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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DH says I’m a baby for wanting to see GP for ear infection

146 replies

Ohtheaudacity · 04/03/2022 06:51

I’ve had a cold all week, standard stuff, but in the last 48 hours it’s gone all to my sinuses and ears. I woke up Wednesday night with horrible ear ache in one ear. It’s only got worse and I’m now totally deaf in said ear, can’t lie on that side for the pain, etc. I’ve not slept at all due to the pain and discomfort. DH says I’m mad to bother the GP with it as it’s “just” an ear infection and I need to tough it out. I understand protecting the nhs and I barely go to the doctors ever other than for pill checks and smears. I’m just really struggling and exhausted. What do I do?

OP posts:
VestaTilley · 04/03/2022 09:52

Definitely go to the GP. Ignore your DH. Sometimes antibiotics are needed and it can get serious.

I had a bad one this summer, it lasted 6 weeks and I was in agony. GP told me to go to A&E who gave me drops and antibiotics. I ended up with painful sinuses for ages and a perforated eardrum. Don’t just leave it.

Is your DH usually this unsupportive?

Haz1234 · 04/03/2022 10:01

Pls see the doctor, I needed amoxicillin for something similar.

HashtagShitShop · 04/03/2022 10:24

Go to the doctor. They should always be treated, especially when that painful. He's not the one who can't sleep at night and has to breastfeed and most likely do the majority share.

My mum suffered 16 discharging ear infections during an ent referal that took even longer than usual from Sept 2019 to Dec 2020.

The doctor only medicated/treated 6 and ignored requests for help for others or outright refused antibiotics. (nothing new. Doctor that works most of the week is useless and doesn't like giving anyone meds. The other doctor and nurses are fab but we were shielders at that time and elderly mum was terrified at the thought of'going to the doctor and leaving with covid' so refused to let me take it further.)

When the ent consultant rang for a telephone consult about the appointment I explained the above. He was HORRIFIED and arranged a same week appt even though the dept was rushed off it's feet (it was also the week before Xmas 2020 at this point) and stayed behind to see her and treat her. He went through to our doctor after and laid into him from what we heard. He'd told only takes one bad bit of the bacteria burying further in the ear and it becomes meningitis.

He's now got us on a bypassing the doctors entirely treatment regime. We are to ring the ent and get straight in there each ear infection now.

Bouledeneige · 04/03/2022 15:01

Go to the chemist

ChannelLightVessel · 04/03/2022 19:31

Another one here. Started as sore throat, then had earache. Incredibly painful, paracetamol and ibuprofen barely touched it. Anyway, I ended up in hospital, with a perforated eardrum and Bell’s palsy on that side of my face. Had to have grommet inserted. Fortunately, my face recovered completely in six weeks, hearing took longer. Ear leaked gunk for following three months.

DisforDarkChocolate · 04/03/2022 19:34

You need to see a GP. Unless it's purely outer ear Ear Calm won't help (chronic ear infection sufferer here). Your GP will not be thinking this is too trivial, they can be incredibly painful and spread easily.

ThisBloodyNoiseInMyHead · 04/03/2022 20:06

It's highly likely that your Eustachian tubes are blocked. A GP once told me that to clear them you need to pick your nostrils closed, then blow hard as if you're blowing your nose. Kee doing that and eventually, it will clear.

Pyewhacket · 04/03/2022 20:17

Ignore your DH and definitely seek medical attention. In the meantime, co-codamol is good for ear ache, especially if you can get hold of the stronger dose. Call 111 if you have to. I work for the NHS and I would treat ear ache immediately.

Original poster
Ohtheaudacity · 04/03/2022 20:42

Wellll it all got a bit dramatic. I went to the GP who was concerned the infection had spread into my jaw, so I was sent to hospital for a scan. They decided it was borderline so I’m back home with pretty heavy duty antibiotics for the next 10 days with a review on Monday if I feel no better. DH is very contrite and has taken over all childcare duties until I’m feeling better. Thanks all for the advice on here, I’d never had an ear infection before so didn’t know if how I was feeling was par for the course.

OP posts:
Mumdiva99 · 04/03/2022 23:41

Blimey. Good job you went. Get well soon.

LightSpeeds · 04/03/2022 23:47

Don't trust him 'diagnosing' the children. Twat!

Holothane · 05/03/2022 00:57

Let him grovel for a few weeks do him good, never allow him near the children if they are poorly.

moita · 05/03/2022 02:46

Wow OP. Poor you

alexdgr8 · 05/03/2022 02:57

glad it's being treated now.
could you send your husband to do a first aid course.
very important with children.
the red cross and st john ambulance do good ones.

DoorWasAJar · 05/03/2022 03:27

LTB

Honestly, people die of sepsis because of protecting the bloody NHS. Good and wise doctors have written about how ‘protect the NHS’ is the worst health advice ever given out and that it’s destroyed many people’s health.

Suzi888 · 05/03/2022 05:04

I left mine and ended up hospitalised with Mastoiditis. I was on an antibiotic drip and oramorph for a week. Tablets from the GP did nothing. Lost my hearing, vertigo, constant vomiting.
Discharged with antibiotic ear drops and a three weeks worth of antibiotics.

Flazeda · 05/03/2022 05:48

Earache and toothache are the worst aches in my opinion, absolutely awful.

Great to hear you've got medication, please take it easy so it has the chance to heal. Maybe this will make your DH reconsider his approach to accessing healthcare.

Migrainesbythedozen · 05/03/2022 06:54

If your 'D'H is like this with doctors, can you trust him as a father? What if one of the children get really sick and he thinks it is all a fuss and the child is being a 'baby' and it is serious? Was he like this about doctors before you had children?

Seriously, this would be LTB territory if my husband and I weren't both on the same page when it came to looking after your health and taking ailments seriously. Could you trust him to put the DC's needs first? I think you need to sit down and have a very, very serious talk with him and why he is so anti doctors, why he thinks it's ok for you to take risks to you health and let it get worse, and what he would do if the DC fell ill.

His attitude is backward, dangerous and disturbing. I could never trust him with my children if he is this negligent and irresponsible.

Onionbhajisandwich · 05/03/2022 07:03

Go to the docs. I had the same thing and it turned out to be worse than “just” an ear infection. I’ve been left with hearing loss and tinnitus in one ear which is an absolute bastard to live with. Go and get it checked x

Migrainesbythedozen · 05/03/2022 07:16

@Onionbhajisandwich She already did, please read all the OP's posts.

cherrytopcake · 05/03/2022 07:21

Go to the GP! You do t want to permanently damage your hearing for goodness sake's

Yellowsubhubabubbub · 05/03/2022 07:25

Uuurgh just because most men would literally rather DIE than go to a GP !?
Ask your pharmacist first ( but from my experience they’re often hazy when it comes to breast feeding) and then get to GP
If DH is frequently an arse re GP, just don’t discuss it with him ( or in future)
Hope you fell better. Go soon and make sure your supply is protected

NameGoesHere · 05/03/2022 07:28

Your dh is such a prick.

AllOfUsAreDead · 05/03/2022 07:29

How else did he expect it to go, magic? Hmm Moron, I'd be expecting grovelling for quite a while after his stupidity. Hope the antibiotics help.

WeirdlyKind · 05/03/2022 07:30

@NameChanger45465465

Book an appointment. But I would suggest the chemist first of your GP wait times are anything like mine !

Olive oil in the ear may soothe it until you can see someone.

Your DP is a moron.

This is terrible advice - please DO NOT put anything in an infected ear, unless it is prescribed. There was a poster on here a while ago who burst her husband's eardrum by fucking around like this!