To think a holiday with a toddler could actually be fun?

[SleeplessInSouthEast]

Yes, appreciate there are bigger things going on in the world but holiday was booked way back for us to go to Portugal so my extended family can meet my little one for the first time since she was born and it's non-refundable. She's almost 2.

The thing is, all I hear and read is how stressful going away with little ones is, from packing, to the flight, to entertaining them whilst away etc, how it's never really a holiday for mums as we have to spend our entire time planning/sorting/switched on, etc etc.

Frankly, I'm starting to dread it now! We haven't been away anywhere, not even a domestic short break for over 3 years and pre-kiddo. I just want us all to have a fun time and not come back feeling it was a waste and we should've stayed home!

AIBU to think it's actually possible to truly enjoy a holiday abroad with a young toddler?

Would welcome any tips and wisdom from MNs with positive experiences!

(One idea was to do an online click and collect shop before we set off to the supermarket near the hotel for nappies, milk, yoghurts etc)

Thank you!

The key difference is it won’t be like your past holidays but if you’re ready to make it very child centred, it’s brilliant. And I say that with three.

Of course you can have fun. One of my greatest joys is watching my dcs explore their world. I explored lots with them too. No, you won’t be able to sip cocktails on a sun lounger and have to watch their every move, and you probably won’t be prepared for everything that can happen but you can middle through and still have fun.

So are you staying with family or staying in hotel and doing holiday things? It makes a difference - the first you will hardly see your child as everyone will be fawning over them and if they have cousins a similar age, well that’s it it’s bliss, you get a lovely break to sit and chat with family etc.

If you’re staying in a hotel, of course it’s possible but you just need to adjust expectations of what you can do and build in downtime, nap times if she still naps and make sure they aren’t hangry at any point. Pack a few of her favourite snacks like Oaty bars if she’s fussy with food. Travelling with babies I used to do a click and collect of baby milk from boots after security so there wasn’t the fluids limit and it didn’t take up space in my luggage, but your toddler probably doesn’t need baby milk anymore?

Toys wise take colouring books and stickers, keeps them busy on the plane too. You can buy them small toys on holiday instead of lugging them there. Activity wise you can still do city tours, low level walks, museums, eating out etc. We took my then 2 year old on safari and he was fine, loved it and adapted to the routine.

Also don’t worry too much about what they eat and don’t eat while on holiday.

I’ve always very much enjoyed holidays with my children even from being very little.
As others have said it’s not a sit around and do nothing sort of situation and, of course, if you are on your own it can be a different story.
I’ve always aimed to keep as much of their normal routine in place and that seems to help keep everyone happy.

These replies are making me feel really emotional (in a good way!) and I'm starting to really look forward to going now!
I'm a SAHM for the moment and I think coupled with the fact it's our first DC and we've done little out of our day to day for a few years had me panicking. But these perspectives are really helping. Thank you everyone x

Family are going to love meeting her and she'll also have cousins to meet and play with. We're so looking forward to seeing them all too!

Not relaxing but can be fun. You can keep it low key.

I actually find it more stressful with teens.

Also when a 2 yr old has a tantrum or refuses something you can pick them up and /or put them in the pushchair. Not so with teens.

And I would say give them longer naps and later bedtimes so you can enjoy the lovely evenings in Portugal too instead of being stuck inside while your toddler sleeps. Only takes a day or two for them to readjust to normal bedtimes if you plan it right. Mine at that age would get tired in the evenings so would be buggied around while they took in the lights and we enjoyed walks in the warm evenings.

Of course it can be fun, it just isn't necessarily relaxing! Most people seem to equate holidays to relaxation, so assume that if you aren't laying on a sun lounger for 8 hours every day your holiday can't be fun.

Just cater your activities. Look around the area you're staying, and see what they have toddler friendly.
We've been to Spain and visited Aquariums, zoos and soft plays and had a great holiday.

@Moyny

I always enjoyed ours, but I’d been flying with DS since he was a couple of months old (all family abroad), and he just had to fit in with whatever was going on. We were usually fairly ambitious, though, and would rent somewhere right on a beach and just potter.

Fairly UNAMBITIOUS, I meant. Cornwall, Paris, Amalfi coast, places like that. I have some lovely memories from back then.

Personally, I can’t think of anything more boring than lying on a sun lounger by a pool or sunbathing on a beach. If I go to the beach I want to be making sandcastles or rock pooling - very fun with a toddler.

I also love to visit art galleries and museums. My children have been visiting art galleries with me since they were born. I found you can keep toddlers engaged by asking them lots of questions about what they can see or which painting is their favourite. Also give them little tasks, like can you spot a painting with a sunflower? Toddlers love museums too.

We tended to keep to normal bed times and always had a fantastic time - but we share the workload equally. If you overture the child and don't share the work then, I imagine, it could be less fun!

We always had fun but I think that's due to DS being an only child - I'm not sure how we would have fared with more than one TBH!

The biggest crisis was I was a bit of a sugar nazi at the time and DS only had a yoghurt or piece of fruit as a sweet treat. On recommendation I bought lollies for landing but of course bought sugar free ones

Sugar free lollipops and a nappy wearing toddler are not a good combination (for your future reference )

@mowglika

So are you staying with family or staying in hotel and doing holiday things? It makes a difference - the first you will hardly see your child as everyone will be fawning over them and if they have cousins a similar age, well that’s it it’s bliss, you get a lovely break to sit and chat with family etc.

If you’re staying in a hotel, of course it’s possible but you just need to adjust expectations of what you can do and build in downtime, nap times if she still naps and make sure they aren’t hangry at any point. Pack a few of her favourite snacks like Oaty bars if she’s fussy with food. Travelling with babies I used to do a click and collect of baby milk from boots after security so there wasn’t the fluids limit and it didn’t take up space in my luggage, but your toddler probably doesn’t need baby milk anymore?

Toys wise take colouring books and stickers, keeps them busy on the plane too. You can buy them small toys on holiday instead of lugging them there. Activity wise you can still do city tours, low level walks, museums, eating out etc. We took my then 2 year old on safari and he was fine, loved it and adapted to the routine.

Also don’t worry too much about what they eat and don’t eat while on holiday.

Good call on oaty bars. sticker books! We're staying at a hotel but family a short drive away. They're planning to come and crash at the hotel pool with their kids too. I think you're right, having family with DC might help everything feel a little lighter.

Transitioning out of naps at the moment so my expectations on sleep are pretty low anyway 😂

Our dc are all young adults now but we've had some amazing holidays with them when they were preschoolers. We went to France (Paris and Normandy). We went to Italy for a wedding and a weeks holiday. We went to London (we live in Scotland.) We backpacked round Central America when dc3 was 17 months old - she was literally in a backpack! We never found holidays with them stressful and as long as we were realistic we had a great time. More time in playgrounds than most adults would like! Only one of us who didn't get d&v in Guatemala was the breastfed one!

Holidays have always been important to us and this year we are going to Croatia with all three kids and their partners. We have a holiday home which the children regularly use.

Family are going to love meeting her and she'll also have cousins to meet and play with. We're so looking forward to seeing them all too!

You don’t need toys when you have this! She will love playing with her cousins. You’ll have a fabulous time!

@Changeychangey

Our dc are all young adults now but we've had some amazing holidays with them when they were preschoolers. We went to France (Paris and Normandy). We went to Italy for a wedding and a weeks holiday. We went to London (we live in Scotland.) We backpacked round Central America when dc3 was 17 months old - she was literally in a backpack! We never found holidays with them stressful and as long as we were realistic we had a great time. More time in playgrounds than most adults would like! Only one of us who didn't get d&v in Guatemala was the breastfed one!

Holidays have always been important to us and this year we are going to Croatia with all three kids and their partners. We have a holiday home which the children regularly use.

Oh this sounds so lovely! Definitely something to aspire to (although perhaps not the d&v in Guatemala 😂) Would say 'hope' you have a wonderful holiday in Croatia but no doubt you absolutely will!

@MontgomeryHawka

Personally, I can’t think of anything more boring than lying on a sun lounger by a pool or sunbathing on a beach. If I go to the beach I want to be making sandcastles or rock pooling - very fun with a toddler.

I also love to visit art galleries and museums. My children have been visiting art galleries with me since they were born. I found you can keep toddlers engaged by asking them lots of questions about what they can see or which painting is their favourite. Also give them little tasks, like can you spot a painting with a sunflower? Toddlers love museums too.

That takes me back. I have a vivid memory of going through the Kelvingrove gallery in Glasgow with two year old DS doing hats or fruit in paintings, and if there were children in paintings, would he like to play with them and what were they like. Turns out he’s way happier with conceptual stuff.

@LizzieSiddal

Family are going to love meeting her and she'll also have cousins to meet and play with. We're so looking forward to seeing them all too!

You don’t need toys when you have this! She will love playing with her cousins. You’ll have a fabulous time!

This is so true, I had completely overlooked the fact that all the DC together will probably make their own fun anyway!

I've always found holidays with my children fun, at every stage of their life. Surely anyone who has been a parent for more than 2 minutes doesn't expect a holiday with a toddler to involve much in the way of sitting down and drinking margaritas?? Obviously it won't be that. But spending time with family, in a different environment without having to worry about the same old routine is great! Not working, being with your kids, in the sunshine (hopefully), new experiences, new food, a bit of spending money (hopefully)... To me that's all great stuff.

I would say don't overthink it and be prepared to go with the flow. It's easy to get really stressed and anxious but there's really no need, it will be fine (unless we're talking camping in which case a certain element of stress around packing is required!!)

I wish I could respond to every single poster so far as you've all helped me feel so much better about this and have already given me some great ideas on how to ease things.
Please do keep them coming! I hope this might help anyone else in future too as I mostly came across negative stuff on toddlers + holidays and really needed this positive spin :)

Why would it not be possible?!

We just went on holiday as usual with our two (2 year age gap). We went camping a lot - with baby and toddler

It really all depends on your approach.

If you approach it in the spirit of trying to make the absolute best of things as they pan out, you will enjoy it.

If you approach it expecting it to be like pre-kids holidays, you'll feel deprived and frustrated and disappointed.

You will still have all the challenges of daily life in another place. Your toddler might not sleep well, there will be lots to adapt to.

But it will be a change of scene, some sunshine, different food, a chance to be together, and there will be some moments at least which you will look back very fondly on - eg your toddler dipping feet in the sea or having a big ice-cream.

Just approach it with realistic expectations and "a change is as good as a rest" kind of mentality and you will enjoy it I am sure.

My mum has fond memories of going on holiday with me to family aged 2, hope you end up having the same.

Well I've got very happy & treasured memories of toddler holidays!
BUT we always planned our holidays around their needs including activities we knew they would enjoy.
They were happy, we were happy.
Holidays change when you have children, if I'd expected lazy days on a sunlounger then I'm sure it would have been stressful. We always planned holidays around the dc's ages & abilities. Those years go by pretty quickly & we're back to relaxing on sunloungers now!

Some of my favourite hols ever have had toddlers with me. I have loved showing them the pool and swimming with them on my back waterbabies style, seeing their delight at going on a little land train, paddling in the sea. Their delight at tiny things like ice cream, living statues, carousels, the plane. Of course it is hard work but like the rest of it it somehow makes every aspect, even the mundane parts like the airport, special and fun. Twice pre covid I have booked a day or two before and had a sunny weekend away on a whim with a little one. Have fun!

If you have active family help then it definitely can be! I think people are referring to holidays where you still have to cook, clean, do childcare (possibly more than normal) and it’s hard to enjoy.
With doting family around it will be different I’m sure.