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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To go by myself?

104 replies

RoseMartha · 07/03/2022 23:19

I had an email today about 50% off main course at Toby. Mon-Thurs.
So as my teens like a roast there and we hadnt been since last summer.
I suggested we went early one evening.

I wish I hadnt bothered as they said no as it will be boring with the 3 of us and that only if it is a big family get together and you can just cook us one.

I said some people go on their own, at which point they said that was for losers.

I explained I thought it was a nice family thing to do as a treat and I was hurt they said not interested.

Aibu to go on my own while they have dinner at their dads one night.

OP posts:
sammylady37 · 08/03/2022 11:29

Not doing things alone sounds like a very restrictive way to lead your life.

I eat out alone, in cafes and restaurants. I go to the cinema alone, go to concerts, matches, plays etc. I’ve holidayed alone, both nationally and internationally, including a few trips to the States.
I’d have missed out on many wonderful experiences if I didn’t go because I was going to be doing so alone.

Chemenger · 08/03/2022 11:33

I like eating alone, and going to the cinema and the theatre by myself. It's even better now that I can look at stuff on my phone, so much easier than reading a book! I love staying in a hotel by myself as well.

Chemenger · 08/03/2022 11:39

The only time I have felt uncomfortable eating alone was in a Cheesecake Factory restaurant in the US where the waiter was distinctly offhand, which is odd for the US. I eventually realised it was because he spotted I was British and expected a poor tip, once I had paid he perked up considerably.

RockinHorseShit · 08/03/2022 11:43

I'm off on a cruise alone in April. First time, I'm excited but also slightly apprehensive but I'm sure once I'm on board it will be fine

Not quite the same, but first time I traveled alone, I went to Kenya on a whim in reaction to a bad breakup. I remember sitting on that plane after the rush of organising a last minute trip & thinking WTAF am I doing, panic! But too late

I actually had an amazing time, met other multi National single travellers from 17-85 & we soon had a big group of 35 of us to go anywhere we wanted with wide interests. I'm still in touch with several of them decades later. It was an amazing holiday & taught me I could go anywhere I wanted, even if nobody else wanted to

Have a fantastic time, I'm certain that you will

RockinHorseShit · 08/03/2022 11:51

I eventually realised it was because he spotted I was British and expected a poor tip, once I had paid he perked up considerably.

More fool you for tipping the rude bigoted git for bad service 🥴

SleepingStandingUp · 08/03/2022 12:04

Obv no one should do something that makes them uncomfortable but doesn't refusing to even consider doing these things aline mean you miss out on doing stuff?

DH and I have three kids. Limited childcare for all three. If we want to see Spiderman at the movies he goes at 11,am and I go at 3. If I had to fit it around his and my friends plans because we wouldn't go alone it would never happen.

If there's a Matthew Bourne ballet on, it can be hot and miss finding someone who's free the night I i am. I'd rather see it alien than miss it.

In my 20s my job involved lots of training away from home so I would sto pthe night before, eat out somewhere nice. I couldn't imagine sitting in my hotel room from 4pm with a sandwich.

My sister wouldn't do any of those alone, I just don't get what you think will be so terribly different from doing it alone

WhateverHappenedToMe · 08/03/2022 12:14

If you have a roast at home, why should they expect you to cook it?

Agree to their idea of staying home, and ask when THEY are going to prepare the meal.

allmysons · 08/03/2022 12:22

I think you should go when the kids are home with you and tell them there is pasta on the side and to cook it themselves, you are going to the carvery.
They will soon change their minds for next time is they're left behind and have to do their own food

Spidey66 · 08/03/2022 12:24

@AHungryCaterpillar

Yeh cinema is another one I would never go to alone!
I love going to the cinema on my own! Why wouldn't you, it's not like you talk to people during the film! It means you can see films you like, not just to please someone else.
CourtRand · 08/03/2022 16:45

I eat out alone all the time. It feels luxurious and waiters Often take extra care of you lol.

user1493494961 · 08/03/2022 16:56

I'd go by myself. I wouldn't wait until the kids were at their Dad's either, they can have a sandwich.

ilovesooty · 08/03/2022 17:00

@DeoForty

Bloody love eating alone. And cinemas. Theatre. Holidays. It's great.
Same here.
Lia198 · 08/03/2022 17:03

I occasionally go for a meal on my own, I love it!

BuddhaForMary · 08/03/2022 17:17

I love going out for a meal on my own when I get chance and can afford it! I go out for a coffee on my own and to the cinema, too. Honestly can't see a problem with it! I'm with my DC pretty much 24/7 so it's lovely to be out somewhere on my own for a bit sometimes.

PatientlyWaiting21 · 08/03/2022 17:18

I travel for work a lot and often end up eating on my own. I’ve never felt like a loser, bring a book. Enjoy your own company. Don’t take what they said personally, teenagers can be dicks, but I’d make them aware they’ve hurt your feelings.

HerMajestyTheQuern · 08/03/2022 17:18

Going to the cinema on my own is one of my favourite things to do. I’ve got my birthday booked off in a few weeks and shall be spending it blissfully on my own for a change including a lovely lunch somewhere. Between my DH and kids I’m never on my own so can’t wait.

FangsForTheMemory · 08/03/2022 17:20

@AHungryCaterpillar Why on earth wouldn't you go to the cinema alone? It's not as if you can talk to people while you're watching the film.

HomeHomeInTheRange · 08/03/2022 17:23

In response to ‘you could just cook us one’ I would respond ‘True! Invite a friend each and let’s us 3 cook a fantastic roast and desert’ and get them to muck in / host a meal with their friends.

Pucarbuile · 08/03/2022 17:26

I love eating out alone and have very much enjoyed a few holidays by myself but I just can't get myself to go to the cinema solo! I don't know why it's such a mental block for me as it's the most logical as a one person activity of the three.

BuddhaForMary · 08/03/2022 17:26

I'm going to the cinema on my own for my birthday next month, followed by Chinese buffet. Can't wait! It's a proper treat not having to worry about anyone else's needs but my own for a few hours!

Fernandina · 08/03/2022 17:26

Go and have a lovely meal on your own, and don't arrange for them to eat at their dad's. Leave them to sort out their own dinner, the ungrateful sods darlings.

BoredZelda · 08/03/2022 17:33

Go yourself. And never cook a roast for them again. If they want one they can have it.

BoredZelda · 08/03/2022 17:34

*cook it.

SleepingStandingUp · 08/03/2022 17:45

@BuddhaForMary

I'm going to the cinema on my own for my birthday next month, followed by Chinese buffet. Can't wait! It's a proper treat not having to worry about anyone else's needs but my own for a few hours!
Ooh I think I found my line. I don't think I could do buffet alone. There's a nice one in town but no one to go with but I just can't get on board with going alone. . Aube because I'm fat so people will judge. E
RealBecca · 08/03/2022 17:51

I used to work away and eat out alone all the time, it's amazing!