This is long and I know that I am probably overreacting a bit and need a kick up the backside for getting so worked up about cake, but I cannot shake a feeling of complete annoyance about every aspect of this very long and boring story.
A couple of years ago I tried my hand at making Christmas cake. I took it along to DPs family's house for Christmas, as a little extra contribution as well as the usual wine and flowers. Everyone said they loved it (apart from DP as he doesn't like fruit cake and refuses to even try it). DPs mum told me I should make a christmas cake every year because it was so lovely. So this xmas just gone I made another. This time I added more brandy because DPs mum had said she loved the taste of brandy in the cake and it could even do with more. This time everyone loved and raved about it even more than the last year. DPs mum went on and on about how lovely it was, that I should do it professionally etc etc...on Boxing Day she was talking about her brother's birthday coming up the following March (this month) and that it was a milestone one so we should arrange something special. She then said what would be lovely would be if I made my fruitcake for him, as his birthday cake. Except a bigger version and in a round shape rather than the loaf shape I did for Christmas. She said she would buy all the ingredients and she would get her DH (who used to be a professional baker) to ice it. I felt a bit apprehensive because the christmas cake hadn't exactly been easy and I thought an even bigger one would be more stress and obviously more pressure as it would be for a milestone birthday for a member of the family I didn't know that well. I couldn't exactly say no though - she didn't really pose it as a question and had gone on so much about what a special birthday it was and how fruit cake is his favourite and it would be so lovely for him. So, I agreed. She said she was sure the cake would be amazing because I'm 'such an amazing baker' and she said multiple times 'make it exactly like this one because this one is amazing' and she said how nice the brandy was and how much her brother loved brandy aswell and he would love my version of fruitcake. (My version is different to traditional fruit cake in that its lighter and more moist, sort of like a teacake, in part because I use caster sugar instead of heavy dark brown sugar.)
I'm short on money, otherwise I wouldn't have accepted her offer to buy all the ingredients and would have bought them myself (and now wish I had). But being short of money I didn't really have a choice. So in January I sent her a list of ingredients I would need - because she had said again and again 'make it exactly like the one you made for Christmas', I sent a detailed breakdown of the exact ingredients I used. 'Half caster sugar, half muscovado sugar' etc etc and of course, the thing she said she liked most, brandy.
She replied the next day with a long message explaining what ingredients she had sent over to me along with my DP. She had changed almost every ingredient - the supermarket didn't have the type of fruit I had said, so she had sent some currents she had at home, her DH (in his expertise) had said that dark brown sugar was nicer for fruit cake so she had got that instead of caster and muscovado, she had half a tub of spread at home that would do instead of butter etc etc, and she had sent a lemon for me to add because she thought it would be nice to have lemon zest. She also said she wanted cherries in it but couldn't find any so could I get some? The most bizarre alteration was that she said instead of buying brandy, they had a little bit of port in their kitchen left over from Christmas so she had sent that instead! After raving so much about how lovely the brandy taste was and how much her brother would love the brandy in the cake.
She then said that her DH, again in his role as ex baker, had said that its important to soak the fruit for three days before baking. This is something that I had not bothered with for the two christmas cakes I made for them, and I had told her this. But she sent me a long message with lots of tips and advice from her DH on how to soak the fruit - an added job for me that I hadn't anticipated. I was also thrown off a bit by the lemon that she wanted me to use to add lemon zest - again something I didn't bother with for my first two cakes (which at this point I will remind you that they all said were amazing and they wanted this birthday cake to be EXACTLY LIKE THEM).
So from the start I was thinking 'this is no longer my cake, she's asking me to use completely different ingredients and a completely different method so it's not going to be at all like the one I did for Christmas.' But I persevered and got ready to make the cake when my DP came for the weekend and brought the ingredients.
When making the cake, I found that the half tub of spread that she had left over and had sent instead of butter (which had bits of toast in it by the way) didn't even make up half of the required measurement of butter in the recipe I had sent her. So I had to use some margarine that I had left over in my fridge to make it up, mixing the ingredients up even more. I then looked at the bottle of port they had sent and saw that there was a tiny little bit in the bottom, that she expected me to use to soak 1kg of dried fruit, and to put into the mixture (which should be at least a couple of tablespoons but I had told her that in order to get that lovely brandy taste I had actually put a fair bit more than that in) AND to feed it with after. There was no way it would cover it.
My first reaction was that she had been cheap with the ingredients - sending stuff she just had in that didn't even match the recipe or cover the required measurements - but DP assured me it wouldn't be that, it was because his mum doesn't have a clue about baking and how things work so she would have thought it was fine, and her DH is a bit useless and probably didn't offer any help even though he does know about cakes.
Anyway we looked on the internet about how much alcohol is needed for soaking and one site said a litre. So we went out and bought a litre of brandy, to add to the port. I thought that was best anyway because she had wanted the brandy taste.
We made the cake. DP helped out and when it came to adding the brandy to the mixture he got silly and splashed way too much in, despite me saying it only needed a few tablespoons. He said it would be funny if everyone got drunk from the cake...I tasted the mixture and I was a little concerned that the brandy taste was very strong, but when it came out of the oven after two hours (as per the recipe) a skewer came out clean and we had put some of the extra mixture in a bun case in order to test and that bit tasted well cooked and not too strong tasting, I actually thought it had turned out well and tasted lovely.
While messaging DPs mum about the cake I jokingly told her about him adding too much brandy and she replied a few hours later saying she had told her DH and he was very concerned that the cake would taste too much like brandy and would be soggy. I told her that the skewer had come out clean and the bun was fine, so all was ok and DP took it home with him a few days later. His mum sent a gushing message with lots of thanks, saying it looked amazing.
Three days later I got a message from DP saying 'whats the recipe for the cake?' I asked why. He replied with 'The cake has gone wrong. They said we shouldn't have soaked it in so much brandy and I have ruined it by putting too much brandy in the mixture. They also said two hours in the oven wasn't long enough.'
He then sent a picture of the cake, on their dining room table, cut into down the middle and cracked at the side. Apparently they had put the end of a knife through it and it had come out covered in mixture. They had baked it for an extra two hours but it didn't do any good so they had cut into it and found that it was soggy and barely cooked in the middle. I asked why my skewer came out clean and apparently their response was that I should have used a knife, that's how you really tell...
DPs Dad said there was no way we needed 1litre of brandy to soak and that had probably added to it being too dense with liquid. I DIDN'T EVEN WANT TO SOAK THE FRUIT IN THE FIRST PLACE!
DP pointed out that the spread his mum had sent was actually quite greasy and the mixture seemed very oily, not just dense with brandy. They said this wouldn't have made a difference, it was definitely the brandy.
Anyway his mum said the outside bits were OK so she had sectioned it off, kept some for them to eat, taken some over to her brother (the one who's birthday it was) to have and boxed some up for me. I offered to make another one. She said her brother wouldn't want fruit cake again after having some of the (ruined) cake, so she would just buy him one.
When DP brought over my share of the cake, it was undercooked and barely edible. I wondered why they had thought it was good enough to send to brother and that after having it he wouldn't need fruit cake again in a couple of months, if it was that bad. Or maybe they kept the outside bits that were OK for themselves and sent me the crappy undercooked middle bit.
I have multiple AIBUs actually:
AIBU to think that if you ask someone to make a cake for you because you loved their version so much, you don't start substituting/adding ingredients and directing how they make it?
AIBU to think that if its for a special occasion you don't use left over spread with toast in it for the butter and a tablespoon of port instead of a decent amount of brandy?
AIBU to think that if DPs dad is so good at baking and knows so much about how to soak fruit, how long to bake a fruit cake for and how best to test when its done, he should have done it himself?
AIBU to be pissed at DP for messing around and adding too much brandy when he wasn't even going to eat any of the cake?
AIBU to think that if a cake isn't good enough to eat as a birthday cake its not good enough to send as a gift and you should just throw it out and let me make another?
AIBU to think they deliberately sent me the most ruined part of the cake and if the outsides were nice, I at least deserved to enjoy that part of the cake like they did, since I had the stress of making it?
AIBU to never ever agree to make a cake for anyone ever again?
RANT OVER.