Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

ANOTHER kids party invite ….

96 replies

Brighton5555 · 10/03/2022 15:39

So… experienced mum and dads how many is too many ? My child has just received another which means 5 in the next 4 weeks and 2 of them happen to be on the same day ( morning and Evening ) 🥱🥱😧

I’ve been to 3 already so far this year… I personally find them boring and some have been set far away or at 9am on a weekend and we have had parties at the same venues over and Over …

I finally declined one for first time last month but now we have another 5…

Did you attend every party ? Is it expected too? Did you let your child decide whether to go or did you ever say no.

OP posts:
DizzySquirrel90 · 10/03/2022 16:13

I was never invited to parties as I was bullied, so it's good that your child is being invited

DelurkingAJ · 10/03/2022 16:15

I’ll echo other posters…this year is unusual. DS2 is having a whole class party because he missed two parties due to lockdowns. We might have done one in YR before but are now doing it in Y1 and talking to other Mums I. His class lots are doing them for this reason.

It’s nearly always the same kids who are missing and I do feel for them a little…DS2 said that one of them was sad about it. Of course, some will miss one or two because of other activities (DS1 missed the very first one he was invited to because it was my DDad’s memorial service).

Presents, couldn’t care less if a child comes without one…we’ll do thank yous but certainly won’t notice if we’re minus a few!

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 10/03/2022 16:15

How old are there? Are we talking nursery age?

Retrievemysanity · 10/03/2022 16:16

I only ever took DD to her close friends’ parties otherwise it eats too much into family time. Can see why reception age it’s nice to have the whole class but anything over that is unnecessary in my opinion. Someone once told me they invited everyone so their child would get more presents. Ridiculous.

SheWoreYellow · 10/03/2022 16:17

@GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing

How old are there? Are we talking nursery age?
I guess so, if not reception.

I think if they are stopping you doing things as a family that you want to do, then it’s ok to say not sometimes.

Can you do a swap, where you and another parent both keep an eye on each other’s child - take a party each?

3ormoredogs · 10/03/2022 16:18

I always try and go.

Imagine if it was your child and nobody turned up. It guilts me into attending Blush

Katya213 · 10/03/2022 16:19

My child goes to them all! She’s an only child so loves the company!

Notwithittoday · 10/03/2022 16:20

Go to as many as possible as no be grateful your child’s got an invite. People are just making up for lost time. It will taper off from y2

nearlyspringyay · 10/03/2022 16:25

It tapers off massively from Y2. I'd go to what we could but if it meant missing a paid for hobby (dance, riding) they missed the party unless it was a best mate.

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 10/03/2022 16:27

@DizzySquirrel90

I was never invited to parties as I was bullied, so it's good that your child is being invited
💐 My dd always invites the whole class to her own children’s parties, and always insisted on it as a child - she wouldn’t leave anyone out.

It’s decades ago now, but I still remember the little boy who said, ‘ Thank you for inviting me to your party, Helen - nobody else does.’ 😥
(Not her real name)

Buttercream22 · 10/03/2022 16:29

Yes, I take my daughter to everyone unless we have a prior engagement. She's in Year 1, so imagine next year they maybe few and far between.

megletthesecond · 10/03/2022 16:29

Yabu. We went to everything, even if it did mean the weekends were a bit nuts. I liked catching up with other parents.

Momicrone · 10/03/2022 16:30

Jeez, what a fun sponge

phoenixrosehere · 10/03/2022 16:32

I definitely don’t go to every party. I send a text of an apology if there is a phone number and give the parent a gift for their child to open at the party when I see them at school.

Our oldest son is autistic so it’s lovely he is invited but there are also many places he can’t handle due to his sensitivity.

Unsureaboutit9 · 10/03/2022 16:32

If you don’t have other plans I’d go, who cares if you find it boring, it’s not for you! And it doesn’t last forever.

Lemonpink88 · 10/03/2022 16:34

My kids are both nursery age, wev had a party most weekends this year & have attended all of those unless it’s clashed with something wev had booked in once. My children really enjoy them & Iv got to know lots of other parents I probably wouldn’t of normally got to meet. Me & my dh take turns if he’s not working

Freddiefox · 10/03/2022 16:34

@00100001

Pfffft mine never went to all of them. We often conveniently had other things booked in.
Why? What’s the problem with a party?
AnotherPoster · 10/03/2022 16:36

Dont stay if you dont want to. I left my confident 3 year old at a party once. She was the only child guest, the rest were the birthday boys' wider family. I think the mother was surprised I left my daughter but it never occurred to me to stay. I would have declined if I had known I had to stay tbh.

If you really dont feel you can leave your child then yes of course you can decline invitations. I agree 9 parties in 13 weeks is quite restrictive on your family social life.

WinniesHunny · 10/03/2022 16:38

Surely kids activities are meant to be boring for adults. Don't have them if you don't want to do what you have to do.

minipie · 10/03/2022 16:38

If your child enjoys them and is really little (nursery/reception) so can’t be dropped then I think you suck it up and go.

Maybe you will make friends with some of the other parents? A lot of my friends now are the parents from the DCs’ nursery - these are friendships forged in the crucible of small child party hell…

Comefromaway · 10/03/2022 16:41

Be thankful that you don’t have a neurodiverse child that gets upset because they never get invited to a party.

TheWayTheLightFalls · 10/03/2022 16:49

I left my confident 3 year old at a party once. She was the only child guest, the rest were the birthday boys' wider family. I think the mother was surprised I left my daughter but it never occurred to me to stay.

Jesus, I can see the MN thread from here! Grin

FilthyforFirth · 10/03/2022 16:54

I wonder if you are at our school?! DS has 3 this weekend, one tomorrow and 2 on Sat! I think it is lovely and assume will tail off after reception.

TheSoapyFrog · 10/03/2022 16:55

My son has never not wanted to go to a party and so I always take him. He's nearly 8 now so we've reached the stage where parents aren't expected to wait around - just dump and run.

Tigofigo · 10/03/2022 16:56

@Comefromaway

Be thankful that you don’t have a neurodiverse child that gets upset because they never get invited to a party.
And on the rare occasions they DO get invited you have to stay and they spend most of the time clinging to you