To ask how the hell to feel good at a Spa?

[BeatieBourke]

I know this is the very definition of a 'first world problem'.

In May I reach a big life milestone, a big achievement for me and the culmination of lots of work. I month or so ago DH and I, very out of character, booked a night at a v fancy (not glam fancy, but classy) Spa to celebrate, relax, draw a line under all the sleepless nights, stress and effort of the last few years and just...breathe a bit.

We're not Spa people. I am not a Spa person. I don't do treatments. Never get my nails done, cut my own hair, barely shave my legs for 8 months of the year! I've set foot in a beauty salon maybe three times in my life (only one of those wasn't cringey). I cleanse and moisturize, brush my teeth, occasionally use body lotion. We live in a very rural place and are usually up a mountain or surrounded by dogs, kids and mud.

I thought it was a good idea at the time. I mostly wanted to slosh around like a happy hippo in a warm pool, have a nice dinner and a big sleep. Ut
But now I'm getting a bit preoccupied that I'll feel like like fish out of water: that "they" (the staff? other guests?) will take one look at me and know I don't belong there. But I really want this tiny slice of rare self indulgence.

So my question is, what would you advise I do to get ready for and feel good at this lovely Spa? I'm a size 16 with massive boobs. Where do I find nice swimwear? Should I get a bikini wax? What products will turn my blotchy never-see-the-light-of-day legs into something that won't scare the locals? And what are the rules of a Spa? Do I wear make up (this I am a bit more familiar with)? Will they supply flip flops (I've never owned a pair)? Will everyone laugh at me??

What are the basic staples you would do before going away for a night like this? Or should I just accept I'll look like a fat farmer on day release, cancel and use the money to replaster the kitchen?

HELP!!!

I've just come back from a relaxing break in a good 'destination' Spa. There were loads of couples there, a few male couples and lots of groups of women.
I'm not keen on massages but I had a facial, pedicure and hand treatment as part of my package.
Everyone is in towelling robes and flip flops, you can wear them at all meals too if you want. I have never seen anyone wandering around naked, swimwear at least is obligatory.
The food is good and everything is marked as light diet, medium light or normal. Cakes, scones and sandwiches/snacks are available in the cafés and bars all day anyway. Alcohol too.
No-one will be looking at you, everyone has wet hair at least some of the time and people are most definitely all shapes and sizes. I took too much makeup and didn't use it except for the day I left.
The pools and thermal spa areas are lovely. You can just drift around all day or be as active as you like in the gym etc.

I hope you have a lovely relaxing time.

I just wanted to add that where I go the staff are absolutely, genuinely lovely.

Oo I do spa nights quite a lot and don’t really prepare as such, I make sure I’ve shaved my legs, armpits and bikini line. Make sure my toes are painted and tie my hair up. I tend to wear swimsuits although I know some wear bikinis. I don’t have treatments but weirdly I tend to just cleanse and moisturise my face after being in the steam room and it helps. Bring a book and drink what you want. Have a lovely time.

I think I'm less glam than you, OP. I basically never wear makeup. I don't shave my legs or arm pits. And I'm very overweight too.

I love spas.

I haven't found people judge in general, though occasionally you'll get a group of young glam women together who seem to think they're still at school but there's normally a wide range of people (well, women, way fewer men) and the rest of them will all think someone being rude about others guests is the one that doesn't belong. The vast majority of people are there to spend time with the group they came with and won't be bothering anyone else at all.

Despite not normally being one to bother with how I look, I do like treatments. I like massages - really relaxing and can have lasting impact. And, oddly, I really like pedicures and getting my toes painted a bright colour. Personally, I don't like facials or manicures but I only found out by trying them. Mainly I like wallowing in the pools, trying out the icy plunge pool and then running back to the steam room, giggling with whoever I've come with about the impact of chromotherapy in the sauna and sitting reading or chatting next to the pool with a glass of champagne.

I buy swimming costumes online. I get a few and send back the ones I don't want. In the last 15 years I could count on one hand the number of swimming costumes that would fit me that I've liked in stores. I take my own slip on sandals because I hate thongs anyway and some places don't have any. You can always call to check, though. I have shaved my bikini line when I've been recently (now that age has made things thin out but spread) - it's the one bit of hair I've felt self-conscious about. But I don't care about my dazzlingly white legs, normally plenty of other people don't seem to have seen much sun.

I would suggest, if you colour your hair, don't do it just before you go. A friend I went with once felt obliged to surreptitiously hide towels she used when they kept coming away from her head stained red.

Exactly what @toots111said! Just do what you enjoy, it’s your time to relax.

You'll be absolutely fine. There's every type of person at a Spa! Yep, you'll get young lean model types but you also get Grandma's and Granddaughters, big burly business men, exhausted Mum's looking for a break and everything else in between. Everyone looks frizzy haired, blotchy and red cheeked after being in the pool/sauna in the end.

Just get a glass of prosecco when you arrive for some Dutch courage if necessary and enjoy!

I'd say no to make-up though. Even water proof mascara doesn't hold up against the humidity. Don't worry about your legs. Just give them, and another bits a quick shave the night before. It you really want to go all out clip your toenails and paint them a colour - then you're all done! Don't do fake tan! Chances are it will go blotchy and that is noticeable. It's the heat, the chlorine, the steam rooms, plus any treatments - fake tan is always a disaster.

Alot of places provide robes and slippers but you could always call ahead to check.

I used to stay in a spa hotel when visiting an elderly relative, in the days when I earned good money. Never had treatments ( except a facial once) as don’t like the idea of a stranger touching me. It was a nice place to relax in the pool, jacuzzi and steam room. And there’s something about a nice big hotel bedroom all to myself.
Honestly , don’t stress about it. Order yourself a pair of flip flops or sliders, quick shave of your legs and you’re good to go. I too live a low maintenance, fields , mud and dogs life so understand how you feel.

Agree with shave your legs and go!!!

I’m a member of a spa, I go to swim mostly. Pale and plump here, like most of the other members.

They’ll probably supply flip flops and a robe.

I wouldn’t fake tan personally but many do including some regulars so it must be ok in broad terms.

Speedo do nice shaping costumes, size up, not sure how they work with big boobs.

You’re going to have a great time OP, don’t worry. Just to what you want to do while you’re there. My tips:

See if you can get someone to show you round/ give you a tour when you arrive.

Pre book any treatments for at the end of the day after you’ve done all your swimming so you can take your wet costume off and not put it on again. Personally I prefer a facial and a pedicure as I find massages a bit hit and miss.

Try everything! I love a good steam room - but stay hydrated and be careful moving from hot to cold.

Bring flip flops in case they don’t provide slippers.

No need for makeup when you go and hair tied up. Have fun and enjoy the experience!

The spa website/welcome email should give you instructions about flip flops. They used to be provided but when I went to one some time in covid (but not during a strict restrictions period) they asked you to bring your own or you could buy theirs for not very much and keep them.

I go once or twice a year and have never had a treatment and never notice other guests unless they annoy me by constantly talking loudly or posing on their phones.

I just laze around in all the bubbly water and steam rooms, read, have a swim, nice lunch, snooze. What I like most is if I go to my favourite spa in the summer and the weather is really good they have a huge spa garden with really big outside jacuzzi and pool and it feels like you're on holiday at a Mediterranean beach club for the day.

The way you describe yourself, OP is exactly the appearance of a typical spa guest in a classy hotel. Young hot girls more often than not tend to do different things or can't afford classy hotel spas.
I suggest you just shave your legs. Absolutely no make up, nobody wears it in a spa. Wear any swimsuit, it doesn't need to be 'nice'. Most importantly, nobody will look at you for 2 reasons: 1)people come to spa to relax and not to people watch 2) it is full of water, steam and visibility generally not great. They also always give you bath robes of a rather generous size so when you just roaming around you will be completely covered.

The replies here are so reassuring, positive and lovely! Thank you all 😊 I feel much better about it now and won't worry.

Quick shave a day before, paint my toenails, extra conditioner for the sauna.

Can't wait!

Glad you are feeling better OP. I am also not a glam person but I love a spa!

Someone mentioned Speedo swimsuits. This one is underwired and I find it great: www.bravissimo.com/products/premiere-ultimate-swimsuit-so105/#orangepurple-so105orp

Lots of prettier ones on bravissimo too but I feel nice and secure when swimming in this one!

@Skinnytailedsquirrel

I still can't understand what a spa actually is. What it sounds like it is, is not very appealing.

Which language would you like All the helpful and informative posts on this thread repeated in?

Honestly OP nobody cares what anybody else looks like. All the other people at the spa are doing the same thing - taking some r and r for big birthdays/achievements/need a rest after stressful times. Don't worry at all. Let yourself relax and you will come away feeling amazing. The sauna, steam and pool all really help melt away any tension you have. I always feel a bit body conscious on the way there but once I'm in I stop caring. Re big boobs- the only swimwear that actually fits me was bought from a lingerie shop where you can buy by the cup size and its much nicer walking around not feeling like they're going to fall out!

@BeatieBourke
Great advice so far.
Tell us which spa OP and we can tell you what to expect.

I also take a water bottle, as I get very thirsty in a spa, and I can't stand the waste of using cup/glass once.

I'm rather tubby but never felt uncomfortable in a spa.

I'd advise 2 swimsuits

I feel your pain OP... I am a similar level of glam and don't even own a swim suit! Would love to try a spa but the thought petrifies me 😆

Thanks for posting this as the replies have made me think I should give it a go!

On a linked note ... does anyone know if there's such a place where you can take a 12/13 year old girl as well? My daughter would love it! 😃

Will you be looking and judging other peoples legs? If you wouldn’t why would anyone be noticing your legs, people are there to relax not to analyse other peoples bodies. I remind myself of this if I ever feel self conscious

Not belonging is a feeling, anyone can go. Staff don’t care whether someone is usually in the beauty salon weekly or up mountains. The spa is for everyone.

I hope you have a great time

Quick shave of legs pits and bikini line and your good to go I’d say. Try Freya for swimwear. Not the cheapest but worth it for feeling comfortable and securing big boobs in my experience. Hope you have a wonderful time!

@dipdye

Spas are the most unrelaxing places ever! Naked, with strangers

Du no op, just try and enjoy it, you've spent the money now

I don’t know what kind of spa you go to but I’ve never been to one where everyone is naked!

I’d shave legs, bikini line, under arms etc.make sure toe nails are in decent shape. But don’t worry about makeup etc. I will wear a bit of eye makeup in a spa but not foundation etc

@Skinnytailedsquirrel

I still can't understand what a spa actually is. What it sounds like it is, is not very appealing.

@Skinnytailedsquirrel are you joking?! How can you not know what a spa is. Maybe book one and give it a go, live a little

I'm not a spa/ salon person either. I get my hair cut, that's it. I do the rest myself. I love massages but my husband does them for me. I would never feel totally relaxed with a stranger doing stuff to me. I'd probably feel too tense which defeats the object.

@MrsGHarrison87 Why not? It’s their job

I love a spa! I epilate legs and armpits and trim the bits that stick out of my swimsuit bottoms. Paint toenails. Take own slider sandals coz theirs are always too short and wide (long skinny feet). Two swimsuits so I can have a dry one under my robe at lunchtime. Bring it on!