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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

ANOTHER kids party invite ….

96 replies

Brighton5555 · 10/03/2022 15:39

So… experienced mum and dads how many is too many ? My child has just received another which means 5 in the next 4 weeks and 2 of them happen to be on the same day ( morning and Evening ) 🥱🥱😧

I’ve been to 3 already so far this year… I personally find them boring and some have been set far away or at 9am on a weekend and we have had parties at the same venues over and Over …

I finally declined one for first time last month but now we have another 5…

Did you attend every party ? Is it expected too? Did you let your child decide whether to go or did you ever say no.

OP posts:

WorraLiberty · 10/03/2022 18:36

@MrsBerthaRochester

Yabu. Its far worse when your child doesnt get any party invites like my eldest didnt as his moderate learning difficulties meant he never fitted in with his peers. Suck it up buttercup.

The OP doesn't have to suck it up though.

And no matter what someone's problem is, there'll always be someone else with a worse problem but it doesn't make it any less of a problem for the OP.

BettyOBarley · 10/03/2022 18:36

I tried not to turn any down, kids like everyone to come and it's kind of a mutual thing isn't it - people try to come to your kids party and you do the same for them. DD is in Yr3 now and it's died right down.

DaisyTheUnicorn · 10/03/2022 18:37

Absolutely go if you lr child wants to. There won't always be all class parties and its good fun for the child, social etc. The kids at school talk about it in the lead up to it and at school afterwards and its a bit sad to miss out on all that social bonding if they want to do it.

Lots of things about parenting isnt "fun" (nappies!?) But this is something for your child and they can be quite special memories. It can also be useful to get to know other parents which can be useful as they get older or for clocking whose who so that when playdates happen you "know" who they are at least.

Bunnycat101 · 10/03/2022 18:38

They’ve missed out on so much with covid we’ve tried to say yes to them unless we had other plans. It’s only for a few years when there are all class parties. Use it as time to get to know the other parents or free babysitting if you can drop and go.

Halllyup17 · 10/03/2022 18:38

It's not like these kids can space their birthdays out to suit the rest of the class. If my child wanted to go, I'd take them.

Deliaskis · 10/03/2022 18:50

We did all the ones we were available for that DD wanted to go to. It's really not for long and they've missed out on so much.

Mummyoflittledragon · 10/03/2022 18:51

I’d suck it up. It’s not forever. Dd was also invited to loads of parties when little. This is just another stage in their life and won’t last forever. With covid and extended lockdowns, I think it’s important to give children as much opportunity as possible to socialise.

Whoamireally22 · 10/03/2022 18:54

Yes at some point I’ve had a similar number of invitations and it did irritate me a lot. Money spent on presents plus zero time for our own family/couldn’t have an obligation free weekend etc etc. And after several years of that even children stopped being excited about attending a party. Be selective and celebrate only with close friends.

Jacketpotato84 · 10/03/2022 19:13

I ask my child if she wants to go to a party and she’s been to every one offered which about 7 since sept,
I agree they are only little once and make the most of their time with their friends.
Also so the birthday child gets to enjoy their party with all their friends, if every parent decided not to send their child to the party then that poor sod would have no one there!
Couldn’t do that to a kid on their birthday

mumpants · 10/03/2022 19:14

Yes I decline them if it's not a particularly close friend and at an inconvenient time. E.g one this weekend that was on Saturday evening for a boy my daughter has never mentioned. Pretty sure whole class have been invited so don't feel too bad. Saturday evening is pretty sacred. Also have declined invites that finish late (after 8) on a school night. She's only 5 and would be shattered the next morning.

Ridingoutthewaves · 10/03/2022 19:15

My daughter has possible sen and has been invited to 1 whole class party since she started school, now in her third year, so maybe be a bit more grateful your child is actually included and spare a though for kids who are excluded.

cherryonthecakes · 10/03/2022 19:26

I declined sometimes.

My kids went to nurseries and schools that were bigger so declining an invite to a whole class event when our kids don't play together is not going to have an effect.

If my kids went to very small schools then my attitude would be different as you wouldn't want nobody to attend.

Not replying then not showing is the rudest way to behave. I know that's not what you're suggesting but that would be unacceptable

Woollystockings · 10/03/2022 19:27

Whole class parties definitely not a thing where I am. Lots of children, the majority, don’t celebrate birthdays or have parties, or if they do, it’s just with family. However, for those that do have parties, I’d expect to drop off and leave by about age 5 - unless party was somewhere tricky to get to, which meant it wasn’t worth going home.

KatharinaRosalie · 10/03/2022 19:34

Sounds about normal. DD had 2 parties last weekend, DS has 2 this weekend,. Yes they normally go unless we already have plans.

madeittofriday · 10/03/2022 19:51

We've just had two years of parents desperately worried about their kids missing out on normal childhood activities.
How quickly we forget.
It is just wonderful to see kids back together playing and laughing.

It's an invitation not a summons as they say often on Mumsnet so you can decline as you wish. But if you're not busy I have no idea why you would do that, especially this year.

TakeMe2Insanity · 10/03/2022 19:54

My child is year 1 so no parties in reception we definitely make an effort to attend. The children have missed out on so much. Obviously its your decision.

00100001 · 10/03/2022 19:57

@Freddiefox "Why? What’s the problem with a party?"

Because they were too encroaching on our family time at the time. What felt like every bloody weekend, sometimes two in a day... Fuck that. Getting DS to some random kids party, getting some random child a gift, or attending a party of some little horror kid that didn't even like my lad, and having to rearrange meeting family, doing stuff etc.

No. Sorry, just isn't going to happen.

Stompythedinosaur · 10/03/2022 20:03

We went if we could. Obviously kids parties are boring for adults, but so are lots of things that dc really enjoy.

It's a good chance to make friends with ither parents.

TirednessButHappiness · 10/03/2022 20:05

I try to accept them all unless there’s a major clash. I’ll move plans around to accommodate them if I can. We have 3 in the next 2 weekends…

Doodar · 10/03/2022 21:02

@AnotherPoster

Dont stay if you dont want to. I left my confident 3 year old at a party once. She was the only child guest, the rest were the birthday boys' wider family. I think the mother was surprised I left my daughter but it never occurred to me to stay. I would have declined if I had known I had to stay tbh.

If you really dont feel you can leave your child then yes of course you can decline invitations. I agree 9 parties in 13 weeks is quite restrictive on your family social life.

ThirdElephant · 10/03/2022 21:08

I accept them all. I think they're valuable experiences for the kids, particularly given that they missed out on so much due to COVID.

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