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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To go by myself?

104 replies

RoseMartha · 07/03/2022 23:19

I had an email today about 50% off main course at Toby. Mon-Thurs.
So as my teens like a roast there and we hadnt been since last summer.
I suggested we went early one evening.

I wish I hadnt bothered as they said no as it will be boring with the 3 of us and that only if it is a big family get together and you can just cook us one.

I said some people go on their own, at which point they said that was for losers.

I explained I thought it was a nice family thing to do as a treat and I was hurt they said not interested.

Aibu to go on my own while they have dinner at their dads one night.

OP posts:
Springhassprung86 · 07/03/2022 23:22

Ahh OP this made me feel sad 😢
you wouldn’t be at all unreasonable to go alone, but it doesn’t sound like you want to.
Try not to take it personally. Teenagers can be dicks.
I wouldn’t think twice if I saw someone eating a meal in a carvery by themselves. Definitely treat yourself! Or maybe see if a friend wants to come, share a bottle of wine and have a night off from being mum.

AHungryCaterpillar · 07/03/2022 23:23

I wouldn’t and have never gone out to a restaurant alone, people say they do all the time on here but honestly I don’t know anyone that does.

Ragwort · 07/03/2022 23:25

Lots of people eat out alone at restaurants- of course you should go, enjoy your meal.

Schlerp · 07/03/2022 23:26

Yanbu - there’s something quite empowering about going out for a meal alone. You eat in your own time. There’s no need for small talk or pleasantries, you can people watch or read a book/phone/mumsnet. The peace is bliss.

Always worth trying at least once.

frustratedashell · 07/03/2022 23:27

I've eaten out alone, take a book and enjoy the peace!

Judystilldreamsofhorses · 07/03/2022 23:29

@AHungryCaterpillar I wouldn’t choose a carvery (not much of a meat eater) but I am a frequent eater-outer alone. I used to travel a lot with work so it was that or sit in a hotel room. Now I teach so have loads of time off in the summer when my DP and most of my friends are at work - solo lunch and solo cinema are my favourites!

AHungryCaterpillar · 07/03/2022 23:29

Yeh cinema is another one I would never go to alone!

Person123456 · 07/03/2022 23:32

Take it as a blessing and have some you time, a nice meal go home have a relaxing bath that sort of thing

Crankley · 07/03/2022 23:33

I've eaten alone in restaurants several times and pubs and cinemas and I know friends have done the same.

Can you give a reason for your aversion to going alone AHungryCaterpillar?

Blossom64265 · 07/03/2022 23:33

Nothing wrong with enjoying a meal out by yourself. It’s even easier these days since you don’t have to tote a large book.

Person123456 · 07/03/2022 23:34

Im assuming the kids would be on their phones most of the time anyway right

bluecampbell · 07/03/2022 23:36

I would have no hesitation eating alone, and have done quite a few times. Take a big book, your phone, have a glass of wine and enjoy some me time!

HiJenny35 · 07/03/2022 23:36

Love going for meals on my own. Was in prezzo yesterday lady was eating on her own, Toby 2 weeks ago lady eating on her own, 2 men eating on their own. What do people think people who travel for work do? Go and enjoy, a meal on your own where you take your time and read the news or whatever you like is a lovely thing. Pretty sad that more people don't feel empowered enough to do it.

HiJenny35 · 07/03/2022 23:37

Also do opera and cinema on my own.

Person123456 · 07/03/2022 23:38

i tend to frequent cafes by myself with a good old news paper for company, nothing wrong with it

JingsMahBucket · 07/03/2022 23:40

I love eating alone. Definitely do it @RoseMartha and enjoy yourself.

lulabelled · 07/03/2022 23:42

Recently I went out for a really nice lunch alone. Iv never done it before but I happened to have a day off work. Friends were busy, husband at work and kids at school. I really fancied something in particular and my first thought was it was a shame I had no one to go with. Then, I thought just go!! Don't let others hold you back. I absolutely loved it. I chose exactly what I wanted to eat, I ate it at the pace I wanted and I didn't have to make conversation or pleasantries. I can't wait to do it again when I get the opportunity Blush

DeoForty · 07/03/2022 23:44

Bloody love eating alone. And cinemas. Theatre. Holidays. It's great.

frustratedashell · 08/03/2022 00:22

I'm off on a cruise alone in April. First time, I'm excited but also slightly apprehensive but I'm sure once I'm on board it will be fine

Person123456 · 08/03/2022 00:27

@frustratedashell

I'm off on a cruise alone in April. First time, I'm excited but also slightly apprehensive but I'm sure once I'm on board it will be fine
a cruise by yourself? you lucky duck, wish i could do that and im guessing im not the only one, hope you enjoy yourself!
PikachuAndMe · 08/03/2022 01:11

Do whatever you want and to hell with them. What other people think doesn't matter.

I go to concerts, cinema, shows and exhibitions on my own if no-one else wants to go. I often have a better time on my own as I can do exactly what I want without having to be mindful of other people. DH has started taking my lead and buggers off to the cinema on his own now when it is a film I'm not interested in.

I have been for food on my own (my family don't like fish so I am on my own for sushi) and sometimes it is nice to have something like a book or podcasts but I quite enjoy just having some time with my own thoughts.

TibetanTerrah · 08/03/2022 01:15

I actually think a carvery is better if you're self conscious of eating out alone. No one will take a blind bit of notice of you sitting alone at the table - at most they'll assume whoever you're with is up getting more food!

I'm so sorry they hurt your feelings, you wanted to do a nice thing and you got the brutality of teenage but it's borrrrrrrrrrrrringgggggggggg.

Next time they want something, a specific meal, a lift, whatever. Give them the same attitude back Wink

PikachuAndMe · 08/03/2022 01:15

@frustratedashell

I'm off on a cruise alone in April. First time, I'm excited but also slightly apprehensive but I'm sure once I'm on board it will be fine
A cruise would be awesome. I go away for a long weekend each year to my home country on my own. It is so nice to relax in peace in a hotel. Sleep, go out, eat whatever and whenever you want to. I love being able to do what I want without fitting to other people's schedules.
SD1978 · 08/03/2022 03:32

I regularly go out to eat by myself, and have never felt uncomfortable doing so, or give a crap if anyone else has or does notice. I've never felt self conscious, or thought anyone was looking at me. I take a book, read that, enjoy my meal, and go home happy there are no dishes to do. I genuinely don't think anyone gives a damn- and i can't tell you if I've ever seen someone solo at a restaurant because I don't notice.

SarahBellam · 08/03/2022 03:41

Loads of people out alone. It is a lovely treat. You can choose a nice glass of wine, relax, no bickering teens, take your own time…I’d absolutely love this!

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