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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To pay my child to clean?

79 replies

CleaningForPocketMoney · 05/03/2022 18:38

Back story, I had a cleaner, I paid £35 a week. This is a luxury, we do not have much disposal income however this adds immensely to our lives and time with our children and stops the arguments over who does what. We have cut back elsewhere to have this luxury.

We have a 15 year old who wants to earn money, they have found a job pot washing but the hours are late and the money is similar. Our cleaner has retired, I want to pay DC to clean, DH says that is cruel. I know DC will do a good job and understands if they don't I will have to get someone else.
I do give them pocket money but they would like more.

Aibu to let my child clean the family house?

OP posts:

joydivisionovengloves71 · 05/03/2022 18:59

Or she, sorry I just saw you didn't specify

Original poster

CleaningForPocketMoney · 05/03/2022 19:00

No, it will be instead of pot washing. Also it will be in addition to things that I expect of a teenager, ie there is a rota for emptying dishwasher, laying table etc. Mainly bathrooms, floors, windows, skirting, so cleaning rather than tidying.

OP posts:

JaceLancs · 05/03/2022 19:00

I used to pay my DC to clean when they were at sixth form - they cleaned to my standard or wouldn’t have got paid full amount
DD (30) is going back to studying soon and will need extra work to top up her bursary and student loan
I have offered her 3 hours a week cleaning for going rate locally (£15) she is also going to do some paid work for DGM to help out

Allthegoodusernamesareused · 05/03/2022 19:01

I do occasionally pay my kids to clean.

DD17 now only does so when she needs to top up her earnings from her part time work.

DD11 will ask to do jobs when she's saving up for something and it's taking too long from pocket money alone.

I wouldn't do it as a regular thing, particularly for a teenager as I think getting a job outside the home brings good experience as well as extra cash. But equally I don't see the harm.

modgepodge · 05/03/2022 19:01

My parents paid my sister to clean as a teenager. Worked for both parties, she was paid more per hour than she would have been waitressing or whatever, my parents paid her less than they would have a professional cleaner. I don’t think it’s cruel. Plenty of people give pocket money dependent on certain chores being done, this isn’t that different?

Original poster

CleaningForPocketMoney · 05/03/2022 19:02

@joydivisionovengloves71

Or she, sorry I just saw you didn't specify

I didn't deliberately, just in case it changed replies (and most seemed to think DD but it is DS)

OP posts:

TabithaTiger · 05/03/2022 19:03

I used to do this with DS, it was great! He cleaned just as well as any cleaner I've ever had and he benefited from the money. He's older joe and works full time but he's still very clean and tidy as he appreciates how much work goes into keeping the house nice.

Original poster

CleaningForPocketMoney · 05/03/2022 19:04

@Allthegoodusernamesareused

I do occasionally pay my kids to clean.

DD17 now only does so when she needs to top up her earnings from her part time work.

DD11 will ask to do jobs when she's saving up for something and it's taking too long from pocket money alone.

I wouldn't do it as a regular thing, particularly for a teenager as I think getting a job outside the home brings good experience as well as extra cash. But equally I don't see the harm.

This is my only concern. I agree that working outside the home is invaluable, and I would certainly like them to do this, but Fri and Sat nights would stop them doing something they loved. I do wonder if the job was sat or Sunday day I might not have suggested cleaning.

OP posts:

2bazookas · 05/03/2022 19:07

Do it, but first you need to make a list of her cleaning-for-pay responsibilities, and a separate list of the normal domestic co-operation any teen should be doing.

I would pay her for jobs like doing the family ironing, washing floors, cleaning windows/oven.

I wouldn't expect to pay her for things like doing her own laundry, setting the table, helping to get dinner, tidying her own bedroom.

Chocs44 · 05/03/2022 19:07

When I was working full time I paid my daughter to clean our house,she was 18. She did a great job, she's been well trained!!! She earned some extra cash each week and I had more free time at the weekends. Win win!!!

FortunaMajor · 05/03/2022 19:07

The plus to the pot wash job would be a work history and reference, which could be useful if applying for part time work as a student or for first 'proper' job.

Unsociable hours are a downside though, especially at that age.

applegate79 · 05/03/2022 19:08

Funnily enough I’ve had the exact same conversation today. Our cleaner retired, and we’ve just tried a new one who after 4 weeks really isn’t doing a good job.
I’ve told my 15 year old that she can do it on the condition that it’s done in an appropriate timeframe ie she’s going to do Saturday 9-12, and she sticks to this timeframe and that I will want it to be the same standard as the original cleaner.
She’s really keen and has been unable to get a job due to her age, so we’ll give it a try …… to be honest it may work well ie she gets the money and it will be a little cheaper for me or it may be a disaster in which case I’ll look for someone else.

fairylightsandwaxmelts · 05/03/2022 19:13

I think it's absolutely fine.

But I agree with PP that you need to differentiate between basic expectations (cleaning her room etc.) and what you're paying her for.

mbosnz · 05/03/2022 19:28

I know of a person who this worked very well for them with their daughter - the person hated cleaning, her daughter didn't mind and actually did it to a better standard than she did.

At that age, I had a job cleaning a restaurant at the weekends to commercial standard, and did it just fine.

But you'd have to be very clear about expectations, - what, when and where.

Georgeskitchen · 05/03/2022 19:32

Nothing wrong with it, I used to do a few extra jobs around the house for a bit extra pocket money!! Also had a job at a hotel pot washing from the age of 13. Nothing wrong with kids earning their own money. It's a good life lesson

Thisismynamenow · 05/03/2022 19:35

My grandmother paid me £20 per week to clean her home when I was a teen. She didn't need the cleaner (my mom was her career and cleaned mon-fri) but she wanted to teach me to earn money and I wanted to be able to afford my weekend hobby (ice skating).

I think its great to teach teens the concept or earning money, how to clean correctly and responsibilities! :)

Darbs76 · 05/03/2022 19:37

No harm in a trial. 4wks, if not to the standard the cleaner did by then then I’d stop it.

shinynewapple22 · 05/03/2022 19:39

I used to give DS money to help clean the house. He needed a job,
I needed help with cleaning . Problem solved .

How on earth is it cruel if you are paying him? It's not like you are refusing to let him out with his mates as you have him scrubbing toilets instead!

Suzi888 · 05/03/2022 19:49

Nothing cruel about it, great idea.

DelurkingAJ · 05/03/2022 19:53

We did this 25 years ago…three of us cleaned two of our collective families houses and were paid what the cleaners had previously been paid. We were thorough and at 14 it was an excellent way to have a job.

Marmelace · 05/03/2022 19:54

If your both happy with it, why not?

Marmelace · 05/03/2022 19:54

YOU'RE!!!!!!

PiperPosey · 05/03/2022 20:51

Shoot...I used to pay my kids to rub my feet after waitressing all day...
( Yes..clean feet) and I paid a lot because it was worth it..
They couldn't wait for me to get home!

PinkSyCo · 05/03/2022 21:36

Of course it wouldn’t be cruel! You’re not forcing him and you’ll be paying him about the same rate as you did your previous cleaner presumably?

ringoutthebells · 05/03/2022 22:36

I think children should be taught to pitch in as they are part of the team / family, not that they are due payment for housework done in their own home. So for me it wouldn't send the right message.

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