To pay my child to clean?

[CleaningForPocketMoney]

Back story, I had a cleaner, I paid £35 a week. This is a luxury, we do not have much disposal income however this adds immensely to our lives and time with our children and stops the arguments over who does what. We have cut back elsewhere to have this luxury.

We have a 15 year old who wants to earn money, they have found a job pot washing but the hours are late and the money is similar. Our cleaner has retired, I want to pay DC to clean, DH says that is cruel. I know DC will do a good job and understands if they don't I will have to get someone else.
I do give them pocket money but they would like more.

Aibu to let my child clean the family house?

[quote lateral]@Gowithme

But then you need to say why it's ridiculous.

No, I don't. Ridiculous is fine. I could have simply said no, neither require explanation.

Otherwise you really have no argument.

I'm not trying to have an argument [/quote]
What a twat 🤭

Not cruel at all. It's a job that needs doing, that you currently pay someone to do. As long as your child cleans to the same standard, and continues to pitch in with family chores, I don't see the problem.

How is it cruel? What an odd thing to say.

My ds washes and hoovers my car for extra pocket money. It benefits each of us. Would it be less cruel to have someone else do it?

@DontLookBackInAnger1

What a twat 🤭

You are calling me a twat because I don't want to get into an argument?

I think it’s weird, and not really the same kind of experience that they would get working outside of the home. Also if they do a bad job you’re going to fire them? Why don’t you set out a rota instead and all do some?

@MintJulia

How is it cruel? What an odd thing to say.

My ds washes and hoovers my car for extra pocket money. It benefits each of us. Would it be less cruel to have someone else do it?

The difference is probably the sex of the child in question.

Cleaning a car is a manly pursuit. Cleaning the skirting boards is being seen by the DH as degrading. Because he's internalised the 'It's a Woman's job' narrative.

Having seen what Potwash involves and how fucking minging toilets are in posh offices, I'd far rather clean the bog at home. DP has worked part time as a cleaner - he'd rather clean the bog at home, too - and does.

I thought all kids did chores in exchange for pocket money? I used to wash my Dad’s car every weekend for a fiver.

[quote lateral]@DontLookBackInAnger1

What a twat 🤭

You are calling me a twat because I don't want to get into an argument?
[/quote]
Seriously what is wrong with paying a perfectly capable child to do the cleaning?

So...
The child wants the money.
It's OK for them to earn it out of the home.
It's cruel for them to earn it in the home.

Who's doing the cleaning now. You? Ask your husband why is he being cruel to you.

Is it cruel for us to have to work to be paid??? Of course its fine if he wants to do it and does it properly as if he was working for somebody else. I always think its strange when people object to children getting rewarded for something they do saying you shouldn't bribe them when it's actually what we all do at work every day........ Not many would do their jobs without being 'bribed' AKA paid💷💰🤑

I did this with my DC when they were about 6, not fully cleaning the house but tidying their rooms, putting their plates in the dishwasher etc. it helped them to learn the value of money and how to not leave a trail in their wake.

I think you can agree that your DD cleans X room, fe, for the pocket money.

Ive always paid my dc to do jobs, it teaches them that money is earned not just given.

As long as they are keen to do it and you’re paying a fair amount then crack on, sounds like a good idea. Last year my step son was visiting relatives houses to do things like mow lawns or wash cars as he was saving up for a pc he really wanted. He savings weren’t growing fast enough with just birthday/Christmas/pocket money.

I'm one of 7.
My DM used to offer us money just to be quiet!

It's certainly not cruel.
A lot of employers will expect hard labour from a teen, and unsociable hours, too.

It's just working from home.

It sounds a great solution to me. I used to pay my 11-yr old daughter to iron10 school shirts a week and she did a better job than I did (10 years later, neither of us iron anything). Tell him what you expect and keep him to that standard so he sees it as a job and not a chore for pocket money. It's a win win and in no way cruel!

Dc has small chores to do and there was a list of other jobs pinned up with the fee for doing them. If they wanted more money they knew what they had to do.

@Billandben444

It sounds a great solution to me. I used to pay my 11-yr old daughter to iron10 school shirts a week and she did a better job than I did (10 years later, neither of us iron anything). Tell him what you expect and keep him to that standard so he sees it as a job and not a chore for pocket money. It's a win win and in no way cruel!

This is exactly it. It needs to be a job, not pocket money for tidying. I want to leave a list like I did for the old cleaner, if he doesn't do it we will employ someone else.

And as to a pp saying draw up a rota, we all do our own tidying, take turns to empty dishwasher etc I don't want to manage or enforce a rota for the other jobs, having a cleaner as greatly added to our lives.

I think from your DS’s point of view, it’s limiting. It’s money but there’s no chat. No proper work experience with a boss. He’s not learning much. No customer interaction - just family. I think he might enjoy being in a cafe serving a bit more. Or even doing something for his future career. It’s not cruel but it’s short sighted.

I used to get paid to do ironing, cleaning and babysitting (had a much younger sibling). It worked well for me and my parents. The only thing I'd be wary about is are you sure that your child will do a good job?

If they want to do it? When I was at college at 16 I was paid to clean the whole house on my day off. It was the 90s so certainly wasnt a lot but I happily did it for extra cash.

We were brought up cleaning though. We all had jobs to do and were expected to keep our rooms tidy, wash up etc. I loved ironing so at 13 so did the lot for the family. We weren’t allowed out at a weekend till we had done our share right through our teens. Wasn’t too bad between us as it was only a 3 bed semi. So by 16 I was very able!

@TizerorFizz

I think from your DS’s point of view, it’s limiting. It’s money but there’s no chat. No proper work experience with a boss. He’s not learning much. No customer interaction - just family. I think he might enjoy being in a cafe serving a bit more. Or even doing something for his future career. It’s not cruel but it’s short sighted.

I do agree with this but options here appear to be very limited until he is 16.

I wouldn't.

My ds(18) has been able to do the cleaning jobs you listed for a few years but as part of contributing to the home he lives in. I have never confused or associated that with money, ds learned cleaning is something everyone has to do in their home.

Also an outside job will give her a wider experience.

My DM paid us to clean and iron for years when we were teens. It got her cleaning done and earned us extra cash. Win win I’d say.

It's not cruel! One of my nieces used to do it and she did a good job!