Do you think this should have been allowed (young lad going to Ukraine)?

[Chocolattay]

A 19 year old lad near me has gone to fight in Ukraine. He has no prior military experience, has never left the country before and the mother is understandably beside herself.

www.itv.com/news/granada/2022-03-08/call-of-duty-obsessed-teenager-fighting-russia-with-no-experience

She feels this shouldn’t have been allowed. Obviously as a worried mother she would say that but it’s got me wondering. I am surprised he was allowed to go, tbf.

I suppose my AIBU is whether you feel somebody should step in when there’s people with no military experience trying to go, or whether they are adults who should be left to it? After all it’s their prerogative isn’t it?

Actually quite a few paramedics get ptsd too.
And I have some nightmare memories from my previous career that keep me awake.
Maybe it just depends how sensitive you can be to trauma affecting you.

@Gemmathecat

Really interesting to see how many mumsnetters fought in the First World War

My grandfather fought in the first world war, he is British and was stationed in India, he lived until he was nearly 100 (died in 1982 when I was 20) He told me lots of tales about the war but he would never answer the question of whether he killed anyone (he was a machine gunner) and lost both brothers in the same war. He had no language barriers, despite not speaking anything but English.

I listened to a podcast some years ago about research in young brains making risk based decisions. The conclusion was that young men don't necessarily underestimate the risks involved, but do massively overestimate the potential benefits. My DH calls it "chasing the story", doing the risky thing because the aim is a good tale down the pub for years after.

Young British soldiers are being posted to the Polish border to assist with the refugees so a young inexperienced man like him may be posted to something similar. Obviously the mother must be really concerned but he's trying to do the right thing and I'd have to admire him for it.

l don't think he is doing himself proud.
l am totally anti war, there are never any winners when it comes down to war, history has taught us nothing.
Worst senario is he will get killed, if if gets injured and becomes disabled nobody will want to know, its an absolute disgrace the lack of care that is shown towards our ex soldiers, his mums life will then become a full time carer for him, never mind the MH issues suffered years after the war has ended. How can anyone be so stupid to applaud a
young man walking into that kind of situation ?

Total stupidity and a danger to others around him if he has no military experience Being influenced because he playsby Call of duty smacks of immaturity. His poor mum.

he's trying to do the right thing and I'd have to admire him for it.

I genuinely don’t understand this. He is not trying to do the right thing. It is clearly the wrong thing to do - immoral and unethical. The damage he could do to the Ukrainian effort. Just so he can go and play games?

Terrifying...when these UK lads are caught or when the Russians get wind of British fighting in Ukraine....we all know what will happen.

Thanks very much 'Jamie, video game obsessed 19 year old with no military experience'

@GreenWhiteViolet

He's nineteen years old, not a child - the article really seems to be infantilising him. Spelling mistakes don't make you a child. Nor does making a bad or ill-informed decision.

I don't agree with what he's done and of course his mother is worried but there are plenty of men and women younger than him in Ukraine who will be fighting.

Just because the government label young people as adults at 18, the reality is that most 18 to at least 24s are not really adults in the sense of what it really means being an adult. Maybe it’s the western culture because when my 18 year old brother at the time was messing up with college, my mother was still able to send him abroad to boarding school without his say so. He is a little older now and better behaved.

I wouldn’t like it, OP. And if I had a child at that age, I would find a way to stop it.

@SommerTen

I've just met so many people drinking their lives away because of ptsd from military service

I've no doubt at all that been involved in any capacity will leave very many people scarred for life but what happens if no one steps up?

Who is supposed to have stopped him? The airline flying him to Poland? Since when do they quiz passengers on onwards plans.

Ukraine aren’t going to turn him away. They don’t care if people don’t have any experience - they will train them up. Of course it’s worrying but he’s an adult and he will most likely be back before long

Of course it's not the right thing. He's not trained. He has no expertise. He would just become someone that would take up medical supplies, need rescuing or a costly process of repatriating a body because no insurer would pay out.

If he wanted to help he could have done something constructive. This is just making a mess for someone to have to sort out.

@cabansunset

I agree it’s scary for the lads as individuals if caught but I don’t think Putin will escalate towards U.K. over lone wolves going over to fight. He’ll be bothered if we send troops over, but I don’t think he’s particularly threatened by Jamie from Warrington.

@Onlyforcake

Of course it's not the right thing. He's not trained. He has no expertise. He would just become someone that would take up medical supplies, need rescuing or a costly process of repatriating a body because no insurer would pay out. If he wanted to help he could have done something constructive. This is just making a mess for someone to have to sort out.

Why has the Ukrainian President asked for people exactly like him to go then?

I daresay they would prefer support from a well trained army, but no one's offering that and they don't have an unlimited one of their own

He sounds very naive. His mother says he text her saying “It’s okay, I’ve got my army cadet uniform”.

but what happens if no one steps up?

There’s a difference between stepping up and being in the way.

@Shipoftheseus

but what happens if no one steps up?

There’s a difference between stepping up and being in the way.

But they're asking for this kind of help? They don't think he will be in the way

He will be sent back. The international legion, as I understand, accepts only people with prior experience, and after security clearance (which he is unlikely to pass).
He might be asked to help in the back office or with the refugee effort though.

Weren't some young men prosecuted for travelling and fighting against Isis?

Bet he wouldn't have gone to Syria.

Are there places to sign up to go and help with admin work/refugees? I have a baby and obviously am not considering it but it’s something I’d probably have considered at 19. If so this should be pushed.

I have a family member who is going to a neighbouring country to help with aid. I couldn't be prouder

@Chocolattay

Are there places to sign up to go and help with admin work/refugees? I have a baby and obviously am not considering it but it’s something I’d probably have considered at 19. If so this should be pushed.

Even in London, if you're so inclined.

@Marmelace

Just take a look at previous World wars and how young men rushed at first to join up and hailed as heroes.

Both my grandfathers enlisted underage for WWI. They couldn't wait to go. Then they both enlisted for WWII, granny wasn't impressed, she said too young for one war and too old for the next.

I don't get it but maybe I'm too old to get that rush of blood or adrenaline or whatever.

"I don't get it but maybe I'm too old to get that rush of blood or adrenaline or whatever"

It is sort of that, and it isn't. In the army you're not fighting for politicians, your fighting for the person standing next to you. Like the Ukrainians are. They don't want to be taken over.

I know many on here are anti thatcher but when Argentina invaded the falklands and the whole world thought "well, that's that then" one US tv network claimed the sun had set on another part of our empire as is that was it. Ummmmm NO a dictator will NOT invade our country, albeit a little island of mostly sheep!

vm.tiktok.com/ZMLywto4J/?k=1