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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Boyfriend problem

75 replies

LillyPJ · 09/03/2022 23:25

My long distance partner is considering moving back to his home town over 3 hours away, which would make our relationship unviable. (I currently see him about once every 3 weeks for several days at a time.) He suddenly told me that in order to decide whether he'd be ok moving to a new area where he'd know nobody, he wanted to have no contact with his current friends (including me) for a week or two. We are now 3 days in, and I'm feeling annoyed! He didn't ask or discuss this with me beforehand. We used to chat on the phone at least once every day and the sudden silence is deafening. Worse - I feel frustrated that I can't tell him how I feel about it! I'm sure he thinks this is a rational way to help him decide. Am I being unreasonable in feeling hurt, annoyed and angry?

OP posts:
Shuffleuplove · 09/03/2022 23:30

Holy shit.

He’s just ended your relationship but didn’t ACTUALLY have the conversation. How awful! I’m so sorry!

Shuffleuplove · 09/03/2022 23:31

Why can’t you tell him how you feel?

MrJollyLivesNextDoor · 09/03/2022 23:32

Block the twat

AtrociousCircumstance · 09/03/2022 23:33

Wow. That’s appalling. What a gross combination of entitled, insensitive, selfish and crass on his part.

You’ve been treated so badly here - please see it for what it is, and end things with him.

springbreak22 · 09/03/2022 23:37

He has met someone ekes

springbreak22 · 09/03/2022 23:38

*else

HeddaGarbled · 09/03/2022 23:42

I don’t believe him.

WorraLiberty · 09/03/2022 23:45

He's dumped you but hasn't had the balls to tell you.

Either that or he's keeping his options open.

Has he blocked you? If not, tell him exactly how angry you are and call him out on his true intentions.

StopStartStop · 09/03/2022 23:46

Not a boyfriend. Not even a friend. Block.

Chilesstanton · 09/03/2022 23:47

A. This sounds like utter bollocks.

  1. Send him a text for when he resurfaces letting him know you decided to move too, out of wankerville. No forwarding address.
CookieMunch · 09/03/2022 23:57

I suspect he’s with someone else that’s why he can’t have contact with you. Sorry OP. Even if you give him the benefit of the doubt on that, you can’t just not speak to your partner when you’re in a relationship its totally disrespectful and shows a deep lack of care for your partner. Also why does he think he gets to call all the shots on when you communicate without even consulting you? Is the relationship often completely on his terms? You really need to dump him and move on. This is quite a stunt he’s pulled on you!

Joystir59 · 10/03/2022 00:25

I agree with all previous posts. He's ended it without the balls to tell you so. I bet he's with someone else. So sorry OP

Notimeforaname · 10/03/2022 02:38

Sounds like total bullshit. That's not the reason.

Weatherwax13 · 10/03/2022 02:45

I strongly suspect he's seeing someone else and hasn't the guts to tell you (or wants to give her a test run and run back to you if he changes his mind).
Sorry OP but it sounds v dodgy

PiperPosey · 10/03/2022 03:01

whether he'd be ok moving to a new area where he'd know nobody

UHMMMMMM he's moving to his hometown and he doesn't no anyone? Think about it.

Graphista · 10/03/2022 03:23

Sounds like he's breaking up with you in stages!

I'd be deciding for him as in "goodbye"!

"out of wankerville. No forwarding address."Grin

Monty27 · 10/03/2022 04:36

I'm not sure he was ever in a relationship with you if there was no discussion. I can't see a future either and I don't think he does.
Sorry OP you've wasted your time.
Move on.

Clumsyvolcano · 10/03/2022 04:52

His story isn’t the slightest bit convincing, sorry. Doesn’t make sense.

Surely if he was somewhere where he didn’t know anybody he should want to keep in touch with you at least because you’re long distance anyway, and he might not feel so lonely. You mainly talk on the phone anyway so location has nothing to do with it.

He’s breaking up with you without telling you.

Imperfectp3rf3ction · 10/03/2022 05:31

Emmm.... nope makes zero sense at all tbh amd if he can happy dissappear for a couple of weeks I don't think there even is a relationship =/ why can't you tell him has he locked his phone in a box ?? =S

CloseYourEyesAndSee · 10/03/2022 05:37

This behaviour is literally unfathomable unless he's either deciding whether to break up with you or is cheating on you. So sorry.

Catflapkitkat · 10/03/2022 05:46

Spineless

Cremeeggseasonx · 10/03/2022 06:01

There's no future for you if he Is not factoring you in. Its not fair on you. Putting distance between you like this will only break the relationship. You won't want to settle for a future like this long term. Itl be lonely. I'd have a chat with him.

Shoxfordian · 10/03/2022 06:27

He’s dumped you but not told you about it

CowsAreNotGreen · 10/03/2022 06:32

Are you sure he's not in another relationship?!

This all sounds a bit odd. I suggest you don't respond if he tries to contact you after his time away.

Staryflight445 · 10/03/2022 06:46

More importantly- why would you accept this and wait for him to resurface?