce a baby's ears. Parents keep them clean. Pain is minimal. It is done safely instead of in an act of preteen rebellion. There is no need for a child to wear earrings down the line if they don't want to, but the option is there.

As far as I'm concerned, it is incredibly ignorant and rude to judge a family and call them chavvy for something that is just different than the British norm.

Does nobody worry about the baby accidentally catching the earring and splitting their earlobe (I caught my mum's earring when I was a baby and ripped through her earlobe). Or the earring falling out and the baby swallowing it?

I had my daughters done at a few months old a cultural thing . The machine got stuck on a very fine baby hair . So no I wouldn’t do it again . But on a plus she never fiddled with the earrings !

I'm pretty crunchy as a parent but I can't get worked up about this. I'd even go as far as to say I think it looks cute.

Things I think are more harmful in the grand scheme of things:
Putting kids in forward facing car seats/boosters too early
Not giving your kids home cooked meals
Not giving your baby colostrum
Cry it out
Not letting your kid cry or express emotions

Which looks very strange when I write it down and unhinged if I mentioned it to other parents. If I look down on someone, it does make me better or raise my status. I like to think everyone is trying their best

@MooseBreath

I come from a country where it is normal to pierce a baby's ears. Parents keep them clean. Pain is minimal. It is done safely instead of in an act of preteen rebellion. There is no need for a child to wear earrings down the line if they don't want to, but the option is there.

As far as I'm concerned, it is incredibly ignorant and rude to judge a family and call them chavvy for something that is just different than the British norm.

There is no need for a child to wear earrings down the line if they don't want to, but the option is there.

There is never any need for a baby or a child to wear earrings - ever!

Jesus, what is wrong with some parents that they can't see this? There is absolutely no benefit to the baby or the child whatsoever. It's all done purely for the parents benefit.

Do they think their babies don't look perfectly ok without being decorated??

@nodogz

I'm pretty crunchy as a parent but I can't get worked up about this. I'd even go as far as to say I think it looks cute.

Things I think are more harmful in the grand scheme of things:
Putting kids in forward facing car seats/boosters too early
Not giving your kids home cooked meals
Not giving your baby colostrum
Cry it out
Not letting your kid cry or express emotions

Which looks very strange when I write it down and unhinged if I mentioned it to other parents. If I look down on someone, it does make me better or raise my status. I like to think everyone is trying their best

Absolutely - agreed.

I suppose sometimes people find it easier to be enraged by insignificant stuff i suppose...

I suppose sometimes people find it easier to be enraged by insignificant stuff i suppose

That seems to be the case

I can’t stand it, I’m from a very working class background, not a middle class snob at all and I’ve always thought it looked awful and chavvy. There’s no need whatsoever to do it, there are risks even though small, I once had a patient who had her ears pierced as a baby, they got infected, the infection travelled to her heart and caused heart failure, she was dead by 21.

There’s no logical argument for it, it’s body modification on a baby for the parents vanity, should be banned imo.

@MarthaFokker There is nothing wrong with me, thank you. And for what it's worth, I haven't pierced my child's ears.

But I don't think ear piercing is abuse. Mine were done as a 7-year-old child. I am grateful that it was done properly and kept clean by a responsible adult. And no, there is no need to wear earrings. But many children want to. I wanted a piercing as a child and wore clip-ons until I had them pierced. Frankly, clip-ons hurt more than a piercing ever did.