To ask if anyone had a bad birth experience despite using hypnobirthing techniques?

[Movingsoon21]

I'm due to have my first child in a few weeks and I've been reading a lot of confusing/conflicting papers and statistics when trying to work out the best options for my birth preferences. None seem to reference specific factors of vaginal deliveries that lead to forceps delivery, which I really want to avoid.

I'm lucky to have a low risk pregnancy, am early 30s and generally fit and healthy. This profile leads the midwives to guide me to a vaginal delivery in an MLU, which sounds like it can be a great experience, especially when coupled with hypnobirthing techniques (e.g. using the BRAIN system for decision-making, using up/down breathing for coping with contractions and pushing, focusing on things that will increase oxytocin and reduce adrenalin etc). I have some friends who have had brilliant experiences in these circumstances.

However, I also have a number of friends who have ended up with traumatic vaginal deliveries, ending with forceps/EMCS and lasting internal damage. I haven't asked them whether they tried to use hypnobirthing techniques as I don't want to pry or potentially upset them, but I'm pretty sure at least some of them didn't.

I was therefore just wondering, as I can't find any studies on this, how much the hypnobirthing techniques actually help to move you into the "good outcome" vaginal delivery group (assuming you are otherwise low risk), or whether it's really all down to luck?

Did anyone on here with a low risk pregnancy follow hypnobirthing and still end up with a bad birth experience/bad post-natal recovery outcomes such as third/fourth degree tears or incontinence? TIA.

I feel hypnobirthing does many women a disservice and contributes strongly to the feelings of 'failure' many new mums have when things didn't go to plan and they needed medical intervention for things that were completely out of their control. Or, because the pain has taken them by surprise because contractions hurt rather than being "lovely labour surges"

Yes it's true birth is more medicalised than it was BUT for centuries many, many women and babies died during labour and birth. Birth is now much safer for mum and baby and that is because of medical interventions.

Take what works for you from hypnobirthing but keep an open mind and know that medical intervention in birth is good too.

Nope - any decent therapist will emphasise that there is no ‘failure’. It’s about being in control (as much as you can) of the procedure and keeping calm (it’s easy to panic of your don’t know what’s happening).

You can get some crank therapists though, who spout utter nonsense and promise the earth. Anyone who offers ‘guarantee’ is a big fat fibber.

How can Hypno birthing stop a baby who moves position at the last minute or make your hips wider and the head smaller? Or any of the numerous other things that physically cannot be helped?

Will it help at the start before physical stuff kicks in?? Yes!!

Corpus, it's not just Hypno birthing though, it's also the NCT and their famous scented candle 🕯️ idea that gets people through the birth

Anything that's presented like this may make New mum's feel likes a failure??

Because they haven't done something right...

It's very very wrong and all this stuff was exposed a few years ago.

The aim is to keep you calm and able to think straight - if your are are in pain or frightened and stressed out that only makes things worse (and isn’t good for the baby either) doesn’t it?

It’s not a magic wand - anyone guaranteeing a ‘good birth’ needs a kick up the bum.

As a therapist I came across one who said he could cure cancer - that’s what he actually told me. Dad was at the end of his life with terminal cancer then and I went mad (my brother had been going on about special medicine he could get if her flew to Brazil, etc etc).

Yes, I told on this bloody Harley street fraud.

So anyone making promises of any therapy rings a flipping great big bell.

@Obira

Hypnobirthing won’t prevent you having medical problems or needing a c-section.

This. In my experience, hypnobirthing was an excellent way to manage contractions(second stage labour) & would recommend it. Just a word of caution, my most comfortable position was standing so I stood for 12+ hrs, leaning on a heighten bed with no additional pain relief & very little intervention from midwives all facilitated by hypnobirthing, felt superhuman! However my baby was back to back & after standing for so long my cervix began to swell not dilate & after several hours at 9cm a non emergency section was my outcome. Fair to say I was anxious at the time as I have significant spinal issues & wanted to avoid a spinal anethestia at all costs & was disappointed not to experience a vaginally birth, nonetheless 10yrs later I have some lovey & funny memories of my hypno hours! Good luck!

I took an online course for just £34 and I'm glad I did as I learnt a lot about labour as a whole (I was previously very unaware, which was my own choice).

It included aspects of hypnobirthing and I do think that it helped me in the lead up to, and during labour. However, it only got me so far and despite my best efforts at trying to remember what I'd learnt and control my breathing, it all went out the window at 3cm as I was just in too much pain.

That's not to say that it won't work for you. It certainly seems to work for a lot of people. It stopped working for me as a result of the length of time I'd been awake, in hospital, and the circumstances that I went through.

Personally, I'd still recommend trying it. I did manage to keep calm and focused until a certain point, which I don't think I could have done without having taken the course.

I remember my midwife asking what I wanted in my birth plan. I stated I didn't really want anything in it as anything could happen. Other than I preferred to have no pain relief other than gas and air but if I needed more that would be fine. I also stated I wanted to avoid an epidural as far as possible (I knew someone where the epidural paralysed the upper rather than lower half of her body and was scared of this/Other complications). As it was my first was back to back so very painful. I had gas and air and wanted further pain relief but couldn't physically speak due to the pain so I couldn't ask for it. However this prompted me to take a white board to my second birth.

My second I ended up with an epidural after the baby was born because my placenta was stuck. Both babies heart rates dipped ridiculously low I had to be monitored so no waterbirth which I'd have loved to try as I love being in water. I also haemorrhaged with both and required many transfusions so was so glad I was in the hospital (my sister really tried to pressure me into a home birth and thank goodness I didn't as I'd have lost both babies and my life.

What I'd say is go in with no expectations of the perfect birth, accept anything can happen and have someone there who will advocate for you with your best interests in mind. If you feel hypnobirthing can help you remain calm then that's a really great tool to have!

My midwives said they didn't buy into birth plans because it was impossible to plan a birth and it led to a lot of disappointment and feeling guilty for no reason.

Unfortunately, I had to be induced due to my waters fully breaking and labour stalling.

Hypnobirthing helped me stay calm and I managed to breath through a large part of a painful, long labour. In the end , I requested an epidural which partly led me to require a forceps delivery for dc.

Luckily, I only had a small tear and it healed well, I had no other issues elsewhere - I like to think that is partly down to relaxing and using my breathing techniques when pushing.

It did help me feel calm in the first half of labour but my son was back to back, I was practically abandoned overnight for the first night, needed forceps and unfortunately he has cerebral palsy as a consequence of the three day birth....BUT I would still absolutely recommend it as a way to help you stay calm, just don't rely on it, expect the unexpected and certainly don't feel guilty if things don't go to plan.

Hypnobirthing made zero difference to my waters going early and baby become high risk due to infection resulting in induction and EMCS. You sound a lot like someone I went to school with who is now a hypnobirth practitioner who's main page is "I trust my body" and "I was built to do this". Well I trust my body but the risk to my baby won out..

Luckily, I only had a small tear and it healed well, I had no other issues elsewhere - I like to think that is partly down to relaxing and using my breathing techniques when pushing.

Yeah... I mean, I'm sure it is nice to think that but I'm also sure that it's not actually true.

Unless you think that women who have more major tears or lasting pelvic floor damage from instrumental births and protracted labours just weren't doing the breathing techniques properly?

It's luck op. I have had 3 Dcs, great births. One with an epidural which was magical , no issues at all, home hours later. Two without any pain relief and one of those was pretty tough. I was younger than you though but still think it's luck. Zero issues with breastfeeding which was also mainly luck, body back to normal etc. Buuuuut two of mine didn't sleep for years and years.. followed all the advice , did everything "right ". That was luck too .. there's a lot of that in parenting! Lots of ppl will attribute great births , great sleepy babies to something they did or do ..it really really isn't and after 3 I know that v well

Yes....I have a relative who is v v alternative and can't handle the thought of someone totally healthy getting cancer. I remember a friend of ours ( young, very active, v healthy etc) who got cancer and we were all shocked of course and I remember her saying "but there must be something , it must have been the food they were consuming" .... It's the same re births , if someone got a C-section it must be because they didn't "relax" enough as you know contractions slow down when you are stressed like in nature, someone send that memo to all the women giving birth in warzones..

I did everything correctly, was extremely fit and healthy, still doing spin classes at 8 months, loads of pregnant yoga and hypnosis birthing techniques, whale music the lot. Ended up having emergency section. Like a fool I tried for a VBAC with the second, another emergency c-section. Turns due to my birth canal I’d struggle to ever give birth naturally. Crack on with anything that makes you feel better pre birth but honestly you just don’t know what will happen so have open mind. Personally I’d choose section over forceps

@DazzlePaintedBattlePants

It’s money making snake oil that preys on women’s insecurities IMO.

After an extremely painful and rapid Labour that ended in EMCS due to DC being breech, I was left with a huge sense of failure, despite the section being the most positive part of the birth, with a fab medical team. Turns out if you spend months repeating drivel like “my body is strong and capable of a gentle birth” and you wind up with interventions, it’s a complete headfuck, even when those interventions are life saving.

Seriously? Hypobirthing has been proved to help a lot of women and babies. Yes things can go wrong and once you’re in hospital it’s pretty hard for things to go naturally, but that’s nothing to do with hypnobirthing. Midwives recommend it. Only reason I got through my contractions tbh!

I don't know if you'll get a fully representative sample from your question OP as maybe people who've had more straightforward labours and births are less likely to comment ?

If you practice the hypnobirthing breathing techniques it's a good way to prepare for whatever might happen as it is a tool I found helped keep me grounded in those early phases of labour.

In my experience, even being in hospital is no impediment to a natural birth I pushed for two hours too long because the midwives in the hospital-sited birth unit were so determined to keep things natural. At the end of the day, the things that ensured that my child arrived safely were the foetal monitoring that told us that she was getting distressed and the skilful forceps delivery performed by the registrar, not the hypnobirthing and the clary sage that the midwives wafted around me. Because, as I've said, no amount of breathing technique helps when your baby gets stuck.

The whole message of 'My body can do this' is lovely, except that historically it's been proven by pre-modern medicine maternal mortality rates that it just isn't necessarily true. Hypnobirthing would be much better promoted as a tool that may be useful for some women during birth rather than as a panacea that will get you through anything as long as you try hard enough, because as soon as we view it as the latter, we're inevitably setting a lot of women up for a lot of disappointment.

@SpaghettiNotCourgetti

Luckily, I only had a small tear and it healed well, I had no other issues elsewhere - I like to think that is partly down to relaxing and using my breathing techniques when pushing.

Yeah... I mean, I'm sure it is nice to think that but I'm also sure that it's not actually true.

Unless you think that women who have more major tears or lasting pelvic floor damage from instrumental births and protracted labours just weren't doing the breathing techniques properly?

Of course I don’t think that.

I had a 2 day labour and my dc and I were in hospital for nearly a week after the birth due to me picking up an infection…no amount of hypnobirthing would have prevented that.

I was just talking about my own experience.
The op asked a question, and I wanted to give an honest answer.

I do believe my tear would have been worse had I not been able to breath and push the way I had, the doctor ‘might’ have had to use the forceps with more prolonged force which ‘might’ have caused serious internal damage. Forceps deliver can be dangerous for both baby and mother. All childbirth is unpredictable and every woman is different.
That’s also why I said, I like to think it ‘partly’ helped me.

Hypnobirthing, for me, helped keep me calm in what was actually not a straight forward labour & birth.

When I said I was relaxed, I wasn’t saying ‘oh, other women can’t have been relaxed, that’s why they had a difficult birth’
Again, I am purely talking about my own experience. I would never be dismissive of another woman’s experience and would hope that no one would be dismissive of mine.

I did hypnobirthing stuff, was totally against (scared of) having an epidural. Went 2 weeks 2 days over, refused to go for induction as I thought it would start a cascade of interventions. Had a doula.

Ended up getting a sweep to shut the midwives up. Daughter born 2 days later after what my doula called a 'textbook first labour'. Not textbook birth though, cos that ended with epidural after all. No other interventions though, no gas and air all along, nothing needed to 'help', just needed a proper rest for the last 2 hours.

Was still 'fine' though and I don't look back on it as a negative experience. Not what I wanted, feeling in legs didn't come back for ages, second degree tear etc, but I was riding a bike within a fortnight.

Good luck!

I would try not to be sold on the idea that if you do XY or Z you will end up with a 'better' birth. The only things you can really do to make sure that happens is get pregnant young with a small baby and be incredibly fit and healthy (which let's face it, are mostly things you can't control).

I plan to learn about hypnobirthing because it can't hurt, but I feel quite protective about women being sold the idea that they can prepare their way out of complicated or traumatic births. So much of it is down to luck. As long as you are treated with respect and dignity, given consent at every turn, and you and the baby come out of it safety, I think that's probably enough to aim for.

Try not to fall into the trap of wanting the A+ birth where you do it without any pain relief and you're at yoga the next day.