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Original poster

To be losing my looks in my early 30’s

70 replies

Samantha312 · 10/03/2022 22:37

Anybody else feel the same? I felt really attractive in my 20’s..but now with 2 young children I feel ugly and old. Is it just a phase?

Can you ever look as good as you were in your 20’s?

OP posts:
Aprilx · 11/03/2022 08:35

@Samantha312

When you say you won’t have that young glow? Is that a bad thing? Do you think you can still be as attractive in your 30’s…but in a different way?
Of course it is possible to look attractive in your 30s. I am sure you must have seen attractive people this age.
puffyisgood · 11/03/2022 08:40

if it's any consolation I underwent a first noticeable loss of looks at about 28 but then seemed to plateau, didn't lose a lot more for the next decade or so (after which I went downhill a bit further).

Maisa45 · 11/03/2022 08:42

@Samantha312

If I send somebody a picture in a PM will you honestly tell me if I look bad.
Send me one if you like and we can compare 😂 I'm also early 30s and feel the same way as you. I spend a fortune on skincare these days trying to make myself feel better. But I see other people my age who I think look really nice. Maybe we are too hard on ourselves.
DancingBarefootOnIce · 11/03/2022 08:46

I feel the same and have a baby in my mid 30s but it’s not just looks but in my body. My knees and back feel older like bending down to the floor my joints feel stiff. I should get back into yoga but it’s finding the time.

You can still look good in 30s plus but not exactly the same. I was recently clearing out clothes and there’s somethings I can’t get away with wearing that I did in my 20s.

Hallowbat · 11/03/2022 08:48

I think a lot of people look more attractive as they get older, youth isn’t everything

Waxonwaxoff0 · 11/03/2022 08:48

I'm 31 and think I still look ok. Had my DS young though so I'm not in the knackered baby/toddler stage.

arethereanyleftatall · 11/03/2022 08:52

I'm another who looks better in my forties than I did in my thirties with young kids. I carried about 2 stone extra pregnancy weight, was always tired, hair never done, no time for facials etc
Don't worry op, enjoy this time of not 'needing' to look good iyswim, kids don't care.

LillianGish · 11/03/2022 08:56

You need to embrace the moment - you will never again be as young as you are today. Don’t spend time fretting that you don’t look the way you did when you were 20, instead focus on looking the best you can now. Get a hair cut that suits your, wear clothes that suit you, lose weight if you must, but more importantly try not to gain anymore from where you are now and most importantly use sunscreen! If I had to say what the single biggest difference is between friends who look younger than they are and vice versa it’s sun damage and that’s something that’s easily avoidable nowadays. And I can absolutely promise you that 20 years down the line (which is where I am today) you will look back at your old photos and marvel and how wonderful you look and wonder why you didn’t appreciate it more.

anotherbrewplease · 11/03/2022 09:00

Lucky you - I was never good looking to start with.

At least I don't worry about it though

Gonnagetgoing · 11/03/2022 09:35

In my early 30s (no DC) I still looked good (most of the women in my family look much younger) but I felt any glow I had was slipping away.

I think it's just an age thing.

With parents with young children I have a few of these and some make an effort to look good, some not so much.

I did notice that in 20s I could get away with no foundation etc and look good, by late 20s I was looking tired and needed Touche Eclat, but I was going out and clubbing a lot.

I'm not in the camp of Botox and fillers (you do it if you want!) but I do think good skincare, good SPF (50), no smoking, good diet, yoga etc really helps me. Also a nice tinted moisturiser like Clinique City Block gives a bit of a glow and Una Brennan's Vit C Cleansing Oil is good for that too. My friend who's French and uses Caudalie products has amazing skin, and if you want to use a certain brand for that then good.

CornishGem1975 · 11/03/2022 09:44

I think I look better now at 42 than 22. I mean, I have a lot more wrinkles, I am fatter but I feel better about myself, probably make more effort to look nice. I've not had an 'extras' yet but I am 100% not against getting some botox etc in a few years to perk me up - I am starting to notice things I don't like!

Original poster
Samantha312 · 11/03/2022 11:58

Thank you everyone

OP posts:
EdwinaShearing · 11/03/2022 12:28

It’s probably just temporary exhaustion and will resolve if it’s own accord.

Easy tricks you could consider:

1.Drinking loads of water,

  1. Using a light foundation with illuminators matched to your skin tone (Boots do a great range)
  2. Try adjusting the colours you wear near your face to give you a glow. Start by selecting towels/scarves/whatever in four different colours - white or black, cream/beige, brown and a pastel colour. Hold each in turn up against your face in the mirror. Which one suits you best?
Black/white - go for bold primary colours - bottle green, crimson, cobalt blue Cream/beige - soft warm expensive colours - camel, peach, soft blue, light navy Pastel - summery cool pastels Brown - go for the colours in autumn leaves- brick red, yellow green, orange.

All the best!

EdwinaShearing · 11/03/2022 12:29

Whoops - shoot the spellchecker - its please not it’s!!

Esspee · 11/03/2022 12:35

I feel I was my most attractive in my mid twenties, around 40 and around 60. It was a sort of inner glow which people noticed and I felt wonderful.
I don’t use makeup which I feel makes a huge difference and I’ve been on HRT for over 30 years.

Thereisnolight · 11/03/2022 12:45

You’re tired and time-poor so you’ll improve on those.
But obviously some things will change as you age.
Own your age!! Honestly!! Never try to look or act younger than you are. If you spend your thirties trying to look 20 and your forties trying to look 30…see where I’m going with this? You’ll constantly miss your moment.

Keep fit and groomed and reasonably current. Clean teeth. Tiny bit of Botox if you must when you get the odd deep groove.

Then put your age and looks out of your mind and live your life.

5128gap · 11/03/2022 13:02

@Blackcatsocks

It's only gonna get worse because you're not getting any younger! May as well enjoy the way you look now.
Not for me. Pretty enough in my 20s, pretty awful at times in my late 30s and 40s due to weight gain and not enough time and money for myself. Pretty gorgeous in my 50s, and wouldn't go back to my younger looks if you paid me.
SartresSoul · 11/03/2022 13:05

I think it’s in your head tbh. I’m 29 and I recently became convinced I was starting to look old. I’ve realised it was in my head, I look fine.

Samantha312 · 11/03/2022 13:12

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

Thereisnolight · 11/03/2022 13:21

@Samantha312

Can somebody send me an email address so I can email a picture as I Am too scared to upload a picture on here. Somebody did this earlier for me and it really helped. Just think I need a little reassurance from other women for a confidence boost
Well either you’ll be stunning and we’ll think you’re fishing for compliments. Or you’ll be stunning and must have some body image issues which won’t be addressed by putting your photos online for strangers to see. Or you’ll be the opposite of stunning and we’ll be too polite to say. It wont be that helpful. It’ll just reinforce your obsession with how you look instead of developing a healthier attitude to yourself. Importance of positive mindset isn’t just a platitude, it really is true.
bruce43mydog · 11/03/2022 13:45

looks fade unfortunatly, its part of life. unless we go all hocus pocus and do a bette midler we will just have to stick to losing our looks, and accept our beauty from within. its not what you look like its who you are that counts to me.

SleeplessInEngland · 11/03/2022 13:48

It's probably not your age that makes you feel ugly but rather being knackered from parenting two kids all the time.

I'm not going to lie and say I'm better-looking now than ten/twenty years ago. I have physically, undeniably aged. But I feel a lot more assured in how I look, and hopefully that compensates.

VainAbigail · 11/03/2022 15:33

Samantha312
Can somebody send me an email address so I can email a picture as I Am too scared to upload a picture on here. Somebody did this earlier for me and it really helped. Just think I need a little reassurance from other women for a confidence boost

Don’t be odd.

MsMeNz · 11/03/2022 15:51

you can look good at any age, but look your age unless you are like one of thsoe 1 in a rthosuend with mega genetics. money helps though.

I look better at 40 than i did in my twenties, mainly because i can now afford to get my hair cut and coulred frequently and professinoaly, i know what suits me better now, i am 50lbs lighter, and i got my eyebrows and eyeliner tattoed in a flattering way (due to thyriod isssues my brows and eyelashes are sparse naturally).

i have crows feet though and my cheeks are a tad showing jowls so i dont look younger but i do look better imo. (ok stomach after 3 kids and major weight loss is saggy etc but look better with clothes on at least!)

TheZenOne22 · 11/03/2022 15:52

I think I look a lot better now in my early 40s than I did in my 20s because I am taking better care of myself rather than partying, binge drinking, eating crap and using cheap skincare products.

Sometimes changing something up and learning to love parts of yourself (even if other parts you're not happy with) can help.

Could you perhaps book in for a free make up consultation and personal shopper? They can help give you a nudge to something that makes you feel great.