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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu to be a bit miffed at DH?

89 replies

fibrecruncher · 03/03/2022 19:19

I have been ill in bed all day. Embarrassing but I think I have some inflammation in my bowels accompanied with constipation. I've been in a lot of pain since yesterday eve and all today. DH was great, did drop off and pick up of DS to school, made me hot drinks and brought snacks/lunch. He then took DS for an after school activity.

Here's the aibu: I usually attend a class on Thurs eves. DH saw the teacher when taking my DS to his class earlier, she teaches both mine and DS's classes. And he told her I wouldn't make it, then arranged that he would attend in my place. He has an interest in this field but not particularly this discipline, for example he doesn't have the specific footwear. I am quite annoyed that he's decided to attend this class, I find it quite odd really and he has form for making things about himself. He's left me home with DS to put him to bed etc. He's 8 so not that hard but still, I have literally struggled to get out of bed myself today. AIBU?

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Original poster
fibrecruncher · 03/03/2022 20:45

@Luredbyapomegranate

The image of your size 10 footed partner leaping around your ballet class is very funny. Insist he comes up and shows you what he did.

He is being unreasonable to leave you to childcare when you are ill. So I’d say that (well I’d have told him not to go in the first place), rather than focus on him making things about him as that’s a bit nebulous.

Just make your illness last a bit longer, so he does penance.

Good idea!
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Original poster
fibrecruncher · 03/03/2022 20:46

@GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing

That’s nuts! He doesn’t need to be going to ballet this week, when you’re ill. Surely if he’s got a burning desire to do ballet he can do it another day (ie not when your class is) when you’re better?
My sentiments exactly.
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Original poster
fibrecruncher · 03/03/2022 20:48

@Itsthejourney

Is it that odd if he does other dance styles though?
Wanting to try the class isn't necessarily the issue. It's doing it when I am essentially incapacitated and leaving me to do the childcare
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EllaVaNight · 03/03/2022 20:56

If you only have one eight year old you'll be fine. Your child can wash and change independently and if you can't manage to read a story get YouTube to do it. It's just one night.

Just a thought too, you mentioned how your partner has been bringing you lunches and snacks. If you're having bowel issues be careful with what you're consuming and how much in case it's making the problem worse.

Yioeo · 03/03/2022 20:56

Lol your husband is a funny man

Rosebuud · 03/03/2022 20:58

So your eight year old son needs ro be put to bed and can’t do it himself and your husband is trying ballet?

Thatsplentyjack · 03/03/2022 21:03

I suppose of he's interested I'm dance and does other dance it's not that weird, but I think a would be a bit pissed off if my partner did that. Like he's trying tk take over my hobby. I know that sounds a bit petty and childish but I think that's just how I would feel.

monroeagogo · 03/03/2022 21:08

I feel drunk reading the his thread and some of the posts

Bizarre doesn't cover it

Original poster
fibrecruncher · 03/03/2022 21:12

No offence taken xx

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Original poster
fibrecruncher · 03/03/2022 21:15

@needingpeace

How attractive and slim is the ballet teacher?
Ha ha. I don't think that's quite the motivation.
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Original poster
fibrecruncher · 03/03/2022 21:17

@Rosebuud

So your eight year old son needs ro be put to bed and can’t do it himself and your husband is trying ballet?
My DS8 still needs a bit of help with teeth brushing and we read with him before bed, yes. But I am literally struggling to move - I have a very sharp pain on my lower left abdomen. So with all the mummy patience I can muster it still feels an effort!
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Original poster
fibrecruncher · 03/03/2022 21:19

@EllaVaNight

If you only have one eight year old you'll be fine. Your child can wash and change independently and if you can't manage to read a story get YouTube to do it. It's just one night.

Just a thought too, you mentioned how your partner has been bringing you lunches and snacks. If you're having bowel issues be careful with what you're consuming and how much in case it's making the problem worse.

Thanks for that. It's been mostly hot drinks and some very light food. I'll keep an eye on what I consume.
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Rosebuud · 03/03/2022 21:21

How long is the class then that the time taken to do it is such a major issue for you?

RandomMess · 03/03/2022 21:24

It's really weird and strikes of him not wanting you to have a hobby/past time of your own.

How long before he has to go to the ballet class and you need to give it up and look after DS?

PaddleBoardingMomma · 03/03/2022 21:40

I mean, it's pretty funny!

Really bizarre but... mainly funny!

I really want to know how he got on at the ballet class now 😂

Original poster
fibrecruncher · 03/03/2022 21:48

@Rosebuud

How long is the class then that the time taken to do it is such a major issue for you?
The class is 1.5 hours, 15 mins to get there and back, so he was gone for 2 hours.

Major issue, not really - it's an annoying inconvenience. I'm sick. He is normally home in Thurs.

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Original poster
fibrecruncher · 03/03/2022 21:49

@PaddleBoardingMomma

I mean, it's pretty funny!

Really bizarre but... mainly funny!

I really want to know how he got on at the ballet class now 😂

He really enjoyed it. Said it was tough and that he used muscles he didn't know he had.
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Original poster
fibrecruncher · 03/03/2022 21:50

@RandomMess

It's really weird and strikes of him not wanting you to have a hobby/past time of your own.

How long before he has to go to the ballet class and you need to give it up and look after DS?

Ha. He can sod off. I told him he needs to find his own class
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BusinessMindThoughts · 03/03/2022 22:02

Have you spoken to any medical professional about the pain in your abdomen? Could it be something more serious?
(Yes I have been watching This Is Going To Hurt... but you can't be too careful!)

Original poster
fibrecruncher · 03/03/2022 22:10

@BusinessMindThoughts

Have you spoken to any medical professional about the pain in your abdomen? Could it be something more serious? (Yes I have been watching This Is Going To Hurt... but you can't be too careful!)
If its still bad in the morning I plan on calling the GP
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Original poster
fibrecruncher · 03/03/2022 22:11

@BusinessMindThoughts

Have you spoken to any medical professional about the pain in your abdomen? Could it be something more serious? (Yes I have been watching This Is Going To Hurt... but you can't be too careful!)
I've also been watching this is going to hurt - brilliant series!
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Needcoffeecoffeecoffee · 03/03/2022 22:19

Hope you feel better soon
I think it's not that hes been gone 2 hours over bedtime it's more that he stepped into your ballet class. Unless you've just started in the last week or so he wont even know the moves
I'm wondering what else he would attend in your place? Book club? Swimming? WI? ...

WonderfulYou · 03/03/2022 22:24

Him taking your place - absolutely fine and I think it’s a good idea.
If it’s already been booked he might as well see if he likes it. Many male dancers do a few ballet lessons.

However if you’re in so much pain you physically can’t get out of bed then I would be annoyed.

labyrinthlaziness · 03/03/2022 22:27

@AnxiousHeffalump

He’s going to a ballet class instead of you? That’s so weird. Maybe he liked the look of the teacher…
Yes, sorry for being so cynical but this was my first thought.
Briony123 · 03/03/2022 22:30

Surely your husband is just joking or you misunderstood him? Otherwise... he's joking or you misunderstood.