Active discussions

Best Amazon Prime Day deals: Mumsnet favourites

Best Amazon Prime Day deals:
Mumsnet favourites

Shop now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To go by myself?

104 replies

RoseMartha · 07/03/2022 23:19

I had an email today about 50% off main course at Toby. Mon-Thurs.
So as my teens like a roast there and we hadnt been since last summer.
I suggested we went early one evening.

I wish I hadnt bothered as they said no as it will be boring with the 3 of us and that only if it is a big family get together and you can just cook us one.

I said some people go on their own, at which point they said that was for losers.

I explained I thought it was a nice family thing to do as a treat and I was hurt they said not interested.

Aibu to go on my own while they have dinner at their dads one night.

OP posts:
Springhassprung86 · 07/03/2022 23:22

Ahh OP this made me feel sad 😢
you wouldn’t be at all unreasonable to go alone, but it doesn’t sound like you want to.
Try not to take it personally. Teenagers can be dicks.
I wouldn’t think twice if I saw someone eating a meal in a carvery by themselves. Definitely treat yourself! Or maybe see if a friend wants to come, share a bottle of wine and have a night off from being mum.

AHungryCaterpillar · 07/03/2022 23:23

I wouldn’t and have never gone out to a restaurant alone, people say they do all the time on here but honestly I don’t know anyone that does.

Ragwort · 07/03/2022 23:25

Lots of people eat out alone at restaurants- of course you should go, enjoy your meal.

Schlerp · 07/03/2022 23:26

Yanbu - there’s something quite empowering about going out for a meal alone. You eat in your own time. There’s no need for small talk or pleasantries, you can people watch or read a book/phone/mumsnet. The peace is bliss.

Always worth trying at least once.

frustratedashell · 07/03/2022 23:27

I've eaten out alone, take a book and enjoy the peace!

Judystilldreamsofhorses · 07/03/2022 23:29

@AHungryCaterpillar I wouldn’t choose a carvery (not much of a meat eater) but I am a frequent eater-outer alone. I used to travel a lot with work so it was that or sit in a hotel room. Now I teach so have loads of time off in the summer when my DP and most of my friends are at work - solo lunch and solo cinema are my favourites!

AHungryCaterpillar · 07/03/2022 23:29

Yeh cinema is another one I would never go to alone!

Person123456 · 07/03/2022 23:32

Take it as a blessing and have some you time, a nice meal go home have a relaxing bath that sort of thing

Crankley · 07/03/2022 23:33

I've eaten alone in restaurants several times and pubs and cinemas and I know friends have done the same.

Can you give a reason for your aversion to going alone AHungryCaterpillar?

Blossom64265 · 07/03/2022 23:33

Nothing wrong with enjoying a meal out by yourself. It’s even easier these days since you don’t have to tote a large book.

Person123456 · 07/03/2022 23:34

Im assuming the kids would be on their phones most of the time anyway right

bluecampbell · 07/03/2022 23:36

I would have no hesitation eating alone, and have done quite a few times. Take a big book, your phone, have a glass of wine and enjoy some me time!

HiJenny35 · 07/03/2022 23:36

Love going for meals on my own. Was in prezzo yesterday lady was eating on her own, Toby 2 weeks ago lady eating on her own, 2 men eating on their own. What do people think people who travel for work do? Go and enjoy, a meal on your own where you take your time and read the news or whatever you like is a lovely thing. Pretty sad that more people don't feel empowered enough to do it.

HiJenny35 · 07/03/2022 23:37

Also do opera and cinema on my own.

Person123456 · 07/03/2022 23:38

i tend to frequent cafes by myself with a good old news paper for company, nothing wrong with it

JingsMahBucket · 07/03/2022 23:40

I love eating alone. Definitely do it @RoseMartha and enjoy yourself.

lulabelled · 07/03/2022 23:42

Recently I went out for a really nice lunch alone. Iv never done it before but I happened to have a day off work. Friends were busy, husband at work and kids at school. I really fancied something in particular and my first thought was it was a shame I had no one to go with. Then, I thought just go!! Don't let others hold you back. I absolutely loved it. I chose exactly what I wanted to eat, I ate it at the pace I wanted and I didn't have to make conversation or pleasantries. I can't wait to do it again when I get the opportunity Blush

DeoForty · 07/03/2022 23:44

Bloody love eating alone. And cinemas. Theatre. Holidays. It's great.

frustratedashell · 08/03/2022 00:22

I'm off on a cruise alone in April. First time, I'm excited but also slightly apprehensive but I'm sure once I'm on board it will be fine

Person123456 · 08/03/2022 00:27

@frustratedashell

I'm off on a cruise alone in April. First time, I'm excited but also slightly apprehensive but I'm sure once I'm on board it will be fine
a cruise by yourself? you lucky duck, wish i could do that and im guessing im not the only one, hope you enjoy yourself!
PikachuAndMe · 08/03/2022 01:11

Do whatever you want and to hell with them. What other people think doesn't matter.

I go to concerts, cinema, shows and exhibitions on my own if no-one else wants to go. I often have a better time on my own as I can do exactly what I want without having to be mindful of other people. DH has started taking my lead and buggers off to the cinema on his own now when it is a film I'm not interested in.

I have been for food on my own (my family don't like fish so I am on my own for sushi) and sometimes it is nice to have something like a book or podcasts but I quite enjoy just having some time with my own thoughts.

TibetanTerrah · 08/03/2022 01:15

I actually think a carvery is better if you're self conscious of eating out alone. No one will take a blind bit of notice of you sitting alone at the table - at most they'll assume whoever you're with is up getting more food!

I'm so sorry they hurt your feelings, you wanted to do a nice thing and you got the brutality of teenage but it's borrrrrrrrrrrrringgggggggggg.

Next time they want something, a specific meal, a lift, whatever. Give them the same attitude back Wink

PikachuAndMe · 08/03/2022 01:15

@frustratedashell

I'm off on a cruise alone in April. First time, I'm excited but also slightly apprehensive but I'm sure once I'm on board it will be fine
A cruise would be awesome. I go away for a long weekend each year to my home country on my own. It is so nice to relax in peace in a hotel. Sleep, go out, eat whatever and whenever you want to. I love being able to do what I want without fitting to other people's schedules.
SD1978 · 08/03/2022 03:32

I regularly go out to eat by myself, and have never felt uncomfortable doing so, or give a crap if anyone else has or does notice. I've never felt self conscious, or thought anyone was looking at me. I take a book, read that, enjoy my meal, and go home happy there are no dishes to do. I genuinely don't think anyone gives a damn- and i can't tell you if I've ever seen someone solo at a restaurant because I don't notice.

SarahBellam · 08/03/2022 03:41

Loads of people out alone. It is a lovely treat. You can choose a nice glass of wine, relax, no bickering teens, take your own time…I’d absolutely love this!