To be losing my looks in my early 30’s

[Samantha312]

Anybody else feel the same? I felt really attractive in my 20’s..but now with 2 young children I feel ugly and old. Is it just a phase?

Can you ever look as good as you were in your 20’s?

Young children and lack of sleep are beauty zappers. But it's not permanent. You're still very young.

It's only gonna get worse because you're not getting any younger! May as well enjoy the way you look now.

You will never look like you are in your twenties again- even with Botox etc- just look like you have had Botox/ fillers.
You can however still be attractive!

@Blackcatsocks

It's only gonna get worse because you're not getting any younger! May as well enjoy the way you look now.

Oh bullshit.

You will not have the mega glow of the very young years but you can look a lot better as a 40 year old that has time to look after yourself than as a knackered 32 year old.

Anything you can do to get more sleep OP? Do you have a partner and are they pulling their weight?

Guess it depends how you looked in your 20s. I was either working ridiculous hours or falling out of a pub or club so looked mostly like shit! I look significantly better at 40, even with two small sleep thieves.

When you say you won’t have that young glow? Is that a bad thing? Do you think you can still be as attractive in your 30’s…but in a different way?

I doubt you look ugly and old in your early 30s. There’s not much you can do anyway. Look after your health, eat well, sleep as much as you can with young children, don’t smoke, don’t drink too much alcohol. You look like what you look like. You won’t ever look 20 again 🤷🏻‍♀️

If I send somebody a picture in a PM will you honestly tell me if I look bad.

@Samantha312

If I send somebody a picture in a PM will you honestly tell me if I look bad.

You’re putting way too much emphasis on looks, and asking strangers on the internet to validate you is a sign you’re in an unhealthy place.

You need to reframe your thinking.

Your body has made two humans - it’s amazing. No matter what it looks like.

Think of all the things you’ve done and the experience you’ve gained since you were 20. You’re a much better informed and well rounded person.

How many new skills, and what reams of new knowledge have you gained since you were that age?

Don’t you think all those things are more valuable and contribute more to you as a person than the quirk of genetics which made your face look how it does?

As age goes up, everything else goes down.
My mum said that to me once, and I now know what she meant.

You’re in your early 30s, you’re not going to look old. Even people I know that have had a hard life, are struggling with kids, no sleep etc, at 30 something, they don’t look old.

I think you should stop fixating on your looks. Look after your health, take as much time for yourself as you can with young kids, do whatever you can to make yourself look good by all means....but realise that there’s more important things, both in your own life and in the wider world.

When I look in the mirror I think I look better even though I’m older - it’s seeing laughter lines, twinkling eyes, a more structured and characterful face. I see this in others too.

I look better at 50 than i did at 30. Its not just my opinion either. The kids are grown up...i have time for me and more disposable income for hair care/ skin care , clothing etc

How young are your DC? I’ve always looked quite a lot younger than I am and in the first year of my DD’s life I aged about 5 years. It’s got better since.

@Samantha312

When you say you won’t have that young glow? Is that a bad thing? Do you think you can still be as attractive in your 30’s…but in a different way?

Yes, personally I think attractive women in their 30s, 40s and beyond are more intriguing than pretty girls in their 20s. So yes, at least as attractive, but in a slightly different way.

I was my happiest looks wise at 35 ish and 50 ish
I was also quite attractive 15-20 but sadly didn’t see it myself

I think I look way better now in early thirties, partly because I don’t live off a diet of booze and unhealthy food, partly because I gained confidence in my sense of self and developed better personal style. Maybe my skin was bouncier when I was twenty but I was not happy in lots of ways. Specially with how I looked. Learning to embrace the moment is key.

I’m 53 and looking much better than I did in my 20s!

Look, aging is unavoidable. So you either have a negative view and spend the next half a century looking backwards and being miserable about it or you realise that youth is not synonymous with beauty and embrace the different stages of your life and all the positives they bring. By all means take care of yourself, eat and dress well, colour your hair or whatever but please don't go chasing that awful, unnatural fake look with fillers etc in some wrong headed quest to regain a 'better' look that a) won't happen and b) isn't actually better.

Oh please don't listen to the "it's all downhill from here crew " it really is absolute rubbish and really quite ridiculous.

In my early thirties like you with young DC I felt like I looked awful and certainly felt awful but it's the young children era.

Pretty much everyone I know ,including me looks better now in their early forties than they did in their 20's. This idea that looking young and fresh-faced is automatically the only version of attractive is absolute crap. Mostly we realise this in our forties.

Really , your looks haven't faded they have upgraded. Youth and glowy is lovely at the time but hardly something to aspire to. Age brings knowledge of your own body , experience in your own style and a knowledge that this idea of the 20's being the pinnacle is complete and utter bollocks.

The confidence and time comes back if you have your head screwed on tight. I can honestly say I wouldn't choose to look like I did at 22 anymore over what I look at 42. I look better now out the other side of the childcare years.

Is say its a phase. I completely lost my self when I had DS in my 30's. I'm 41 now and think I look pretty damn good again. Yes I've got wrinkles, saggy bits and grey hair but i can't say any of it bothers me.

You think this is challenging, wait til you hit the perimenopause.

It's a funny thing, but I was the most worried about aging when I was in my early thirties. I started trying out expensive(ish) creams, serums and even (oh the shame) tried frownies. I think there is this panic that if you don't do something about the ageing at this point, then you are doomed forever (probably put out there by the people selling the creams, serums and frownies). I was really focussed on my wrinkles and how to improve them. I am now 44, and actually think I look great - I don't obsess over individual lines, and I like my face. It's a nice face, and it's mine.

I really miss the “youthful glow” I used to have. That won’t come back I can’t imagine but I still feel attractive when I make a little effort which is hard when sleep deprived with two young children. I also find that I have to put more effort into my overall look to look good compared to when I was younger.

I look better at 37 than I did at 30, because the kids are older, I am not pregnant / breastfeeding / eating entire packs of biscuits, I get more sleep and life is generally a bit less bonkers. So there is hope