To ask if anyone had a bad birth experience despite using hypnobirthing techniques?

[Movingsoon21]

I'm due to have my first child in a few weeks and I've been reading a lot of confusing/conflicting papers and statistics when trying to work out the best options for my birth preferences. None seem to reference specific factors of vaginal deliveries that lead to forceps delivery, which I really want to avoid.

I'm lucky to have a low risk pregnancy, am early 30s and generally fit and healthy. This profile leads the midwives to guide me to a vaginal delivery in an MLU, which sounds like it can be a great experience, especially when coupled with hypnobirthing techniques (e.g. using the BRAIN system for decision-making, using up/down breathing for coping with contractions and pushing, focusing on things that will increase oxytocin and reduce adrenalin etc). I have some friends who have had brilliant experiences in these circumstances.

However, I also have a number of friends who have ended up with traumatic vaginal deliveries, ending with forceps/EMCS and lasting internal damage. I haven't asked them whether they tried to use hypnobirthing techniques as I don't want to pry or potentially upset them, but I'm pretty sure at least some of them didn't.

I was therefore just wondering, as I can't find any studies on this, how much the hypnobirthing techniques actually help to move you into the "good outcome" vaginal delivery group (assuming you are otherwise low risk), or whether it's really all down to luck?

Did anyone on here with a low risk pregnancy follow hypnobirthing and still end up with a bad birth experience/bad post-natal recovery outcomes such as third/fourth degree tears or incontinence? TIA.

I used hypnobirthing for my second but had a very quick labour , under two hours and about five minutes after arriving in hospital, but my first was only five hours (unassisted birth at home on the sofa) so probably just my body. I did practice yoga during both pregnancies, bounced on ball etc and said no to suggestions of induction both times as there was no reason for them.I was told about BRAIN during yoga sessions.

I found the hypnobirthing very empowering and I printed the affirmation 'my body is strong and capable' and put it in my car.

I sort of panicked approaching labour how I would play the music etc but then I downloaded the Freya app which combines contraction timing, counting you through breathing and tracks in between. At the start of every contraction you press button and a voice counts breaths, it was great. I had no pain relief but then again I didn't have much time in hospital.

Trust your body and accept that intervention might be required. But hypnobirthing prepares you for things not going to 'plan'.

Me. I had a 4 day labour, ended up with an epidural, having to have a hormone drip, episiotomy and retained placenta that had to be manually removed.

But I had the same issue with lack of hormones with my second, so I think it's just me, and I'm not sure the best hypnotic experience ever can change a massive lack of hormone.

Also from the group that I went to, the vast majority of them did have very straightforward births. And other groups I went to like nct, hardly anyone had a straightforward birth. So from my limited experience of maybe 20 people, it did make a positive difference, although maybe not as much as people think, but only if there were no medical complications.

I don't think it generally does any harm, unless the instructor has an anti medical agenda

I had one simple birth and one complex and traumatic birth.

Hypnobirthing is not a solution to all ills, but I did fine it helpful in staying calm at points in both deliveries.

I used hynobirthing and they won't stop medical emergencies but they can maybe help you deal with the situation. It shouldn't Reay be called hypnobirthing because it is all amount helping calm your body the same as a lot of anxiety coping methods.

I would say the biggest difference between births and mothers feeling largely depends upon staff from my experience and speaking to others. Having a midwife who does her job and supports the mother to me is the single biggest difference between a positive birth and a 'negative' birth. I had a midwife who dismissed me, didn't listen, was arrogant and I presume was too busy having a cuppa tea to actually bother doing her job since she sure as wasn't doing her job of looking after a woman in labour.

@FusionChefGeoff

I think the main thing that will prevent a forceps delivery is you saying clearly and repeatedly "I don't want a forceps delivery" then hopefully they'd go to an EMCS instead

Yeah this happened to me. I think the (in my case half-hearted) hypnobirthing stuff probably helped me keep calm enough to ask for an EMCS when it got to the point where it was clearly going to be either /or. I only really felt strongly about this due to a recent forceps horror story from SIL but actually her and her baby both came out of it absolutely fine in the long term, she had a bigger than average blood loss and an extra night in hospital but never any worries about the baby and a full recovery and has had lovely calm intervention free vaginal birth since. This aside obviously you could be at a point where the forceps would be the safer option anyway.

No lasting ill effects from my EMCS apart from a feeling of failure which I also blame the hypnobirthing for (so any postive effects were probably cancelled out tbh!) Got over this and had an elective 2nd time round rather than trying for a VBAC with absolutely no regrets. You can't really predict what sort of birth you have and a few years down the line you probably won't care.

It can help you keep calm. I don't believe it helps with the pain or with the outcome. Age is too little talked about as a factor. It's well known that older women may struggle to get pregnant, but actually giving birth also gets much riskier. People in their twenties are much more likely to have straight forward deliveries. Not a lot you can do about it obviously.

Ex-H and I did a long, one-on-one course with a hypnobirthing practitioner. I did all of the daily practise and affirmations, visualisations, listened to the CD etc etc. I even rocked up to the labour ward with a bottle of lavender oil and a tube of arnica gel, like an utter muppet - I was totally into it and convinced it would really help.

The ultimate reality of a 47 hour labour with no pain relief that worked was that I was delirious with pain and begging ex-H to bring me something I could use to kill myself with and end the torture. It was brutal and horrific and I needed medical intervention to get DC out alive, and suffered with PTSD from birth trauma for three years after the birth, until I found a great specialist counsellor who helped me process the experience.

If by pure chance you have a straightforward birth with no problems then hypnobirthing might help you to feel more relaxed or calmer. But it will never prevent difficult births which need medical intervention. Both DC and I would have died if a doctor hadn’t cut me and dragged the baby out - no amount of visualisations and ‘breathing the baby out’ would have saved us. It’s impossible to concentrate on ‘waves’ etc when you’re so delirious with pain you don’t know where you are or what’s going on.

What hypnobirthing did give me was a huge sense of failure. It was one more thing I’d fucked up and failed at. The course and book both made it clear that when women needed medical intervention it was because they hadn’t tried hard enough or done it properly. The book actually gave an example of a woman who’d done the course but ultimately needed a highly medicalised birth and said that she must have secretly wanted it that way and self-sabotaged because she liked fuss and drama and to be the centre of attention! Utter bollocks, but it’s a great marketing ploy because each time a woman ‘fails’ at it then it’s made out to be her fault for not really trying hard enough/ wanting it enough/caring about her baby enough. And that makes me angry.

I would say the biggest difference between births and mothers feeling largely depends upon staff from my experience and speaking to others. Having a midwife who does her job and supports the mother to me is the single biggest difference between a positive birth and a 'negative' birth

Very true. I had a horrific first birth with pre eclampsia, induction, severe tear. I felt well cared for and it was a positive experience despite all that (it was painful and unpleasant but never scary).

I have very mixed feelings about hypnobirthing.
I used it with both of my births, particularly the breathing techniques. First birth required every drug going and forceps. Second birth was super quick and easy really.
One thing I would say is that I was very scared of forceps before giving birth but actually I healed very well, and didn’t even have a graze with second big baby.

I followed hypnobirthing but still didn't have the confidence to decline an induction, as I was basically made to feel that if anything bad happened/my baby died it would be my fault if I wasnt induced. I couldn't handle the guilt. My birth wasnt traumatic as such but was everything I didnt want (consultant room, legs in the air, coached pushing). I tried to position myself in the ways hypnobirthing teaches, but was told the monitors didnt work that way so I had to be on my back. I still feel frustrated that this happened, and I could have had a 'better' birth if I had been stronger

Next time I will decline any late stage growth scans (which was the trigger for induction, and was extremely inaccurate) and will insist on a home water birth like I had planned this time

Difficult births are the result of medical issues that have nothing to do with your state of mind. I think that getting hung up on this stuff actually leads to women being disappointed in some way with the birth. The aim is a safe delivery of your child.

The best thing I did for my mental health to prepare for birth was not write a birth plan. Just accept that things will be out of your control, and go with the flow. Think of hypnobirthing as a tool to keep you calm, not a tool to control the birth.

I saw loads of women on my fb due date group tying themselves in knots about refusing medical intervention, not wanting a c section etc. A lot of it seemed to come from hypnobirthing courses which seemed to push 'natural birthing' as best. It caused a lot of upset and bitterness amongst them when some inevitably needed an emergency c section. They felt like they had failed, it was shit and sad to see.

The only thing I wanted was music, which I got by playing it through my phone. Don't focus on the perfect birth, just focus on your baby being here. Good luck OP!

I found the deep breathing techniques from pregnancy yoga really useful.
I remember before I'd given birth having lots of notions about what it was going to be like, and spent a lot of time hoping for a natural birth with no interventions, because you are given the impression that is better somehow.
Labour was totally different from what I had imagined or could have envisaged. My baby needed EC to arrive, but we were treated well, he was safe and I healed well.
The best advice I can give you is (especially if you have a meditation practice) is to not read or think too much about the details now, relax loads, and try to accept your body will know what to do, and the medical staff will help you.
Take care of yourself xx

I found hypnobirthing useful during the early parts of labour but not later on. I would recommend the Positive Birth Company as they don't make you feel guilty about interventions and give you some useful tools to help you make decisions during labour. Just take everything they say about the second stage with a pinch of salt.

I did hypnobirthing. It did not move me into a ‘good outcome’ vaginal birth.

In my experience epidurals and being induced leads to higher rates of assisted births. Good luck OP, what will be will be

I used to teach it (I was already a therapist and did the training when I was pregnant rather than see a hypo birthing practitioner - because therapists are dreadful patients).

I just had the one that wasn’t ’’good’ - the mum who had an emergency c section (baby was in distress) and she told me that although it wasn’t the birth she wanted, she and her husband believed that the exercises and prep helped them through this stressful time and allowed them to keep calm and feel that they were in control (of what they could control - so asking questions, understanding what was happening and why).

It helps your chances and is excellent at managing contractions.

I loved how it gave you knowledge and empowered you so you can be the one to say “nope! No forceps, C-section please and here’s why”.

Hypnobirthing is a mind over matter technique to help the mum feel a bit more calm. It will have little or no impact on the potential medical complications of childbirth I’m afraid.

I used hypnobirthing techniques but unfortunately I was induced for reduced foetal movements and ended up with the classic cascade of interventions ending in an EMCS.

I had a very straightforward recovery though.

It might have worked well if I'd gone into labour spontaneously and it did help me manage the contraction pain before my syntocinon was increased to a very high dose and I decided to have an epidural.

The epidural was fantastic.

Having my DS I was early 30s, fit, low risk, did hypnobirthing, went to a midwife unit and spent lots of my labour in water or moving around. I still needed forceps at the end. Unfortunately DS's head presented wrong so there was little chance of me getting him out. I think you have to go into first births with an open mind and flexible birth plan rather then number crunching an analysing. I pretty much had my worst case scenario birth with DS but now I'm a couple of weeks off having my second, so it didn't put me off!

I think it’s worth noting the very high rates of maternal and/or perinatal deaths during childbirth in the days before modern medicine. I doubt hypnobirthing would have reduced these, though these women would have had natural childbirths. Interventions and doctors aren’t the enemy when it comes to giving birth.

Like PP have said, unfortunately hypnobirthing doesn’t guarantee you the birth you want (in fact nothing does - there are too many variables, too many unknowns and luck is a major factor). Breathing techniques helped me stay calm in an emergency situation and to be present for my baby when they needed it, but the expertise of doctors, midwives and other medical professionals attending was what actually made the difference.

OP I wonder if talking to someone - your midwife, or a perinatal mental health professional, about pre-birth anxiety might be helpful? All your concerns sound completely understandable and valid, but as pretty much everyone is saying, there isn’t a magic bullet to guarantee a certain type of birth. However, there are MANY professionals from many backgrounds - midwives, doulas, therapists, consultants, hypnobirthing practitioners, and others who can help YOU to feel in a good place prior to the birth, and to provide whatever support you may feel is beneficial afterwards.

FWIW I’m also due with my 2nd any day now; I have spoken to a lot of professionals of many different stripes to prepare and try and avoid the same outcome as last time. But the most important thing I’m taking forward, based on my past experience, is whatever happens we’ll get through it.

Wishing you the best of luck x

I just wanted to say, I had an unsuccessful forceps delivery converted to an emergency caesarean, but it was absolutely not a negative experience! In fact it was a really lovely experience. I had a wonderful midwife looking after me and felt very safe throughout. Just because you don’t breathe the baby out in a pool with a load of fairy lights and pan-pipe music doesn’t mean it’s awful.

All the very best for your birth & motherhood

I read and listened to a hypnobirthing course and felt it allowed me to learn good coping mechanisms to keep as calm as possible. However it doesn't dictate how your birth will go as there are so many things that can happen outwith your control. Don't go in with a set plan, but go in feeling as mentally prepared as possible. My 1st was a tough labour, my 2nd was a pool birth in 20 mins with no pain relief. Nothing I could have done would have prepared me for either. Every baby and birth is unique.