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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think kids don't get bullied for their names these days

91 replies

FunnysInLaJardin · 11/03/2022 21:56

I got bullied in the 80's for my unusual name.

My DC have unusual names and say they have never been bullied or laughed at for their names.

We live in a part of the country where there are lots of Eastern Europeans, Portuguese and folk from Madeira and so the names of the kids mates are really diverse.

I do think we have left the bad old days behind and a persons name is just that with minimal connotations.

Obvs there will still be the old class divide between the British, but in general I don't think kids names lead to bullying in the way the used to. And honestly hurrah for that!

OP posts:
Violetmo0n · 11/03/2022 21:57

I agree.
Along with wearing glasses and ginger hair.
It was horrendous for people when I was at school, it's completely different now thankfully.

SickAndTiredAgain · 11/03/2022 22:00

Not necessarily for having unusual names, but if children can find a mean nickname it will probably get used as part of bullying. But as part of bullying that is happening anyway - I mean, a child is picked on for whatever reason, and their name will be used as part of that if possible.

Porcupineintherough · 11/03/2022 22:01

Ds1 has an unusual name. A few comments now and then (and those mostly from people my age). No bullying.

Hellocatshome · 11/03/2022 22:01

I would agree that names and glasses etc aren't resons for bullying anymore but there is still A LOT of bullying that goes on nd it is worse than in the "old days" because they can continue bullying you 24/7 not just at school.

ZoyaTheDestroyer · 11/03/2022 22:02

YANBU. I'm a secondary school teacher and whilst students tease and bully each other over all sorts of things, names are rarely amongst them. In one very multi-cultural school I taught a boy called Phúc. No-one ever commented.

Ducksurprise · 11/03/2022 22:02

Children still get bullied for their names, definitely for being ginger (this is a real problem, there is a slap a ginger day) and for anything. They can get bullied for having a normal name or a different name, or a name that now means something (we have a friend called Bruno, it has been relentless) sadly schools have problems with bullies, however bullying over names is not how MN expect

LampLighter414 · 11/03/2022 22:03

They definitely do

Find some kids with unusual names and ask

Find some kids with normal names that can be changed by one letter or shortened to something rude and ask

AHungryCaterpillar · 11/03/2022 22:05

I don’t think so not as much anyway, there are kids in my children's class called universe, diamond and lucky, I was a bit Hmm but my children aren’t phased by the names but back when I was in school they would have been bullied badly

Tothemoonandbackx · 11/03/2022 22:06

Someone commented behind my back and through txt, but I did end up seeing it. I can't go into too much detail.....but they said...."that kid with the weird name" meaning my DD....I was so fucking angry when I saw it.

Fivebeanchilli · 11/03/2022 22:08

Totally agree.
My children are at schools with children with all sorts of names - lots that people on here would immediately say "they'll get bullied" - Gabriel, Lucian etc (I've seen countless posts on here about "they'll get called gay or Lucy Ann" etc) and no one even mentions their names.
Glasses/braces/ginger hair - none of them cause bullying in my experience...

Coffeencrochet · 11/03/2022 22:12

I worked at a pretty diverse school and no one got bullied for their names, and we had all sorts - Precious, Angel, an entire family named after gemstones, Fatihi (pronounced fatty).

lms2017 · 11/03/2022 22:15

My son is Jesse and he is always being told it's a girl's name mainly by girls ! ! He just replies actually Jesse James was a famous outlaw and he was a man !
His other comeback is that whatever that person's name is he will say oh I have a friend who's a girl with the name "jack"! Or i know a boy called Molly!
Soon stops them and he doesn't batt an eyelid X

Bullying exists more so now in the sense it's not just in person etc my cousin when 14 was told.how to end her life by some other girl all documented on Facebook it went on for over a year luckily she came to me and confided so I could tell her parents . Police were involved etc.

Onionpatch · 11/03/2022 22:20

I dont think children bully over names anymore. There is a much bigger variety they are exposed to. The only name I have seen cause an issue was Fani. It was adults that struggled more though (the girl changed her name when the meaning was explained to her mum)

Original poster
FunnysInLaJardin · 11/03/2022 22:21

kIds still get bullied without a doubt, but not for their names per se anymore

OP posts:
DialsMavis · 11/03/2022 22:25

My son has a very unusual name and he has never been bullied or teased because of it and he is 19 now, so hopefully out of the woods in that regard Smile

LemonsLimes · 11/03/2022 22:26

Dd goes to a South London comp. She has red hair and never been bullied. (She's 15) older dd is 18 and neither have ever been aware of anti ginger bullying at the school. Older people assume red heads would be picked on as that was their experience in the past. Same with names. Obviously I can't speak for all schools/areas. Dd never been name called in the street either

Echobelly · 11/03/2022 22:31

I've not heard of it - that said both kids went to (well, son still at) a Jewish primary where quite a lot of kids have Hebrew names that aren't that common (unlike when we were kids and there was still this fear of sounding too Jewish so everyone was Daniel and Rebecca and Hannah etc), but they're not seen as weird at all in their context.

I think you might get circumstantial bullying - eg, as other people have mentioned, any lad called 'Bruno' might be in for it right now - but not for having a 'weird' name so much, as names are much more varied. I grew up with a slightly unusual name, but then I went to quite multicultural schools in London, so it wasn't really remarked on.

Echobelly · 11/03/2022 22:32

I'm glad to hear that redhead bullying is less of a thing - I always thought it was among the most pointless and horrible bullying. Red hair is gorgeous!

ImNotWhoYouThinkIam · 11/03/2022 22:34

DS1 was bullied and his name was used as part of that. I suppose he wasn't technically bullied "for his name" but it was another thing they could use.

EIisheva · 11/03/2022 22:35

Actually my children have red hair and aren’t even aware that red headed kids ever get bullied - the whole thing has seemingly passed them by

The kids at his school don’t even use the word ginger - I checked his watsapp class
Messages sometimes and they just refer to people as having red hair when it’s ever mentioned at all - I’ll admit I was pleasantly surprised by that.

Thewindwhispers · 11/03/2022 22:54

My friend’s kid gets bullied for being ginger and I do know a boy who gets mocked by the other kids for his name (its very American). Also know two kids who cet bullied over their race.

Maybe my village is not as nice as I thought 🧐

MiniDaffodils · 11/03/2022 22:58

TA here. If they have an amusing or Yoonique name they will be teased.

ThanksItHasPockets · 11/03/2022 23:01

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HardbackWriter · 11/03/2022 23:10

I always think that people get cause and effect muddled up with this kind of thing anyway. Kids don't get bullied because of this kind of thing, they get bullied because they appear vulnerable or unacceptable to the other kids in some other way and if they happen to have a 'weird' name that becomes part of the bullying. But that kid wouldn't just have been left alone with another name. Some kids are accepted and seen as 'cool' by their peers and have a massive 'room for error', others aren't and don't - it isn't always clear why.

HomeHomeInTheRange · 11/03/2022 23:59

We live in S London and there was an equal spread of Nigerian, Polish, Vietnamese, Portuguese, Indian, etc etc plus middle class hippy, Hollywood CopyCat and so on. A huge range of names, all unfamiliar to at least one other community within the school.

Having a reaction to a name would have been considered deeply uncool in any of the 3 schools my kids attended.