to think kids don't get bullied for their names these days

[FunnysInLaJardin]

I got bullied in the 80's for my unusual name.

My DC have unusual names and say they have never been bullied or laughed at for their names.

We live in a part of the country where there are lots of Eastern Europeans, Portuguese and folk from Madeira and so the names of the kids mates are really diverse.

I do think we have left the bad old days behind and a persons name is just that with minimal connotations.

Obvs there will still be the old class divide between the British, but in general I don't think kids names lead to bullying in the way the used to. And honestly hurrah for that!

i But anyway I think it’s to do with whether it’s a bulliable child to be honest.

This. I know of lots of people with "bulliable" characteristics who are never bullied, because they appear confident and if anyone does tease them once about one of those characteristics, they just laugh or do a good comeback. It becomes regular bullying when the person shows they are upset by it. I've got ginger hair myself, and I've literally never heard a negative comment about it in my life. However, when I was very young, my first name was similar to a popular toy at that time, and people used to call me that. I hated it and always got upset and said "don't call me that," so of course they did it more. I was a bit weird in various ways anyway, so they enjoyed making fun of me and I'd just handed them a weapon. I didn't shake off that horrible nickname until we moved to a different town. If I'd just laughed and gone along with it, I think it would have died away very quickly - but you don't know these things when you're little.

Later in life, I knew a boy who had ginger hair and was also, frankly, a rather unpleasant person - arrogant, argumentative, selfish. He hated people commenting on his ginger hair so it became the stick they used to beat him with, but really it was just that they didn't like him. He had a couple of other potential "bulliable characteristics" too, including a name that you could probably make fun of if you chose to, and nobody ever mentioned them, because they'd already found the button to press. (Incidentally, he's an adult now and he has grown up to be a much nicer person.)

The reverse is also true. They'll make fun of someone called the most popular name of the moment if they don't like them. Ollie the Wally? Jack, Jack, deserves a smack? See, it's not that difficult to think of something.

32soulinablackberrypie
That is a beautiful example of victim blaming 🙄

So if your child is picked on/teased/bullied (they are very similar imo) for their name, don't deal with the bullies. Change the child's name. Right.

If your child is picked on/teased/bullied just teach them to laugh it off. I mean why should the bully change their behaviour when the victim can.

And to the PP who said children aren't bullied for their sexuality anymore... they absolutely are.

Sadly I have known of cases of bullying begun by adults.
An example is a very large girl who I heard a child of about four call Ten Ton Tessie.
(Tess is very similar to her actual name)
I know a child that age didn’t come up with that. Adults must have said it first.

@Violetmo0n

I agree. Along with wearing glasses and ginger hair. It was horrendous for people when I was at school, it's completely different now thankfully.

No it isn't.

I can categorically state that. It might not be widespread - I have no idea - but it's still happening

@ImNotWhoYouThinkIam

So if your child is picked on/teased/bullied (they are very similar imo) for their name, don't deal with the bullies. Change the child's name. Right.

If your child is picked on/teased/bullied just teach them to laugh it off. I mean why should the bully change their behaviour when the victim can.

And to the PP who said children aren't bullied for their sexuality anymore... they absolutely are.

I hate the flippant 'teach them to laugh it off' comments

If only it were that easy.

But let's make the victims do all the work. How about stopping the perpetrators instead?

In my day if you was to shop at Aldi
You would of got bullied . Or is had a stores own brand crisps you would of got bullied .
Bullying is still there it's just a different focus .

@soulinablackberrypie

i But anyway I think it’s to do with whether it’s a bulliable child to be honest.

This. I know of lots of people with "bulliable" characteristics who are never bullied, because they appear confident and if anyone does tease them once about one of those characteristics, they just laugh or do a good comeback. It becomes regular bullying when the person shows they are upset by it. I've got ginger hair myself, and I've literally never heard a negative comment about it in my life. However, when I was very young, my first name was similar to a popular toy at that time, and people used to call me that. I hated it and always got upset and said "don't call me that," so of course they did it more. I was a bit weird in various ways anyway, so they enjoyed making fun of me and I'd just handed them a weapon. I didn't shake off that horrible nickname until we moved to a different town. If I'd just laughed and gone along with it, I think it would have died away very quickly - but you don't know these things when you're little.

Later in life, I knew a boy who had ginger hair and was also, frankly, a rather unpleasant person - arrogant, argumentative, selfish. He hated people commenting on his ginger hair so it became the stick they used to beat him with, but really it was just that they didn't like him. He had a couple of other potential "bulliable characteristics" too, including a name that you could probably make fun of if you chose to, and nobody ever mentioned them, because they'd already found the button to press. (Incidentally, he's an adult now and he has grown up to be a much nicer person.)

The reverse is also true. They'll make fun of someone called the most popular name of the moment if they don't like them. Ollie the Wally? Jack, Jack, deserves a smack? See, it's not that difficult to think of something.

Really? It's the kid's fault that it gets bullied?? You can't be serious?

I'm trying to think of a name that's close to Buzz Lightyear but I can't.

Not for having a strange name IME but I have known children (more than one) get bullied about their name because of a character with the same name that appeared in a film. Not much you can do about that though unless you can predict future character names!

Kids get bullied because a bully perceives some vulnerability or weakness in them.
If that kid happens to have an unusual name, red hair, glasses, be rich, be poor, be pretty, be ugly - all those things will be used against them.

The most popular girl at my school was actually quite overweight and had glasses but no one dared bully her about it.
There was a girl who got bullied whose very popular name ended "ella" who was relentlessly called Smella among other things.

You can't bully-proof your child by choosing the correct name.

Pooja and Apricot could be super confident, popular girls that no one messes with.
Emma and Lucy could have the piss ripped out of their names every single day.

In my day if you was to shop at Aldi
You would of got bullied . Or is had a stores own brand crisps you would of got bullied .

That still happens. I’ve seen threads on here with mums considering buying branded items for kids lunch boxes due to comments from other kids. One mum was told to just put the own brand crisps in a clear food bag but others felt the child would still be bullied and said she should buy branded items to make it easier for the child. I think she had 3 kids but only one was getting bullied due to it.
Kids still say unkind things if you have a carrier bag from the ‘wrong’ shop to put muddy football boots in after PE. A carrier bag that’s not even ‘on show’, it just goes inside their sports bag! All the same bullying is there as it was when I at school.

I gave my children names that I liked but that I knew wouldn’t stand out as unusual. I tend to like names I’ve heard before and have good associations with anyway. I also buy my children whatever they need to fit in, if they’ve wanted it, to minimise the chance of them being bullied. Of course we shouldn’t have to do that, parents should teach their children not to be bullying little shits whether it’s names or trainers or......but they don’t or they do and kids still bully anyway.

@Aworldofmyown

32soulinablackberrypie That is a beautiful example of victim blaming 🙄

I don’t think it’s victim blaming, it was a response to my post. I wasn’t suggesting that people deserve to be bullied, but that people aren’t bullied for wearing glasses, having a certain name etc. They’re bullied because someone else is a bully and they are vulnerable to be a victim in some way. So the bully finds something they can pick on.

I remember seeing a film ages ago (daft film) with a boy named Jason Banks who everyone called jizz n wanks. The point is people will be nasty to someone they want to be nasty about. It’s not because they’re called Ellie that they’re being bullied with ‘smelly Ellie.’ It’s because someone wants to bully them.

@soulinablackberrypie

I bet the guy who was horrible was trying to develop a front against the bullies.

Confidence thing. - agree. I’ve taught my kids to be really proud of their hair and they are. They love looking different.

I think if you're the kind of child who gets bullied then they'll find something, name or otherwise. If you're a cool kid then an unusual name will only make you seem cooler.

@garlictwist if I chose a 'weird name'.......this was a grown adult woman being rude about a childs name behind my back!!!! Have you ever heard of the phrase..."if you can't say anything nice" kids don't know any better, adults certainly do. There's no excusing her in my eyes.

I don't think people really care about names anymore. My mother and father were openly fantasy enthusiasts, naming me something unconventional, and honestly, I've never heard anyone else with my name Emallea. I was bullied a lot back in secondary school, though it was largely because of my odd personality, whereas my sons, who I have named Atherac and Alderac, one after their German grandfather the other just a cute little rhyme for the twins, haven't been bullied from what I know. They're even in a class with a girl called Amazing Grace and Mansion.

I think that people have decided that with all the quirky names about, they don't really matter anymore?