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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask how the hell to feel good at a Spa?

57 replies

BeatieBourke · 08/03/2022 22:42

I know this is the very definition of a 'first world problem'.

In May I reach a big life milestone, a big achievement for me and the culmination of lots of work. I month or so ago DH and I, very out of character, booked a night at a v fancy (not glam fancy, but classy) Spa to celebrate, relax, draw a line under all the sleepless nights, stress and effort of the last few years and just...breathe a bit.

We're not Spa people. I am not a Spa person. I don't do treatments. Never get my nails done, cut my own hair, barely shave my legs for 8 months of the year! I've set foot in a beauty salon maybe three times in my life (only one of those wasn't cringey). I cleanse and moisturize, brush my teeth, occasionally use body lotion. We live in a very rural place and are usually up a mountain or surrounded by dogs, kids and mud.

I thought it was a good idea at the time. I mostly wanted to slosh around like a happy hippo in a warm pool, have a nice dinner and a big sleep. Ut
But now I'm getting a bit preoccupied that I'll feel like like fish out of water: that "they" (the staff? other guests?) will take one look at me and know I don't belong there. But I really want this tiny slice of rare self indulgence.

So my question is, what would you advise I do to get ready for and feel good at this lovely Spa? I'm a size 16 with massive boobs. Where do I find nice swimwear? Should I get a bikini wax? What products will turn my blotchy never-see-the-light-of-day legs into something that won't scare the locals? And what are the rules of a Spa? Do I wear make up (this I am a bit more familiar with)? Will they supply flip flops (I've never owned a pair)? Will everyone laugh at me??

What are the basic staples you would do before going away for a night like this? Or should I just accept I'll look like a fat farmer on day release, cancel and use the money to replaster the kitchen?

HELP!!!

OP posts:
toots111 · 08/03/2022 22:46

To be honest, when I go to a spa I never have treatments. I usually do as you say, splash around like a hippo, go in the sauna, steam room, drink some fizz, lie on a sun lounger by the pool reading my book. And repeat. Honestly you just have to do what makes you comfortable. Also no one cares what anyone else looks like! So don’t worry about that. Have an awesome time.

ProfFloss · 08/03/2022 22:51

I’m not a spa goer but, like you, we fancied a treat after dealing with some pretty tough times.
We had treatments, swam a little, jacuzzi, steam room, sleep, reading, relaxation, fancy dinner, great sleep (and the rest). Just the most fabulous weekend.
No one cares what you look like. We got robes and flip flops. No make up in the spa.
It was lovely and I want to go again. Enjoy!

Returnoftheowl · 08/03/2022 22:53

Some places supply flip-flops, some don't. Check their website to see if it gives any clues, if not then pack a pair just in case.
I wouldn't wear make up as it will either come off in the pool or the steam rooms.
No one is really looking at anyone else in a spa, everyone is just there to try and relax themselves.

Weepingwillows12 · 08/03/2022 22:56

Honestly most spa goers are just normal middle age women in my experience. Unless you go tothe new trendy spa. Do nothing special except maybe shave. At least that's all I bother to do. Check the policy on flip flops. It will be clear as many charge if you don't have them.

Just go and relax.

Ohmygodyesthatsit · 08/03/2022 23:09

I used to work as a therapist in various spas (have my own holistic salon now) i have never heard therapists judge. And spas are full of very normal middle aged ladies no one remotely cares what you look like, that is not the vibe at spas at all.

beetuljoos · 08/03/2022 23:13

People of all sizes go to spas and no one cares one bit. No one wears makeup either.

dipdye · 08/03/2022 23:16

Spas are the most unrelaxing places ever! Naked, with strangers

Shock

Du no op, just try and enjoy it, you've spent the money now

dipdye · 08/03/2022 23:16

*dunno op

doadeer · 08/03/2022 23:17

I've been to loads of spas. It's never full of super glamorous Hollywood women. Just normal looking people of all sizes.

To be honest I would never not have a treatment as a massage is the best bit for me.

I will always allow 1.5-2 hrs before treatment to swim, use facilities then I sauna for a bit and make sure I'm dry. So lie and read my book on lounger before massage.

Most have a snug room or similar you go in after your massage. I don't like to get wet again as I like the smell of the oils.

I don't do any special prep... Probably check my bikini line and that my nail varnish isn't a mess.

I don't wear make up but you can if it makes you more comfortable - I usually add some hair oil for the sauna - but not if I'm planning to swim properly.

They usually provide a robe and slippers.

Hope you enjoy it!

AnotherDelphinium · 08/03/2022 23:17

Take a book or two. Don’t wear makeup. Don’t worry about your legs/bikini wax unless you want to. I try and remember to do my armpits but that’s a personal preference Grin

When you arrive they’ll ask you if you’ve been before/would like a tour. Take it up and tell them you’ve not been to a spa before so please explain everything, and they will.

You’ll have a lovely time sloshing and eating and wonder how it went so quickly!

dreamygirl25 · 08/03/2022 23:24

If you have a treatment, you could take a spare dry swimsuit to change into before you go for it. Or have the treatment before you go in the pool/jacuzzi. If you have massage, expect them to pull your swimsuit down enough to show the top of your bottom (or it feels like it does) and they tuck a towel there. Don't let that out you off, because it's so nice to have a massage but it was something I didn't expect first time!

Skinnytailedsquirrel · 08/03/2022 23:25

I still can't understand what a spa actually is. What it sounds like it is, is not very appealing.

DoubleTweenQueen · 08/03/2022 23:27

It's for you to relax. You walk around in your Ribe and slippers, have a swim, a massage always a good idea, nice lunch in your Ribe, manicure & pedicure if you like. Take a good book and find a lounger somewhere you can order afternoon tea.
They're just people, all doing the same thing. All shapes & sizes. Don't fret, just go and enjoy.

DoubleTweenQueen · 08/03/2022 23:29

*robe, strange autocorrect

ruthieness · 08/03/2022 23:30

My best advice is to take hair conditioner or hair mask and put it on your hair in the sauna - works very well!!

Claireshh · 08/03/2022 23:34

All of the above. If you have a big budget for swimwear then miraclesuit are amazing. I have one that has mesh panels, sounds weird but is really lovely. Other place is one from figleaves which is now party of simply be.

doadeer · 08/03/2022 23:34

@Skinnytailedsquirrel

I still can't understand what a spa actually is. What it sounds like it is, is not very appealing.
A dim lit swimming pool with a jaccuzi, steam room, sauna. It's warm. You lie on a lounger and relax. Maybe have a massage.

Greeks, Turkish and Romans were doing it thousands of years ago!

Svalberg · 08/03/2022 23:41

The spa that I go to says not to shave legs or things within 24 hours of going in the salt floatation pools. A 2nd costume is a very good idea!

Calandor · 08/03/2022 23:45

Nobody will care, nobody will look at you and the staff will just check in every so often and then leave you alone.

Spas are very chill and you're left to... we'll, relax!

Calandor · 08/03/2022 23:47

@dipdye

Spas are the most unrelaxing places ever! Naked, with strangers Shock

Du no op, just try and enjoy it, you've spent the money now

Why are you naked at the spa?? You wear a bikini or swimsuit at every one I've been to.
Calandor · 08/03/2022 23:49

@Skinnytailedsquirrel

I still can't understand what a spa actually is. What it sounds like it is, is not very appealing.
A large space usually with a hot pool, cold pool, chill out area, sauna, steam room, tea and drinks, jacuzzi. Sometimes with a hammam, restaurant and plunge pool. Plus facials, massages etc available.
Pantsomime · 09/03/2022 00:00

2 swimsuits, putting a wet one back on after a treatment to go back to the pool is enough to pull a muscle and unrelax you. Spare hair bobbles, I always loose mine. A water bottle, some spas have stopped supplying disposable cups at the fountains. Book ahead if there are exercise classes. Perhaps a waterproof bag if taking magazines, glasses, phone etc down from your room into the spa. Don’t wear makeup, just do armpits and bikini line, plus nails. Enjoy

GADDay · 09/03/2022 00:11

Spas are amazing. I have been to many.

Nobody gives a hoot what you look like. For the poster who mentioned being naked - that's just not true. I reckon the only thing that might raise a few eyebrows is if you wander around in the nude.

I would take a watch so you can keep an eye on the time for booked treatments without having to rely on your phone. Second the poster who said not to shave on the day - it can be murder if any of the pools are salty. Bikini, armpits, legs.

Easy treatments for a first timer facial, manicure, pedicure. You stay in your robe and it feels incredible.

Read, swim, have treatments. Eat lovely food, sit quietly with a glass of bubbles or lovely cup of tea. Leave the world behind for a few hours.

Have fun.

TwinkleToesStrikesAgain · 09/03/2022 00:13

Landsend sometimes have good swimming costumes and separates, with extra support etc

SignOnTheWindow · 09/03/2022 00:17

The spa near me is mostly full of other middle aged women like me. I'd say more of us are on the plump side than not, if it makes you feel better!

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