Advertising I’m a female?

[SparrowLand]

Hi! I recently passed my driving test (after a long wait!) and got my first car. I am disabled so having a car is a HUGE deal to me because it’s given me a sense of freedom I didn’t even know I could have.

Anyway, because of this, I am super excited. I’ve bought a few nice things to put into my car. Nothing extravagant or OTT but black floor mats with pink trims, a couple of girly looking air vent clips, pink coasters to go in the cup holders, a stereotypically ‘girly’ looking air freshener and a few other small bits.

I picked my Mum up yesterday and she told me I was putting a target on myself as people would walk past my car and know I am automatically a female. I am usually extra safe and nervous with things like this due to past life experiences so I’m wondering if I’m being stupid. As I said, it’s not OTT and I don’t have a pink fluffy steering wheel cover, pink seats or anything dramatic like that but if you glanced through the window you would probably presume it was a woman’s car. I just got over excited because it’s my first car and it means so much to me to finally have one and I don’t know if I should take it out to be safe or if my Mum is being dramatic?

FWIW, I live in a flat that has secure underground parking but obviously it isn’t kept there all of the time. I’m not asking your personal opinion on having these things in the car and if they look nice, as I know it isn’t for everyone. I’m just questioning the safety aspect of it.

I would never have thought of that.you could say the same for parents with baby on board signs, granny driver signs etc
Just enjoy your new car and the freedom it brings you

I had a beetle when I was young, put eyelashes on it. Do what you like OP! We can't live our lives as women modifying our choices in case a man attacks us

I think your mother is being a bit over-cautious. Well done on passing your test and enjoy that new-found freedom. I'm also disabled so I know how important that sense of independence is. Make the most of it.

It's embarrassing and tasteless but I don't think it's dangerous.

@TristesseDurera

It's embarrassing and tasteless but I don't think it's dangerous.

I find this response embarrassing and tasteless.

I think your mum sounds ott.
It’s lovely that you’re finally driving and so excited.
Enjoy your freedom.

I think your mother as PP said is just being over cautious now you're driving. Thieves are thieves regardless of who they target and I wouldn't imagine your pink coasters being any more of a target than black/stainless steel coverings. Enjoy your new freedom!!

OP if you have a certain type of car e.g. Fiat 500 most other drivers will automatically presume you are female anyway until they pass you and can confirm.

I think I am pretty safety conscious and risk averse, but I have to say, this is not something I have ever heard of as being a thing before. I am not sure it makes much sense either, predators hang about looking for lone females not pink fluffy dice in a car.

@TristesseDurera

It's embarrassing and tasteless but I don't think it's dangerous.

Someone already beat me to it but the only thing I’m seeing as embarrassing on this thread is your response, when OP specifically stated she didn’t want opinions.

Well done on passing your test OP. I have health problems too and I know how much having a car can mean. Like other PP, I had eyelashes on my first car! They looked ridiculous and kept falling off but I loved them.

I am so angry that women are expected to change and deny themselves every small pleasure because men can’t control their behaviour. I guess it depends where you go and where your car is parked, but I would say ignore your mother, do what makes you happy. Congratulations on your new found freedom. I wish you many miles of happy motoring.

@CityHigh

I find this response embarrassing and tasteless.

That's absolutely fine. Taste is, by definition, subjective.

@TristesseDurera

It's embarrassing and tasteless but I don't think it's dangerous.

Black floor mats with pink trims are embarrassing? You should see my house!

TristesseDurera
“It's embarrassing and tasteless but I don't think it's dangerous.”

Oh, give over, miserable sod.

Congratulations! Your mum is worrying about you but overly so.

Enjoy your car

i’ve bought a few nice things to put into my car. Nothing extravagant or OTT but black floor mats with pink trims, a couple of girly looking air vent clips, pink coasters to go in the cup holders, a stereotypically ‘girly’ looking air freshener and a few other small bits.

it's not to my taste but i do wish people wouldn't use the expression "stereotypically girly" because if that were wiped out your car wouldn't, in your mum's opinion, mark you out as female.

I always wanted a perlised-pink soft-top mini (one of the old ones, not the new ones) with eyelashes and walnut trim because I think that's cute. But I don't care to be called girly (since my other dream vehicle right now is a pick up truck with a gun rack)

OP, is you Mum generally quite critical or over protective? I don't think what she said was very kind but only you know her.

Congratulations! Enjoy your freedom, enjoy your car and enjoy your style!

@JuteWeaver

I think your mother is being a bit over-cautious. Well done on passing your test and enjoy that new-found freedom. I'm also disabled so I know how important that sense of independence is. Make the most of it.

Excellent reply. Congratulations on passing your test, OP

@TristesseDurera

It's embarrassing and tasteless but I don't think it's dangerous.

That’s it, OP - someone on mumsnet declared it tasteless therefore you must immediately throw the whole lot out and seek out classy decorations only.

I’m fairly safety conscious because of the country I grew up in and even I would give it a second thought to be honest, specially as what you describe seem to be very minor thing - someone would have to press their noses on to your windows to spot those!

@Ohwowhoho

Black floor mats with pink trims are embarrassing? confused You should see my house!

Not so much the floor mats specifically as the weird obsession with pink everything, everywhere, as if something terrible would happen if we don't All Indicate Unequivocally That We Are Being Female At All Times.

I don't feel like I need to advertise a cartoon stereotype of femininity just to exist in the world.

I can't begin to understand the thought process behind putting eyelashes on my car headlights. But then I don't wear false eyelashes on my actual eyes either. I'm really doing womanhood all wrong.

Go for it OP! And congratulations!

My grandparents had cushions (like you put in the sofa) in the back of their car. The first thing I did when I got my first car was buy 2 beautiful flowery cushions for the back seat 🥰 they make me happy as they remind me of my grandparents.

@justasoul
That’s it, OP - someone on mumsnet declared it tasteless therefore you must immediately throw the whole lot out and seek out classy decorations only. grin

I don't expect the op to change her taste on the basis of a random stranger's opinion. Doesn't mean I can't express mine.

Nothing to do with "classy". More that I question why women and girls feel such pressure to perform gendered stereotypes at all times.

TristesseDurera

Not so much the floor mats specifically as the weird obsession with pink everything, everywhere, as if something terrible would happen if we don't All Indicate Unequivocally That We Are Being Female At All Times.

I don't feel like I need to advertise a cartoon stereotype of femininity just to exist in the world.

I can't begin to understand the thought process behind putting eyelashes on my car headlights. But then I don't wear false eyelashes on my actual eyes either. I'm really doing womanhood all wrong.“

This thread isn’t about you and your tastes, though.

Thanks for the comments! I did think she was being over cautious but as it’s my first car I was second guessing myself!

It’s definitely not a fiat 500! It’s actually a big bulky thing due to the nature of my condition as I’ve had to have a few adaptions made to it. In the first week of getting it I had a lot of (unwanted) comments from men asking if I was driving my husbands car

@MrsSkylerWhite

Seems like the op's question has been answered unanimously though.
I thought the question of why women feel they need to perform and advertise their femininity at all times was quite relevant to the thread, and not specific to me, but I shall now leave it for another 1000 posts to say "wow op you sound awesome and your mum is wrong".

[quote TristesseDurera]@Ohwowhoho

Black floor mats with pink trims are embarrassing? confused You should see my house!

Not so much the floor mats specifically as the weird obsession with pink everything, everywhere, as if something terrible would happen if we don't All Indicate Unequivocally That We Are Being Female At All Times.

I don't feel like I need to advertise a cartoon stereotype of femininity just to exist in the world.

I can't begin to understand the thought process behind putting eyelashes on my car headlights. But then I don't wear false eyelashes on my actual eyes either. I'm really doing womanhood all wrong.[/quote]
I don’t have an obsession with pink everything. My floor mats are black with a pink trim and my cup holders are pink. Nothing else in the car is pink.

I like the colour pink because it’s nice. Not because I’m advertising a cartoon stereotype of femininity to the world. Am I supposed to actively avoid that colour so I don’t appear to be cartoon?