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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DH says I’m a baby for wanting to see GP for ear infection

146 replies

Ohtheaudacity · 04/03/2022 06:51

I’ve had a cold all week, standard stuff, but in the last 48 hours it’s gone all to my sinuses and ears. I woke up Wednesday night with horrible ear ache in one ear. It’s only got worse and I’m now totally deaf in said ear, can’t lie on that side for the pain, etc. I’ve not slept at all due to the pain and discomfort. DH says I’m mad to bother the GP with it as it’s “just” an ear infection and I need to tough it out. I understand protecting the nhs and I barely go to the doctors ever other than for pill checks and smears. I’m just really struggling and exhausted. What do I do?

OP posts:
MayMorris · 04/03/2022 08:42

@Ohtheaudacity

Would I be unreasonable to attempt to pop my ears, like you would on an aeroplane? Would that help or hinder all this?!
Just leave it. It could burst your drums. Do not put anything smaller than elbow in your ear. Literally. Get the appointment and while you are waiting get some co-codomol or equivalent. It’ll take 2-3 days for antibiotics or other treatments to kick in so you need strong painkillers It’s agony. I go through periods of repeated infection and pain. Didn’t start till my 40s. I thought ear ache was a bit sore till then. Oh how I was so very wrong. Guess your husband is the same.
Grandville · 04/03/2022 08:47

Good luck at the GP!

billy1966 · 04/03/2022 08:48

@GeneLovesJezebel

Yes call the GP. Then a solicitor 🤣
This.

He sounds so awful and uncaring.

An ear infection can be utterly unbearable pain.

Hope you get relief soon.Flowers

Ursusmajor · 04/03/2022 08:53

Try chewing gum rather than popping your ears. Your H is a idiot. He can be stoic until his own ear drums perforate, he shouldn’t tell you not to seek medical help when you’re in pain.

MotherOfCrocodiles · 04/03/2022 08:54

You definitely need treatment, your H is horrible.

If you can't get a go appointment in a reasonable timeframe you could maybe consider an ear cleaning clinic (microsuction). Mine can give antibiotics if necessary, which it sounds like it is.

crochetmylifeaway · 04/03/2022 08:55

As someone who has had lifelong ear issue please go!

Tooth ache and ear ache are the 2 most horrible pains. They are relentless. And the whole "oh the pain goes once the ear drum perforates" is rubbish. It just gets worse.

Ibuprofen and paracetamol. Warm compress (NOT HOT!!) or a cool compress will help in the mean time.

And tell him to shut up. Unless he experiences the pain himself he gets no say!

Chely · 04/03/2022 08:57

Ignore him. IME an ear infection usually needs antibiotics to clear and is bloody awful too.

lockdownhasbrokenme · 04/03/2022 09:06

Hope you get an appointment definitely doing the right thing by seeing a gp.

KevinTheKoala · 04/03/2022 09:06

Well every single time I get an ear infection my eardrum will perforate within 24 hours of getting the first pain so I would never say ignore an ear infection. My hearing is significantly damaged due to repeated ear infections and without antibiotics they never improve. I never knew people could have 'mild' ear infections, I also thought they were debilitating because that's always been my experience.

PeacefulPrune · 04/03/2022 09:07

Get it seen and realise you don't need your partners approval to do things... especially when you're know he's like this with health stuff.

I hope you get better quickly Flowers

godmum56 · 04/03/2022 09:10

@PeacefulPrune

Get it seen and realise you don't need your partners approval to do things... especially when you're know he's like this with health stuff.

I hope you get better quickly Flowers

yup this. the first thing you do is call the doc, the second thing is tell your DH (DH????? what is dear about his behaviour??) to fuck right off.
Prescottdanni123 · 04/03/2022 09:13

Go to the GP. They are there for exactly this type of situation. Protecting the NHS doesn't mean never see a doctor unless you are at death's door.

TragicMuse · 04/03/2022 09:13

I hope you've made an appointment by now.

My main thought is 'so what if he thinks you're a baby?'. He's not king of the world and he's not your boss, it literally doesn't matter what he thinks.

You can go to the doctor's if you want, and nothing your DH says, thinks or feels is even remotely relevant.

If he says anything else I would say 'I was telling, not asking, I don't need your permission to make decisions about my health.'

Is he like this about other things OP? Does he think he's your superior in other matters?

BlingLoving · 04/03/2022 09:14

So funny, I am the one who resists doctors and A&E - DH wanted me to go to A&E last night for a possible infection on my finger and I was completely flabbergasted (and I was right - I told him I'd see dr today if it got worse overnight, and it didn't..). But in this instance, absolutely a DR. At the very least, stronger painkillers. If it's converted to a bacterial infection (and as someone who suffers with sinus issues I know that quite often they start as viral infections - so antibiotics pointless - but can then become bacterial. Not, usually, immediately, but this has been going on for a while), you will need antibiotics to clear it up properly.

RightOnTheEdge · 04/03/2022 09:16

This has made me feel really sad for you OP.
I'm so sorry that you are feeling so ill and in pain and getting no support from this arsehole of a man. He's your husband! He should be supporting and comforting you!
Does he also have this attitude towards his child/children?

He is not just heartless and uncaring he's also very stupid. Go to the GP! I hope you feel better soon Flowers

hangrylady · 04/03/2022 09:16

I remember having an ear infection as an adult and it was the most painful thing ever. Definitely go to GP.

DaphneSprucesPippasClack · 04/03/2022 09:21

DH is being horrid. Let's hope he is more caring with his offspring..

IamEarthymama · 04/03/2022 09:21

My son had constant ear infections as a small child.
They came back in his 20s and he was like your husband.
He has lost his hearing and the inner workings of his left ear, like a pp's mother,and is waiting for yet another operation.

I hope you are waiting for a callback on on your way to GP's surgery.

You will learn that only you lives in your body and knows it.

My usually lovely DW couldn't understand the pain I have from arthritis and was a little mocking/teasing about my use of painkillers and alternative and heat/ice treatments etc.

Them we both had tattoos on our inner wrists to mark our CP.
She went first and sat in the chair, holding back tears and writhing in pain.
I hopped and was absolutely fine, giggling and joking with the lovely artist.
Afterwards DW said she couldn't believe that I didn't feel as much pain as her and has been more sympathetic if I say pain is unbearable.

There's probably no science behind the above tale but I really am glad she felt like that as being in agony and then being told it isn't worth bothering the doctor about is so, so unkind.

MyCatEatsPrawnCrackers · 04/03/2022 09:26

Ear infections can be so incredibly painful! I had one and the GP prescribed antibiotics but the made me hallucinate. I rang the GP back and another doctor took my call, saying to stop the antibiotics and that the infection should settle. A month later I was still in pain and had to go back. I was given stronger antibiotics (by the GP who had told me that it would settle on its own) and I now have some hearing loss and tinnitus. Bugger what your DH thinks and make an appointment with your GP.

HollowTalk · 04/03/2022 09:28

Your husband is an idiot. Whether or not you go to the doctor is nothing to do with him.

shiningstar2 · 04/03/2022 09:30

If you have an ear infection you will need antibiotics to clear it up and you can't get those without seeing a doctor. I had an ear infection years ago. I ignored it at first and it turned agonising. I have never forgotten the pain. What advantage is it to you or the NHS to wait until you get to that stage? Get an appointment and get it sorted before it gets worse.

Onlyforcake · 04/03/2022 09:31

Honestly. My husband had an ear infection. It was awful. It dragged on. He lost hearing in the ear. THEN he had a bells palsy, that side of his face basically switched off because of the pressure on the nerve from the infection. Funnily enough the doctors DID take that seriously and have urged him to seek out a doctor around about the five days mark in future OR at the point the pain is that severe again.
He had to be checked over that it wasn't a stroke. He's had Mri's and ECG's and several hearing tests now. Your husband is in blissful never had a bad infection land.

Onlyforcake · 04/03/2022 09:35

I forgot. He also had the ear drum cut by a ent surgeon and a grommet inserted to relieve the pressure.

icelollycraving · 04/03/2022 09:39

Your body, you decide if you need to see a GP.
That’s what they are there for.
Your husband is a knob.

dottydodah · 04/03/2022 09:51

Please ignore your DH. There is no such thing as "just" an ear infection! You may need antibiotics Please dont leave it .Hope you feel better soon .He is being an idiot!

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