Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My ex boss has stolen my leaving collection

111 replies

Sadleaver · 11/03/2022 20:05

I left my last job a month ago. My boss said he would put my leaving card and gift (bought with the money from a staff collection) in the post, as he wasn't around on my last day working in the office (hybrid working). He recently told one of my former colleagues he sent me a £50 John Lewis voucher, a bottle of gin and some sweets that I like, posted on my last day. But nothing has arrived, and there are no issues with my post deliveries. Interestingly, he doesn't know my address and has never asked me for it...

I genuinely don't care about a bottle of booze and a voucher, it's the principal of taking other people's money I'm annoyed with. I know I have no evidence but this manager is a bully and keeps getting away with horrible behaviour (which is why I left). He got caught stealing bottles of wine from our Xmas party a few years back, so he has form. Surely he'd have sent a parcel valued at roughly £80 by signed for post as well, or would check that I'd received it?

Would I be mad to say something?

OP posts:
HaudYerWheeshtYaWeeBellend · 11/03/2022 21:21

Ask him… he will be able be able to advise if he’s been given the correct address or if it’s “stolen” anything!

ThreeRingCircus · 11/03/2022 21:21

@HiJenny35

Play it well, email the office and say... X told me that Y had posted me a voucher and bottle of drink, it hasn't arrived and I'm worried it may be lost in the post. Would you have the tracking details so I can chance it up? Hope you are all well. That way they all know what he's done, the office staff will spread it round, you won't get your gift but at least people will know.
Do this. I agree don't go in guns blazing, play it this way instead.

I don't know how big your organisation is but in ours a manager wouldn't usually post the gifts, these would be sorted by HR as we're not allowed to pass on employee home addresses to other members of staff without consent.

1000yellowdaisies · 11/03/2022 21:24

You must say something! Your ex colleagues put their hands in their pockets for you not him!

Somuddled · 11/03/2022 21:25

I would contact him and play rhe naive angle. 'Hi, x asked me the other day if I liked my leaving gifts but I've not received. I'm happy to come and collect from your home/office to save you the trouble of getting it in the post. I'd like to do this ASAP so that I can than the whole team for thier lovely contributions.'

1000yellowdaisies · 11/03/2022 21:26

You have left, you have nothing to lose

Wonnle · 11/03/2022 21:26

Why do people on here always assume that where ever anyone works they have an HR dept or board of directors ?

Sorrynotsorry2 · 11/03/2022 21:29

Ffs say something

emsyj37 · 11/03/2022 21:29

If you order a gift voucher for delivery from John Lewis they send it via a recorded method and charge for this separately- I did the maternity collection for a colleague during lockdown and if it was ordered direct from John Lewis he would have had to send named day delivery and would have tracking details. It would make no sense to go to the shop, buy the gifts and then take a trip to the Post office to post them - surely you'd order for delivery?
100% raise it, cheeky fecker.

Bringsexyback · 11/03/2022 21:33

People have been sacked and charged with theft for less.

lottiegarbanzo · 11/03/2022 21:35

You've left! You have the perfect opportunity to expose him, or hint strongly at least.

lborgia · 11/03/2022 21:37

How is he still there if he is known to have already stolen the wine?

Yes, write, include HR, and check someone else can write you a reference if that's still necessary.

Porcupineintherough · 11/03/2022 21:44

@HiJenny35

Play it well, email the office and say... X told me that Y had posted me a voucher and bottle of drink, it hasn't arrived and I'm worried it may be lost in the post. Would you have the tracking details so I can chance it up? Hope you are all well. That way they all know what he's done, the office staff will spread it round, you won't get your gift but at least people will know.
^^This.
Jack80 · 11/03/2022 21:56

Speak to any of your former colleagues and mention it

tkwal · 11/03/2022 22:21

Just out of interest, are you the OP who's boss ignored her birthday and no one else's in her office ? I seem to remember that boss was caught stealing wine at Christmas too.If it was you, congratulations on getting your new job and now you're out of there make sure the greedy$%€:*÷ gets what he deserves.Im sure the people whocontributed would be outraged too

Fuckityfucksake · 11/03/2022 22:22

Tell the former colleague who told you what he said that you've not received anything so could they ask the boss to chase it via the tracking number.
2 birds with one stone - the colleague/workplace becomes aware and the boss knows people know he's a shady bastard.
Even if he sends you the gifts later and you don't particularly want them it's the principle. People gave money in good faith for those things.

RampantIvy · 11/03/2022 22:29

@Fuckityfucksake

Tell the former colleague who told you what he said that you've not received anything so could they ask the boss to chase it via the tracking number. 2 birds with one stone - the colleague/workplace becomes aware and the boss knows people know he's a shady bastard. Even if he sends you the gifts later and you don't particularly want them it's the principle. People gave money in good faith for those things.
Yes. Do this. Your ex colleagues will thinking how rude you are for not thanking them. At least they will know that you never received anything.
Mamaof2males · 11/03/2022 22:36

I’m sorry you didn’t receive your leaving gift, your colleagues will wonder why you haven’t thanked them! Also they parted with their hard earned cash - out the CF it’s theft!! Do it in a sly way by emailing the team or a few ex colleagues and ask for tracking number etc and they will soon work it out.

BoredZelda · 11/03/2022 22:40

This sounds awfully familiar. Wasn’t there a boss who did this with a birthday gift, and also stole alcohol? Must be quite a common occurrence.

Cocomarine · 11/03/2022 22:45

@Pyri

That’s awful!!

One way to get your address i from HR though so he might tell you that

I would, of course, ask him for the tracking number from post office and if he says he doesn’t have it I’d send an email to the team thanking them for their donations but saying sadly it seems to have got lost somewhere

Actually at my place (big corporate) you wouldn’t be given an address. They follow data protection, and that excuse wouldn’t pass muster. They would mail it for you. Of course not all places are the same - but I mention it because if yours is, then it’s an extra piece of evidence that he’s bullshitting.
Original poster
Sadleaver · 11/03/2022 22:58

@lborgia

How is he still there if he is known to have already stolen the wine?

Yes, write, include HR, and check someone else can write you a reference if that's still necessary.

He laughed it off as being a drunken mistake. He's a 'banter' person who manages to laugh off everything.

Yet he told other members of staff that night that he was not drinking much and leaving early because he was playing in a sports final the next morning Hmm

OP posts:
PyongyangKipperbang · 11/03/2022 23:05

You've left, you literally have nothing to lose here, fuck yeah say something to everyone you can! You are not going to lose here but you might just be saving everyone who still works with this piece of shit.

Silvershroud · 11/03/2022 23:43

You can't do anything. That is why you left. We are often helpless. At least he is not bombing cities, he is just a minor blip on the worlds landscape. They are everywhere, unfortunately.

TravellingFrom · 12/03/2022 17:49

Do you still have the details of your colleagues?

Send them an email and thank the gift. But let them know what happened too!
At the very least they need to know you know they made the effort iyswim.

And then HR.
The good thing is that, as you are not in the company anymore, he can’t make your life a misery!

Whatamesssss · 12/03/2022 17:56

@Silvershroud

You can't do anything. That is why you left. We are often helpless. At least he is not bombing cities, he is just a minor blip on the worlds landscape. They are everywhere, unfortunately.
Why even post that? There have been bombing for years in Palestine etc. Don't recall anyone saying BUT THE WAR.
downtonupton · 12/03/2022 18:23

Is that the same boss who didn't give you the work birthday vouchers? www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4490513-To-call-out-boss-ignoring-my-birthday?msgid=115400485&postsby=Peachyroll&fromid=115390517

i do think you should report him to work and let your ex colleague know - he has done it to you twice and is probably doing it to other people.

Swipe left for the next trending thread