Hi guys,
Just looking for a bit of advice please. I fell pregnant unexpectedly (told I couldn't have children so we eased our contraception) when I was 25. I was not long out of University and I had just started my first job in my new career. I didn't live with my boyfriend, he was still studying for his Masters Degree and I was house sharing with friends in a different city.
It came as a huge shock, we literally weren't in a position to have a baby and we just didn't know what the right course of action was for us. So I booked an appointment with my GP to go and talk it through with them with my boyfriend in tow, and hopefully get some information to help us.
At the appointment the GP refused to talk to us about it, she told me that most people have unplanned babies and that we just needed to get on with it, and in 10 years time we'd look back and be glad we kept the baby. I explained that I had only just started a job and my boyfriend had no job because he was still studying full time, and she waved it away and said in 10 years time we'd financially be fine and what a ridiculous reason not to have a baby. She looked me in the eye and said, I won't support an abortion.
It was a small rural practice and she didn't offer to let me see another GP who might not be so opinionated (I didn't even know that was an option) and we walked away with a feeling of embarrassment and tails between our legs. I literally felt that I'd been told off by a parent and I felt ashamed of myself for being so selfish. We looked at each other and said "I guess we're keeping it then." We had no idea there was other support we could access ourselves, she didn't tell us anything.
Now our son is now a strapping 11 year old and of course I wouldn't be without him, but cannot also deny that this last decade has been extremely difficult for us. We were not financially viable for years and without the help of our families we quite frankly wouldn't have been able to meet all our financial needs and put food on the table.
My boyfriend and I moved in together just before our son was born. He still had no job so I had just 2 months off before returning to work. I didn't qualify for MAT leave because I fell pregnant too early into the job, so I missed out on much of that precious time which I feel really sad about even now. The stresses and strains of raising a child in a situation where no matter what you do, it's not enough money wise is definitely not the way I wanted to raise a child.
Now I want to make it very clear, I don't regret having him. Even if 11/12 years on, we are still struggling and we're not looking back and laughing at the past. But I now realise how horrifically we were treated by the GP. I'm wondering if I should look into making a formal complain. I'm not looking for compensation, that would devalue my son's existence, but just to make some noise to ensure that another couple who naively go to talk to their GP are treated fairly and impartially, and given all the options and information available before making an informed choice.
If I was to make a complaint, does anyone have any advice as to how I should go about it? I obviously know the GP and practice (although I'm no longer a patient there), but it was a significant period of time ago. Has too much time passed? Should I just let it go? What do you think?