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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To go by myself?

104 replies

RoseMartha · 07/03/2022 23:19

I had an email today about 50% off main course at Toby. Mon-Thurs.
So as my teens like a roast there and we hadnt been since last summer.
I suggested we went early one evening.

I wish I hadnt bothered as they said no as it will be boring with the 3 of us and that only if it is a big family get together and you can just cook us one.

I said some people go on their own, at which point they said that was for losers.

I explained I thought it was a nice family thing to do as a treat and I was hurt they said not interested.

Aibu to go on my own while they have dinner at their dads one night.

OP posts:
GreyCarpet · 08/03/2022 03:49

I do loads of things on my own.

Go out for dinner, to the pub, festivals.

In fact, a group of my friends are going to a festival later this year and have asked me to come. I've been delaying buying a ticket and couldn't work out why I felt uncomfortable with it until I realised I've only ever been to festivals on my own! I'm not sure how I'd feel about going with other people!

My friend went out for dinner alone for the first time recently. She sent photos Grin she really enjoyed it and found it quite liberating.

romdowa · 08/03/2022 03:59

I used to love eating alone. I'd get a magazine or a book and not have to make small talk! I often took myself off for lunch or dinner just to unwind. Sadly I can't eat out anymore due to severe allergies but I'd 100% tell you to go and enjoy your meal, you deserve the treat

SleepingStandingUp · 08/03/2022 04:03

What are you willing to do alone @AHungryCaterpillar? What's so awful about a quiet, uninterrupted meal, cooked and tidied up by someone else.

I'm off on holiday alone in July and brought me 6 months cinema card so I could go alone

Nat6999 · 08/03/2022 04:06

I used to go to a pizza restaurant once a month on payday for lunch on my own, it was my treat to myself.

mnnewbie111 · 08/03/2022 06:46

@AHungryCaterpillar

I wouldn’t and have never gone out to a restaurant alone, people say they do all the time on here but honestly I don’t know anyone that does.
😂😂😂
Mumdiva99 · 08/03/2022 06:49

Have a nice meal. Take a book and a coat to leave on your table while you are up at thee carvery/go to the loo etc. Don't forget to get extra yourkshire and to brag to the teenagers afterwards!!

KatherineofGaunt · 08/03/2022 06:54

I enjoy the occasional meal out on my own. Definitely take a book! I haven't done it for a while because of DC but as soon as I next get a day when they're in nursery and I'm not working, I'll be straight off to have my own nice lunch!

OmgIThinkILikeYou · 08/03/2022 06:56

Every year I go and do the Xmas shopping for my family and dp/dc. I go to the big local shopping centre.

Once I have got everything I need, I go to Waterstones, buy a new book then go to a restaurant, collapse on the chair after a day of mass walking panic buying and its bliss.

I get a nice glass of wine, open my book and enjoy being waited on and having a lovely meal whilst not having to engage in any conversation (with the exception of polite chat with the waitor) It is my yearly treat and I love it.

girlmom21 · 08/03/2022 06:58

I'd have told them you're not cooking one at home just for that comment - and if they want a roast they can do it themselves!

Go on your own OP.

@AHungryCaterpillar cinema alone is the best

FuckThatBullshit · 08/03/2022 06:59

I wouldn't go to a romantic, candlelit restaurant on my own on a Saturday night. But carvery places, cafes, pret, airports, hotels etc? I've literally lost count. Just take your phone so you can read something x

Billandben444 · 08/03/2022 07:09

Yes, cinema alone is the best! I regularly holiday abroad alone so am used to eating alone. I wouldn't do it in a couples' place or on a Saturday night but midweek carvery, yes! Don't cook for your ungrateful teens that day and enjoy yourself.

ElegantlyTouched · 08/03/2022 07:24

Go by yourself one evening the teems are at yours. They can cook for themselves. Take a book and enjoy.

Original poster
RoseMartha · 08/03/2022 07:29

Thank you all has made me feel a lot better about it. The dc would not be on their phones that long at the Toby because you dont really have a long food wait.

I am restricted of what I can eat due to intolerances and Toby is ok. I normally dread going to restaurants because after asking the waiting staff I find there is one choice left to me on the menu if I am lucky. I have been out with family where I can only eat a side and a desert.

I think I will pluck up the courage and go on my own with a book.

@frustratedashell
Have a lovely holiday.

OP posts:
Luredbyapomegranate · 08/03/2022 07:30

@AHungryCaterpillar

Yeh cinema is another one I would never go to alone!
Well that’s fine, but the OP might not be happy to restrict her life in the same way.

OP I eat our alone often because I travel for work, but also if I happen to be out and about. It’s not fun in the same way as eating with friends, but it can certainly be fun. Take a book and make it a treat for yourself once a month. Leave your teens too it.

RockinHorseShit · 08/03/2022 07:31

Go for it. I really enjoy eating in restaurants alone. Something I picked up when working abroad & had no choice. I especially loved it in Paris. Take a book or sketch pad & just relax & enjoy some me time

& teens, meh. I've got one. They are gits for making you feel like the worst company & most boring company in the world. Take no heed. Go whenever you feel like & leave them to cook themselves beans on toast

RockinHorseShit · 08/03/2022 07:34

So sad for those of you who won't go to the cinema or eat alone. Honestly try it, it is liberating. I moved on to holidays alone too & had some fantastic times

Gowithme · 08/03/2022 07:36

Not being able to go anywhere or do anything alone suggests low self esteem to me (or being 15!). Do it OP.

RandomBasic · 08/03/2022 07:37

Feel sad for people who think going places alone is 'unthinkable'.

newbiename · 08/03/2022 07:38

@RandomBasic

Feel sad for people who think going places alone is 'unthinkable'.
Same. I love going to the cinema alone.
PrincessPaws · 08/03/2022 07:41

@AHungryCaterpillar

Yeh cinema is another one I would never go to alone!
I find that really weird because going to the cinema is not a social experience, you don't chat etc (unless you are a major arsehole) so why not go alone? After all you walk into a dark room and sit in a row of seats, you walk out with a load of other people, no-one would necessarily even know you were on your own
Moody123 · 08/03/2022 07:42

Oh do it ! It's amazing, I'd much prefer to go on my own to a meal then with family, get a nice book and read away while having a drink after ... yum yum !

suckingonchillidogs · 08/03/2022 07:43

Go and enjoy yourself OP - take a pen & notepad with you, they'll think you're a Toby critic! Doing things alone really builds your confidence - I've done solo concerts, cinema trips, eating out. Turns caterpillars into butterflies Wink

Somebodylikeyew · 08/03/2022 07:45

Well, going against the grain here, but I think you’re being unreasonable on two counts:

  1. Don’t go on a night they’re at their Dad’s. Go on a night they’re at yours and leave them bread and the toaster Grin
  1. You didn’t invite us!

Have a lovely time Grin

gogohm · 08/03/2022 07:47

Lots of people eat at restaurants alone, it's fine ... or if you happen to be near me I love a Toby and I'm home alone all week as dp is working awayGrin love a carvery

drpet49 · 08/03/2022 07:48

I wouldn’t and have never gone out to a restaurant alone, people say they do all the time on here but honestly I don’t know anyone that does.

^This

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