To think a holiday with a toddler could actually be fun?

[SleeplessInSouthEast]

Yes, appreciate there are bigger things going on in the world but holiday was booked way back for us to go to Portugal so my extended family can meet my little one for the first time since she was born and it's non-refundable. She's almost 2.

The thing is, all I hear and read is how stressful going away with little ones is, from packing, to the flight, to entertaining them whilst away etc, how it's never really a holiday for mums as we have to spend our entire time planning/sorting/switched on, etc etc.

Frankly, I'm starting to dread it now! We haven't been away anywhere, not even a domestic short break for over 3 years and pre-kiddo. I just want us all to have a fun time and not come back feeling it was a waste and we should've stayed home!

AIBU to think it's actually possible to truly enjoy a holiday abroad with a young toddler?

Would welcome any tips and wisdom from MNs with positive experiences!

(One idea was to do an online click and collect shop before we set off to the supermarket near the hotel for nappies, milk, yoghurts etc)

Thank you!

@SleeplessInSouthEast

I know this will sound silly but any examples of other toddler-friendly other than going to the pool and beach? We're travelling hand luggage only and she doesn't have her own allowance so limited on things like toys to take...do you even take toys on holiday?

As you can tell, she's a first child 😅

Holidaying with my lo has always been great fun!

I would seriously consider upgrading to at least one piece of luggage though as you'll be hard pushed to pack 3 people's worth and have space for snacks, toys and sticker books, unless you intend to buy all that after security or buy via click and collect in Boots? Do you also intend to buy things like clothes out there etc and leave behind as you won't have any space for any souvenirs or presents etc given?
To me that would be a stress and way more expensive than a suitcase in the hold.

All inclusive places worked for us so it didn't matter if they were too hot or tired to eat when we had booked tables at restaurants and could eat and leave whenever suited. Constant availability of snacks and drinks is a real bonus.

I fondly remember the holiday with our then 3 and 18mo.
Unfortunately swimming was out because there'd been storms and the pool water had to be replaced and it was stone cold.

We went on excursions and years later DS1 still fondly remembers the off-road jeeps. MN would often have it that there's no point in taking u5s as they don't remember anything, but they can and the novelty of holidays often sticks in their heads. I can still remember the bunk beds and bay window of our holiday when I was 3. Even if they don't remember, it's all worthwhile stimulation and learning anyway.

It's not relaxing but it can be fun.

I find it easier to accept laundry on holiday than to fret over covering everything in one go. If laundry is easily accessible, coming back with clean clothes is great!

If family is around, be clear about who is supervising the toddler at any time.

I enjoyed holidays with toddlers, sometimes it’s the expectations of the adults that you go with that make it difficult.

The key is to fix your schedule around meals and naps. Get those right and the rest will fall into place.

Bring a small inflatable pool with you so she can sit and play in water without you having to be in the swimming pool with her.

A small pop up tent is my other holiday essential. Both of these can fold up into a suitcase.

Sticker sheets are great at that age - pull off all the negative space around the stickers and she won’t need constant help.

Never leave the house without bubbles in your pocket (you probably know that anyway). A couple of toy cars, a packet of crayons, a small jigsaw are great for waiting in restaurants (although I’d bring nibbles as well at that age). Don’t produce the same thing, or everything at once. Novelty is key.

If other family members want to see a tourist attraction you might want to do it differently. We have some lovely photos of feeding pigeons, cat spotting etc at major attractions from that age! Sometimes I’d look for a playground or park in the vicinity and meet up afterwards.

Don’t let enthusiastic relatives take over bedtime - it’s the one time you want consistency and firmness because if you get them down, you can enjoy the evening. If they’re going to get insecure or unsettled it will tend to be at bedtime and it can mess up their routine.

We need more words in English for “holiday” because after a trip with a toddler you’ll feel like you need another holiday. But it absolutely can be fun.

I lived in a holiday resort with my toddlers and we travelled to others plus travelled to the Uk and moved around there visiting friends and family too. We had a blast - best time of my life. Once not much older, dc were fluent in airport etiquette and dealt with their own security routines and Dd1 helped with dd2. This is all as a single parent. You're definitely not being unreasonable (providing you don't have a toddler who need stringent routines)

Luggage wise - I would check in. It’s not that you can’t pack light, but that x2 rucksacks, x2 hand luggage bags, plus changing bag, plus pram is a lot to carry when you have toddler. Potentially if toddler needs last minute change or only wants carrying, then one of you will have a lot of carry on and off plane. You also need hands free to juggle passports, boarding passes etc.

Ideally you take x2 rucksacks on board as hand luggage and pram to gate. One of those bags has spare whatever and will go in overhead. The other smaller rucksack can go by feet and has essentials like snacks and entertainment for flight, as otherwise toddler will have you up and down like a yo-yo.

That way you both have bag on back, then hands free to fold pram, hold toddler, sort paperwork etc.

Get one bag checked in for all general stuff.

I absolutely love holidays with my small kids. Seeing them experience new things and spending time together as a family makes me really happy! You can definitely enjoy it!

Oh and absolutely check in everything you can afford. I've done holidays with 3X hand luggage when I've been the only one capable of carrying it and it was challenging. Still worth it in the grand scheme but getting on/off the plane and through security was tricky when they were small. You'd be amazed how many fit hands free men walk past a woman with 3 bags, sometimes a pushchair too and 2dc struggling down stairs from gate to runway 😆

Totally depends on your expectations of the holiday, your child's temperament and tolerance of change.

Also depends if you have help e.g. partner, grandparents, family, holiday kids club. It sounds like your expectations are realistic.

We took 6 month old baby abroad to a wedding- was tiring but ok. Lot of extra stuff to Pack like buggy etc. Babies that age easy to contain in a buggy or sling.

Holidays when slightly older 2yo and when no 2 arrived were harder. My child doesn't deal with change of routine well so we ended up with 4am starts, 10pm bedtime and tired grouchy child falling asleep in the middle of the day. Going out to eat in restaurants ( child friendly at lunchtime) was torture with a hyperactive overtired child.

It was better by the time the youngest was 2yo ( but she was a much more flexible child than no1!). Now youngest is 4yo, I would happily take them abroad.

I used to work with someone who's husband was Palestinian and had family throughout the middle east. Her eldest had 12 stamps in his passport before he was 2.

If you are visiting relatives that's all you should plan to do. I'm sure your family will have ideas for what to do with a toddler, if there are older cousins (5-10 year olds) expect your toddler to follow them round like a duckling follows mummy duck.

Plan things around your toddler and their routine so don't try to go out for a restaurant meal if it is nap time.

Things to do

Is there a water park near by?
Boat trip?
A trip to the local shop? I remember as a child on holiday in Spain one of the local shop keepers making a fuss of me and my brother. We'd not seen figs before (1970s) so a fig was cut up for us to try.

If you are 2 then life is an adventure.

Amazing holidays and amazing memories.

Any resentment will come from you trying to split yourself too many ways so maybe make clear from the beginning when you want to be involved with other people’s plans and when you don’t.

I think doing it hand luggage only is a bit of a stretch! I would Book some hold luggage too.
However I’ve taken my kids as 1 year olds to Spain and had a wonderful time, and have fond memories. As long as you adjust your expectations, and plan things from a child’s perspective not an adults, it’s possible to have a great time. So schedule naps in, meal times, and don’t plan on being able to sunbathe with a book uninterrupted!

Sure you can have great holiday. Just don't expect it to be like pre baby. I found the trickiest was evening dinner- it's your child's bed time just as you are thinking about going out for dinner! So that's an adjustment. If you like going out and about (as opposed to lounging on the beach), stick to a morning outing and after lunch calm it down - your child might get cranky and tired in the heat and I found one outing a day was enough.
As for packing - it's just a matter of taking the right stuff on the plane - you'll need snacks and a change of clothes and nappies of course. But otherwise I found my kids just ran around in just nappies or with an easy t shirt or dress on top whilst there.
You might get lucky and one of your family may babysit for an evening so you can go out enjoy some nightlife!

I'm another one who doesn't understand the people who find holidays with young children particularly hard work. Yes, you're still parenting, but you're both off work, beautiful surroundings and nice weather without rigid routines to stick to.

Our holidays with babies/toddlers have been truly amazing. Some of the best holidays I've ever had but when we're on holiday we don't do routines, we're laid back, flexible and just go with the flow.

DS (4) has been to Majorca, Disneyland Paris twice and Menorca as well as lots of UK trips to the Lakes, London, CenterParcs etc
DD (15mths) has been to Menorca, CenterParcs, weekends away, and caravan trip in the Lakes.
Absolutely wonderful memories, playing in the sea, on the beach, pool, trying new food in lovely restaurants, making new friends at the kids discos. Then fantastic rides, parades, shows and fireworks in Disneyland. And aquariums, zoos and museums as well as boat trips in the Lakes.

We're off to Disneyland Paris again in May, then Barcelona/Salou in August. Absolutely can't wait.

We’ve always enjoyed holidays when the dc were younger but as everyone says, you just need to have low expectations for them to adjust to the change.
Re toys, we would visit shops and they would see something garish and eye catching - dd1 once fell head over heels in love with a pink plastic fly swatter she was attached to it for 2 whole weeks, slept with it, took it out for dinners in the evening, brought it to the pool with her… best euro we ever spent!
You’ve got 2 adults and one child, you’ll be absolutely fine. Allow for the fact that she won’t be used to the other people on holiday and accept she might me shy and take a while to warm to them, don’t rush it.
And have a lovely time! It’s so nice being somewhere different even though you won’t be having late nights and relaxing lie ins every day like you may have done Pre child. Hopefully you and your dh can agree to do shifts of some kind so you can both have some chill time (ours are older now but when they were younger dh tended to get up and do the early bit if I wanted a lie in because he’s an early bird naturally and I’m more one for the long lie ins. Not every day but a few).

Like someone else said— I personally found it harder with a12-15 year old(we stopped after that) — Moody, having tantrums about something on their phone, beyond the age of holiday clubs but a bit wary about letting them mooch round on their own all the time. Toddlers I found just fine if you choose well and keep it simple— we did Austrian/German type summer resorts which were great— trips on cable cars, lovely indoor and outdoor pools, little trains round the resorts, very casual mountainside restaurants and gorgeous child friendly Stube for eating out. Had a fab time in Seefeld and Garmisch and great weather!! I would also recommend Eurocamp in some great French sites with young ones— great facilities, sit outside your mobile home/tent chatting to others at night with bottles of wine, lovely pools and lots of other kids for yours to mix with. We stayed at several in Brittany and Dordogne—

another one who loves holidays with small kids. We’ve always done it, enjoyed every one! I’d also check in a bag so you can take toys, books and snacks

We took our DS to Portugal when he was 2. It was our first holiday with him, and it was great! Yes. We needed to plan what to pack and he needed a lot of things (clothes/toys/ bath products, etc), but it was fine. We had a lightweight stroller and there was a supermarket nearby selling wipes, nappies, etc. The only thing they don't sell is Calpol (I think it's banned in Portugal, but could be wrong - so I always pack that when we go). It was great fun with our toddler - he liked the pool and the beach and my husband and I took it in turns to entertain DS, when required. Restaurants were very child-friendly. We made sure went somewhere with activities nearby, so that there were things to do.

It's obviously a different experience to holidays pre-children, but still just as magical.

Definitely agree with other posters about checking in as much luggage as you can and maybe invest in a Trunki for your child. Our DS loved his and so easy to pull him along through the airport!

It’s not as fun as pre-children holidays. As others have said lower your expectations

There are lots of pressures to keep kids occupied and entertained in holiday. People go to resorts or all-inclusive. We don't. We see children as capable to adapt, learn and finding things to entertain themselves. Just simply by visiting a different city, strolling in a different cultures settings, walking around with other tourists for site seeing. We sometimes would spend 2-3 days doing things for kids only (like the zoo, water park, or aquarium), but most of the holiday time we do all sorts of different things that everyone can find enjoyment.

DS2 is learning like a sponge. I can see everything, every experience provides him opportunity to discover and learn.

So yes, holiday can be enjoyable for toddlers so as for the adults and their siblings.

I think if you think in terms of a change of scenery and new experiences, sharing new stuff with your DC and seeing them enjoying it, hopefully some good weather and nice views, lovely food etc. And obviously the joy of introducing her to family you’ve not seen for a long time. All of those things are lovely and make the holiday still very enjoyable.

But it’s not a break in the same way. We went away with DD twice last year, once in the Uk and once to visit family abroad. Just before she turned one and a few months after. Both were lovely but yes I did find they required a lot more thought and planning from me. DH is one of the good ones generally but he did leave it up to me a bit certainly the first time, which led to me
Getting quite pissed off, he upped his game the second time!

For the plane DD was actually a dream. For out and about we had a lightweight buggy and a snoozeshade. We tired her out in the day, had nice lunches out and about, then would generally eat at ‘home’/ the accommodation in the evening and put her to bed before sitting in the garden/ terrace with a glass of wine and nibbles. She slept better than at home actually! Exhausted from busy days I guess. Both times were really special and I’ll cherish the memories, but they weren’t like a holiday pre baby obviously.

I have noticed though now she’s getting closer to 2 - she’s just harder work generally! She’s not content in a pushchair for example, and likes to try and throw herself off things/ into duckponds etc as well as the obligatory tantrums about having to leave the park or not being able to hug a goose or whatever. We had a day out yesterday at the seaside, something we do fairly regularly but this was the first time this year. I noticed I was 100 times more knackered by the end of it than when we were going towards the end of last year, just because she’s that much more demanding now. It was still fun and worth it but I can imagine that times 7 or 14 days or however long the holiday was would have me coming home in need of an actual holiday!

I've enjoyed all the holidays/trips abroad (bar 1) I have been on with toddlers (5 or 6 between DS1 and DS2), the only one I didn't enjoy much it was because I was often in my uncle's flat by myself with DS1 while my mum and uncle arranged my gran's funeral.