personal hygiene in a marriage

[thatsithen]

Does anyone else struggle with a spouse who thinks it's fair not to wash or to put clean clothes on every day?

I get in trouble for moaning and being negative if i dare mention that clothes stink having been worn for a couple of days and slept in or if I can smell two or three day old soiled underwear from several paces. Apparently I'm prissy and uptight for finding human smells unpleasant.

nb. spouse plentiful supply of clothes, soap, hot water and loads of time

AIBU for being grossed out and a bit angry?

Why are you putting up with this? That’s disgusting.

Do you have sex with this person?

no, there hasn't been any sex for a while, we're even sleeping in separate bedrooms atm

You can deal with this by divorcing the filthy minger.

I couldn’t put up with that. So many men seem to think it’s acceptable to let their personal hygiene slide in long term relationships. Absolutely disgusting.

That's grim.

Is your DH depressed?

When I am struggling hygiene becomes challenging.

Nah- it's gross and disrespectful. Given there is hot water, soap and clean clothes freely available then he needs to bath/shower and change clothes every day. I would not sleep in the same bed as him. He is being a lazy twat and making excuses!

This was one of the issues of unreasonable behaviour we picked, out of many, for my divorce petition from my ex evolting heap of stench.

Soiled underwear? How disgusting.

Does he/she have a medical condition? Or do they really think it's acceptable to wear soiled underwear?

You really shouldn't be washing clothes after one wear - it's terrible for the clothing and the environment. If someone is showering regularly and not doing physical exercise a pair of toruser for example can happily be worn more than once, even a t-shirt can be.

@Keladrythesaviour

You really shouldn't be washing clothes after one wear - it's terrible for the clothing and the environment. If someone is showering regularly and not doing physical exercise a pair of toruser for example can happily be worn more than once, even a t-shirt can be.

If someone is wearing three day old soiled underwear, they’re definitely not showering regularly. Who would sleep / sit in their own shit?

@Keladrythesaviour

You really shouldn't be washing clothes after one wear - it's terrible for the clothing and the environment. If someone is showering regularly and not doing physical exercise a pair of toruser for example can happily be worn more than once, even a t-shirt can be.

You’re completely missing the point.

possibly depressed but in denial
no medical condition, just a high tolerance of skid marks i guess. I'd get a rash if I wore that underwear.

@Keladrythesaviour

You really shouldn't be washing clothes after one wear - it's terrible for the clothing and the environment. If someone is showering regularly and not doing physical exercise a pair of toruser for example can happily be worn more than once, even a t-shirt can be.

I wouldn’t wear a T shirt twice. Something that’s been next to your armpits can never be fresh enough to wear twice, even if you shower everyday etc.

@Keladrythesaviour

You really shouldn't be washing clothes after one wear - it's terrible for the clothing and the environment. If someone is showering regularly and not doing physical exercise a pair of toruser for example can happily be worn more than once, even a t-shirt can be.

Well, yes, but wearing underwear, soiled, smelly underwear for days on end is very very different

I wouldn’t wear a T shirt twice. Something that’s been next to your armpits can never be fresh enough to wear twice, even if you shower everyday etc.

I would wear a jumper or pair of jeans more than once, but not underwear or socks.

@Keladrythesaviour

You really shouldn't be washing clothes after one wear - it's terrible for the clothing and the environment. If someone is showering regularly and not doing physical exercise a pair of toruser for example can happily be worn more than once, even a t-shirt can be.

I think in the case of shitty pants there is an exception!!

He smells and wears dirty undies? Do you need to ask?

Skips a shower occasionally or wears a t shirt more than once is completely different

@thatsithen

possibly depressed but in denial no medical condition, just a high tolerance of skid marks i guess. I'd get a rash if I wore that underwear.

Poor hygiene has a strong link to depression and other MH issues.

I know it doesn't make it any nicer for you!

What did he say when you spoke to him about seeing doctor about depression? Assume he refused to go?

@Keladrythesaviour

You really shouldn't be washing clothes after one wear - it's terrible for the clothing and the environment. If someone is showering regularly and not doing physical exercise a pair of toruser for example can happily be worn more than once, even a t-shirt can be.

I think most adults are capable of not washing clothes too much but washing them enough!!

no excuse for any of this. no clue why you would even be under the same roof?
please explain that.

OP if you’ve offered support for possible depression and he’s not taken you up on it, then don’t feel bad. It’s absolutely disgusting and it would repulse me to the point of considering ending things. It’s really not hard to change our of soiled underwear and shower regularly. Clearly doesn’t care about your feelings at all.

Another thread about dirty undergarments 🤔

@thatsithen

no, there hasn't been any sex for a while, we're even sleeping in separate bedrooms atm

Sound like your are half way out of this marriage. So why not take the final step and leave Nr Stinky Pants behind?

@fallfallfall

no excuse for any of this. no clue why you would even be under the same roof? please explain that.

still under the same roof because it's a nice roof and there is a DC.

inertia.

when questioned about MH spouse insists they're fine

well he is not "fine", he is stinky lazy and self centered.
you are teaching your child that it's better to stay in a dysfunctional relationship for the sake of a roof.
grow a spine woman, but on your big girl pants and show your daughter that self respect is important!
what if she takes up daddy's dirty little habit.
i'm not sorry for being so harsh this is not acceptable on any level.
if you're really married to this man who smells like an asshole your entitled to half the house use it to get a nice clean flat or something reasonable.