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AIBU?

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Original poster

Awkward shopping situation. Help

64 replies

Kells93 · 06/03/2022 11:46

It's my birthday coming up. A friend has very kindly bought me a gift card for a clothes shop I like. We're meeting up for tea later on and I'm going to spend the gift card in the shop which is close to the pub we're going to.

The problem is I hate clothes shopping with other people. I like to browse at my leisure. I'm surprised he (It's a male friend, platonic) wants to drag himself around a woman's clothes shop for two hours but alas he does and is actually looking forward to it Confused

I feel so awkward when people are with me when I'm buying clothes. I feel pressured not to browse for too long and don't enjoy the experience at all. I end up buying stuff I usually wouldn't, or not buying what I actually want.

Help me get out of it without coming across as rude or ungrateful. I do want to use the gift card today as I don't have many opportunities to go shopping (kids and work)

Do I be honest and say I feel awkward and why doesn't he have a few pints and we'll meet back up afterwards?

WWYS?

OP posts:
Lavender24 · 06/03/2022 12:02

Just be honest. "I'm so grateful for the gift card and I don't want you to take this personally but I like to browse and shop alone. Would you mind if we met up afterwards for drinks and I'll show you what I bought?"

PurpleDaisies · 06/03/2022 12:04

The other thing you could do is look online or go in advance so you know what you want to buy.

I would just say you’ll meet him after you’ve been shopping to show off what you’ve bought.

scattercushion · 06/03/2022 12:06

Could you go there on your own first to check out things in Pearce then look round with him and show him a few things you’ve narrowed it down to?

OchreDandelion · 06/03/2022 12:06

Just go along with it but recognise you might end up going back to switch the clothes later?

Hellocatshome · 06/03/2022 12:08

Are you sure he sees it as platonic? Wanting to come clothes shopping with you while you spend the gift card he gave you as a present seems a bit controlling to me.

PurpleDaisies · 06/03/2022 12:09

@Hellocatshome

Are you sure he sees it as platonic? Wanting to come clothes shopping with you while you spend the gift card he gave you as a present seems a bit controlling to me.
You really have to want to see that as controlling to see it like that.
Tothemoonandbackx · 06/03/2022 12:12

@Hellocatshome that's a bit of a stretch, even by Mumsnet standards Hmm

bluebird3 · 06/03/2022 12:14

Tell him you don't want to clothes shop today as you're on your period and very bloated. That should end it quickly Grin. Then go back another time to shop.

Notimeforaname · 06/03/2022 12:15

Either tell him the truth or go along with it and return anything you don't like later.

Moonshine5 · 06/03/2022 12:17

OP say you forgot gift card and spend time with your friend

Rainbowshine · 06/03/2022 12:17

Could you say you’re waiting until the next season’s collection/more summer clothes are on sale as that’s what you want/need?

TooWicked · 06/03/2022 12:21

Go before you meet him for tea.

Or just simply say “thanks for the offer to join me but I’d rather have a wander round the shops by myself. As you know it’s not often I get the opportunity to go shopping by myself - you know, kids, work, etc”. If he gets offended or upset by that then he’s a twat.

maddening · 06/03/2022 12:24

Browse on line first so you know which items you want to look at?

Hellocatshome · 06/03/2022 12:29

@Tothemoonandbackx
I dont think so. Controlling or having an influence on what someone wears is often one of the first steps in a controlling relationship and even without that part if someone gave me a gift card then wanted to be there when I spent it I would be a bit Hmm

WhatTheWhoTheWhatThe · 06/03/2022 12:29

Just forget to take the voucher

MayBMaybenot · 06/03/2022 12:34

Go there the day before (or before you meet up), look for something you like, when you go in with your friend make a pretence of "browsing" for a few minutes before coming across the thing you like, try it on, buy it, thank friend for lovely gift .... you'll be out of here in 10 minutes. Job done and you're friend will be none the wiser.

TatianaBis · 06/03/2022 12:43

Well the pressure is coming from your decision to buy stuff today.

Forget that, just browse and enjoy your friend’s company as he’s been kind enough to give you this gift, then buy later online.

Eightiesfan · 06/03/2022 12:45

I agree with PP go in a few days before, try on anything you like, so when you go in with your friend you can just pick up the items you’ve already chosen without the stress of having to do any kind of fashion show in the changing rooms! 10 minutes in and out and then you can enjoy the rest of the day with him.

SquirrelFan · 06/03/2022 12:46

I'd be worried he didn't like my style and wanted to do a "makeover!"

MrsLargeEmbodied · 06/03/2022 12:47

from experience i dont think this is the right time of year

lateral · 06/03/2022 12:47

I got stuck at the idea you will spend 2 hours in your me shop Shock

I'm going to spend the gift card in the shop which is close to the pub we're going to.

Who made this arrangement? Is he encouraging you to spend it today, or have you said to him you will? It's strange to have such a set plan for spending a voucher

MrsLargeEmbodied · 06/03/2022 12:48

cant you just browse though

vdbfamily · 06/03/2022 12:48

Hi Ann hour early and shop before or decide what you want before and but it after!

Topseyt · 06/03/2022 12:56

Just be honest. I too am very much a lone shopper. I actively dislike having anyone with me as I shop because I feel hassled and under pressure, forcing me to either make bad choices or no choices at all.

I am not a social shopper at all. If I am going to meet anyone (rare) it will be after I have finished my browsing, maybe in a cafe etc.

Go to the shop a couple of hours before you are due to meet him in the pub. Get your shopping done and then show him what you have bought over a drink.

Original poster
Kells93 · 06/03/2022 12:57

@Hellocatshome

Are you sure he sees it as platonic? Wanting to come clothes shopping with you while you spend the gift card he gave you as a present seems a bit controlling to me.
Yes completely

He does the same thing for his daughter on her birthday. It's basically a slightly more prolonged version of wanting somebody to open their gift you got them infront of you I guess Grin

We only meet up once every few months due to distance so he likes to make a day of it.

I have to meet him first to get the gift card so I can't really go shopping first.

I think I'm going to do as suggested and say I feel a bit awkward would you like to have a couple of pints then I'll meet you back here in an hour and show you what I got.

Who made this arrangement? Is he encouraging you to spend it today, or have you said to him you will? It's strange to have such a set plan for spending a voucher

His idea, I said sure that sounds nice so commited to it then thought ffs it's going to be so awkward.

I struggle with being direct you see.

OP posts: