Aibu to be a bit miffed at DH?

[fibrecruncher]

I have been ill in bed all day. Embarrassing but I think I have some inflammation in my bowels accompanied with constipation. I've been in a lot of pain since yesterday eve and all today. DH was great, did drop off and pick up of DS to school, made me hot drinks and brought snacks/lunch. He then took DS for an after school activity.

Here's the aibu: I usually attend a class on Thurs eves. DH saw the teacher when taking my DS to his class earlier, she teaches both mine and DS's classes. And he told her I wouldn't make it, then arranged that he would attend in my place. He has an interest in this field but not particularly this discipline, for example he doesn't have the specific footwear. I am quite annoyed that he's decided to attend this class, I find it quite odd really and he has form for making things about himself. He's left me home with DS to put him to bed etc. He's 8 so not that hard but still, I have literally struggled to get out of bed myself today. AIBU?

This is weird on so many levels.

He’s muscling in on a very specific territory that’s for you and you alone, sort of spraying like a Tom cat that you can’t have a ballet class or a thing that’s just for you – he has to mark territory there too.

But also he’s left you to do the parenting when you’re in pain, when there’s no need. You’re not asking him to forgo his class: he’s deliberately gone out when he could have been there making your life easier.

And finally if he really wanted to do ballet he could
Either (a) sort a babysitter and arrange to do classes together with you or (b) arrange a different class so you both get your own space. This is just weird and shitty.

Just imagining the reaction if my DH couldn't play Sunday football and I went in his place...

I have a very sharp pain on my lower left abdomen.

Is this not a symptom of appendicitis?

If you can’t get out of bed because you’re in so much pain then get it checked.

@stuntbubbles

This is weird on so many levels.

He’s muscling in on a very specific territory that’s for you and you alone, sort of spraying like a Tom cat that you can’t have a ballet class or a thing that’s just for you – he has to mark territory there too.

But also he’s left you to do the parenting when you’re in pain, when there’s no need. You’re not asking him to forgo his class: he’s deliberately gone out when he could have been there making your life easier.

And finally if he really wanted to do ballet he could
Either (a) sort a babysitter and arrange to do classes together with you or (b) arrange a different class so you both get your own space. This is just weird and shitty.

Exactly!

@WonderfulYou

I have a very sharp pain on my lower left abdomen.

Is this not a symptom of appendicitis?

If you can’t get out of bed because you’re in so much pain then get it checked.

Think the appendix is on the right. If it's still bad tomorrow I will try and get in to see the GP

Is it pay as you go / drop-in classes?

Then if so it isn't that weird for him to join a class and a teacher to be okay with a new student. It also isn't weird for a man to do ballet. I do a drop in yoga class and there are regulars plus some new people each week. No one would think twice about a random man joining.

Was this something he has wanted to try but there was never childcare so he thought he would take advantage of you being home sick to try it out? I assume he is already out a night a week doing his own thing and you wouldn't want him out a second night a week trying other activities so he thought this was his one week to give ballet a whirl.

It could be very weird or not weird at all depending on the context.

As for him going out the night you are sick - that could be looked at a few ways.

I'm not particularly concerned that he's interested in the ballet teacher.

I did speak to him when he got home and said I found it annoying that he left me to do the childcare when I am unwell. And also mentioned that yes it's my class and my space and that he needed to find his own hobby class. He apologised and said it was spur of the moment. He said that as he stayed home this week because of the tube strikes (we're in London) he was feeling a bit cooped up and fancied getting out. I said I thought it was selfish and thoughtless. He agreed and apologised. So I guess we move on from here.

Thanks for helping me with whether I was being unreasonable.

@Midlifemusings

Is it pay as you go / drop-in classes?

Then if so it isn't that weird for him to join a class and a teacher to be okay with a new student. It also isn't weird for a man to do ballet. I do a drop in yoga class and there are regulars plus some new people each week. No one would think twice about a random man joining.

Was this something he has wanted to try but there was never childcare so he thought he would take advantage of you being home sick to try it out? I assume he is already out a night a week doing his own thing and you wouldn't want him out a second night a week trying other activities so he thought this was his one week to give ballet a whirl.

It could be very weird or not weird at all depending on the context.

As for him going out the night you are sick - that could be looked at a few ways.

I don't think it's weird him wanting to do a ballet class at all. But he's not expressed much interest before. It's buggering off when I'm ill that's the issue.

That is just weird, that is your class and now he is kinda taking over. You are ill so he should be there to look after your child and sort out bedtime. Does he always try to take over things that you enjoy? What happens if he enjoys it and now wants to go to your class all the time. Keep us posted. Hope you are feeling better soon. Also keep a diary of what you are eating so easier to pin point what is upsetting your tummy.

Please as other people have stated go to the doctor if still feeling unwell tomorrow.

What an absolute attention seeking twat your partners.

Gah! Your partner is.

He must be very comfortable in himself to attend a ballet class! It us funny but odd at the the same time. Bit selfish really like oh well you're unwell don't worry I'll go to your class byyeèee. Would've been better if he'd stayed to look after you. I wondered if it was about wasting the cost of the class but then saw that you said he'd taken an interest in it before. Hope he doesn't continue the classes. Just had a vision of those tight leggings exaggerating the nether regions! Hope you feel better soon OP.

I feel like this was a mildly flirtatious conversation that went too far on his part. I really can’t see why it would happen this way unless he fancied the ballet teacher.