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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Vegans!!

153 replies

littlemissgrumpi · 07/03/2022 11:57

I have a friend I've known for years and years. She's great, but the following is recently seriously getting on my nerves:

Myself and DH are regular half marathoners / love exercise / athletic builds / no health conditions / omnivores. We eat lots of veg, chicken and fish about twice a week, red meat about once a fortnight. Cow's milk in coffee and tea everyday. Pretty average. Said friend has always struggled with being overweight, not helped by the birth of her DD2 and is currently quite overweight and doesn't like to exercise. No judgement, each to their own. She's recently become vegan and is obsessed with telling me how worried she is for my health because I drink milk and eat red meat. It's almost laughable because I'm the fittest I've ever been & felt! I don't comment on her choice of vegan cakes etc so I really feel this is unreasonable.

The other day on a walk, she was huffing and puffing walking up the hill whilst telling me how unhealthy it is to be drinking cows milk and I really shouldn't have the beef burger for lunch. AIBU to think it's ridiculous??

OP posts:
MrsGHarrison87 · 07/03/2022 19:17

@HereComesTheSum

Yep. Being vegan does not make you more healthy than a healthy carnivore!! Absolutely not. Especially all these meat alternatives some vegans eat, they're full of shit and processed to the max - it's NOT healthy.
I don't think a human carnivore could ever be healthy. A carnivore just eats meat.
5128gap · 07/03/2022 19:29

@RockinHorseShit

I'm really pleased to hear that *@5128gap*, unfortunately I've known a few who don't & have become I'll as a result Sad
That is concerning. More so as I've just read on the NHS website that vegans can get all their nutritional needs met from a good diet with no need for supplements. It does talk about the importance of B12 but doesn't specifically recommend supplements.
Grapewrath · 07/03/2022 19:33

It’s not vegans, it’s your friend. Maybe question your choice of friend before questioning all vegans

CBFA · 07/03/2022 19:40

Yes, I think it's completely reasonable to fat shame your friend and extrapolate that to have a moan about all 'vegans' in an incendiary thread title designed to polarise.people. What is unreasonable about that.. ???! Oh wait

DdraigGoch · 07/03/2022 19:41

Eating a plant based diet is the single biggest thing you can do to help the environment.

@Kfjsjdbd That's not true at all.

The single biggest thing you can do to help the environment is to use contraception. Saving: 60 tonnes a year for each child you didn't have.

Next, sell the petrol car. Saving 2.4 tonnes per year.

Then cut out the flights. Saving: 1.8 tonnes per return transatlantic flight avoided.

Sell the electric car too. Saving: 1.2 tonnes per year.

You'll find that going vegan is way down the list with a saving of only 0.8 tonnes per year. Yes, that means that even the electric cars which some people think are going to be the saviour of the planet are 50% more polluting than an omnivorous diet.

If you don't feel comfortable with the idea of killing another creature, then don't. But don't make demonstrably untrue claims like that.

RockinHorseShit · 07/03/2022 19:41

That is concerning. Yes, a family with mother & young adult DD with M.E. They insist it's not diet related, because the DH isn't I'll. The same DH is known for grabbing a burger when he's out drinking with his mate🥴

Another had a huge SM following & was promoting vegan diet & showing recipes, beautiful food, but insisted it was a good nutritional diet, but no B12 at all & low in other stuff. He ended up having tinnitus, raging insomnia, mood swings & then a breakdown where he was hospitalised, was diagnosed bipolar, eventually he listened & went & had his B12 tested & injections & changed his recipes to include nutritional yeast etc, but for quite a while he was dangerous as he sold his take on veganism really well

More so as I've just read on the NHS website that vegans can get all their nutritional needs met from a good diet with no need for supplements. It does talk about the importance of B12 but doesn't specifically recommend supplements.

Yikes, I didn't know about that, that is badShock. NHS generally aren't great with B12 deficiencies though. We had a hell of a fight to get the right tests for DD & ended up having to go private for her more in-depth blood tests that proved she was deficient & so many people struggle to get a diagnosis or proper treatment, so I shouldn't really be surprisedSad

stevalnamechanger · 07/03/2022 19:43

I would tell her your worried about her health due to her similarly unhealthy lifestyle choices ...! Simple

BuyDirt · 07/03/2022 19:44

I think the NHS site does say supplements may be needed depending on your diet. There’s so many fortified food now though that it is possible to get what you need without supplements unless there’s any medical issues. I prefer to take vitamins to be sure but I also did when I was vegetarian and most meat eaters I know take a multivitamin too.

Frazzled50yrold · 07/03/2022 19:45

'FGS, this isn’t a “vegan” thing, this is a “your friend” thing.
“Vegan” doesn’t = “healthy” and no vegans claim that it is unless they’re following a strictly vegan whole food plant based diet'
I'm in total agreement with this poster, your friend has problems and veganism isn't the only one.

DdraigGoch · 07/03/2022 19:48

There's not one single carnivorous trait in humans.
@Carpy899 do tell me why we have eyes mounted on the front of our heads (giving better depth perception for hunting), rather than on the sides (which would be useful for avoiding predators).

Grapewrath · 07/03/2022 19:51

I’ve been vegan most of my life and to my knowledge hsve never had any deficiencies. Certainly I have never suffered any bouts of illness or whatever. Had full bloods done a few times due to a genetic blood disorder which means metabolism of certain vitamins might be a problem ( women one side of family have it but I can’t remember the details)
Anyway, my levels are always perfect. I don’t take particular care over my diet either I just eat balanced.
The whole b12 thing reminds me of being veggie in the 80s and everyone insisting you would be exhausted and anaemic lol

Vanellopee · 07/03/2022 19:57

@MurmuratingStarling

There is a reason why vegans get 'bashed' though. Some are OK, but some of them are thoroughly irksome. It's like a cult. I could never be in a relationship with a vegan, and I doubt I could be good friends with one. (Even if they were one of the less annoying/preachy ones!)
I’m not vegan, but you sound deranged, insecure and hateful.

Thehonestybox · 07/03/2022 20:37

In my experience, these are the people that don't stay vegan for long. They're just self rightious diet people on their latest fad.

Like some people who go to AA and start going on at their family about the damage of alcohol...and you think - "yeah, and I've never had a problem..."

Strokethefurrywall · 07/03/2022 21:29

Like some people who go to AA and start going on at their family about the damage of alcohol...and you think - "yeah, and I've never had a problem..."

I’m sorry, are you really sneering at alcoholics who recognize their disease, have the courage to do something about, and then speak to their family about the damage alcohol can do? Really?

You’d have to be an absolute bell end or a poorly educated fool not agree that alcohol is one of the most damaging poisons a body can ingest. Which one are you?

Brefugee · 07/03/2022 21:33

The other day on a walk, she was huffing and puffing walking up the hill whilst telling me how unhealthy it is to be drinking cows milk and I really shouldn't have the beef burger for lunch. AIBU to think it's ridiculous??

I would have laughed uproriously and then said "wait, what? you're judging my health?" because i don't take bullshit from anyone about stuff like this. And then I've have laughed some more

NETSRIK · 07/03/2022 21:36

I'm vegan and my diet consists of a lot of peanut butter on toast. I never say I'm healthy to anyone as I'm not and more importantly no one cares. I just don't eat meat or dairy. I find people who talk about food and exercise are boring as fuck.

FireMeetGasoline · 08/03/2022 00:07

@DdraigGoch do tell me how often you use those eyes mounted on your face to hunt for your prey. It's possible that you do, and if that is the case, then good for you, but could you please enlighten me how often the general public use them to hunt their prey.

Vanderlayinfustries · 08/03/2022 00:18

Your friend’s attitude is unreasonable.

But you’re massively unreasonable too.

Your friend doesn’t speak for all vegans. I couldn’t give a monkeys what others eat. At the most, if asked for my opinion, and only when asked,I suggest eating less meat and organic meat. I never ever offer my opinion unwanted. And even when asked I never tell people they must “go” vegan

You accusing all vegans of being like her is just the same as her thinking you’re as unhealthy as other meat eaters.

Chill out a bit and try to add a bit of nuance to your reasoning

Vanderlayinfustries · 08/03/2022 00:23

On the deficiencies thing… vegan for decades. I have two genetic conditions that are worse when not vegan. Said conditions made me very ill with Covid. Had full bloods and tests for long Covid and discovered I have no deficiencies at all. High levels of iron and b12 etc.

HangingOver · 08/03/2022 00:32

I love being vegan Grin

Suzi888 · 08/03/2022 00:46

Oooh another vegan bashing postHmm

Here’s a novel concept, which you may not have come across. You’ll need to be quite adult to successfully execute it though. Neither of you engage in conversation about what the other sticks in their mouth. Voila.

Thank you for giving the heads up about the existence of vegan cake though, I’ve lost so much weight since going vegan- I was starting to worry.

Suzi888 · 08/03/2022 00:50

[quote Vanellopee]@MurmuratingStarling

There is a reason why vegans get 'bashed' though. Some are OK, but some of them are thoroughly irksome. It's like a cult. I could never be in a relationship with a vegan, and I doubt I could be good friends with one. (Even if they were one of the less annoying/preachy ones!)
I’m not vegan, but you sound deranged, insecure and hateful.[/quote]
Yup^ won’t be back to the thread. So much hate.

FireMeetGasoline · 08/03/2022 01:19

@Suzi888 it's just protein deficiency.

Just enjoy your time being well travelled to various islands with just a pig Grin

MangyInseam · 08/03/2022 02:37

It sounds like she's stumbled on one of those books or websites that really go on about the dangers of animal products as if a little milk in your tea is going to doom you within a fortnight.

I had a similar thing with a relative who became caught up in the dangers of gluten after reading some sort of diet book. She was however really alarmed, she wasn't just being a twit.

While I would try to be kind I think I'd be clear that I felt she'd succumbed to bad science.

MangyInseam · 08/03/2022 02:42

[quote FireMeetGasoline]@DdraigGoch do tell me how often you use those eyes mounted on your face to hunt for your prey. It's possible that you do, and if that is the case, then good for you, but could you please enlighten me how often the general public use them to hunt their prey.[/quote]
What does that have to do with anything?

Mind you lots of people do in fact hunt, which is a lot harder without binocular vision.

But what individuals do or do not have nothing to do with whether our bodies are built to hunt or make use of animal products. They clearly are, and what's more we have archaeological evidence that we have been meat-eaters since before we were homo sapiens.