To think he didn't need to buy his ex a present?

[ofifce12]

My boyfriend and I have been together for 7 months. We fell in love quickly, he has a young child through a casual relationship. He has said he needs time to tell the mother of his child about us as she would be upset and he's scared she will cut him off from the child.

I have told him its not fair on both of us, he has said they don't really get on but he tries for the sake of their child. He lives about an hour away from his daughter, he went to collect her and came back. I went over when she was asleep, and a text popped up from her thanking him for buying her favourite cakes. I opened the message and she said she would love these particular cakes, he said no its too far but he actually travelled 7 miles in the opposite direction to get her a box of these expensive cakes and then surprise her.

I confronted him about it but he said it wasn't a romantic gesture he just wants them to get along. aibu to think he did not need to do this

You don't trust him, he doesn't know you're invading his privacy. I really don't think that you two are a good fit. His priority is his daughter and obviously HE thinks it's worth going out of his way for the mother of his child. You don't like that. His priority will not change.

Context is key here.

On the face of it the gesture isn't odd . My exdh will buy me birthday and Christmas presents as I will him. We work very hard to create a positive co parenting relationship in front of DC. It would be a very silly partner of either of ours to get fussy about it. The Co parenting and perspective to the dc is more important than anyone else's insecurities (in fairness I have a dp who thinks it's great).

However.....he's keeping you a secret which is far more telling and the context makes all of his behaviour sus. Unless there is abuse on either side , keeping a new partner secret is childish and tells you a huge amount about a person. Ultimately its not something I could ever come back from.