Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 ··· 15 16

Original poster

To fear a family member is accessing our medical records

395 replies

durdledoo · 03/03/2022 08:51

I'm not really sure what to do about this and would love some practical advice to stop this potentially happening.
My mil is a nurse, she works at the local surgeries that me, my husband and my children attend. She has previously gone through my husbands medical notes before and confronted him on health complications he's had in the past and not told her about (this was a long time ago, but he was in his early twenties at the time).
A few comments recently has be concerned she's done it again. My husband had 2 drs apts and we only told her about one. She / fil has asked me several times now if dh is okay and asked about his second drs apt (that we haven't even discussed with them)
They know about one health issue and he's openly discussed it with them but the other is very private.
The other day mil said "how is dh, is he okay" and I just replied "yes, he went down and has been referred" (discussing said health issues we've told them about) and she said "well, he went down again didn't he?" Basically prying into the outcome of this second apt she should know nothing about.

I can't prove anything, but considering previous and the fact she's digging (a lot) and acting very stand off-ish I am legitimately concerned she's been at our medical notes (or at least dh's) but i wouldn't put it past her to look through all of ours. We've had lots of ongoing problems in the past with boundaries and the relationship has never been simple.

Is there anything I can do. Would loving surgery completely help? She works all over locally so I fear not.

Can we ask the surgery to make out information inaccessible to her?

Looking for some practical steps I could take to protect our privacy. There's absolutely no point raising this with her, she will inevitably deny it and previously when she went through her adult sons records he was the one "in trouble" for not telling her about his health concerns...

OP posts:

lborgia · 03/03/2022 10:22

If you wouldn't care about the consequences as you said, and I agree, that's not your problem, then you absolutely need to speak to the practice manager.

It's all very well for pps to say it could be this benign reason, or that random thing, you KNOW what she like, you know that in the past the GP has actually enabled her to vaccinate her adult son without his explicit consent, has brazenly said she looked at his records, and now is going on and on about him having a second appointment.

I don't care if this last one was because she had a bloody vision on waking up, the trail of sackable offences is already there.

And our notes were all electronic over 15 years ago, so even 10 years ago she was probably breaking data protection.

And 30 years ago you weren't allowed to access records that you weren't explicitly working on, so there's absolutely no excuse.

Meanwhile, you know what she's like you have the language already. No boundaries. He is just an extension of her.

I think you pretty much answered your own questions!

MsSquiz · 03/03/2022 10:25

@HollowTalk

Can staff working in the NHS just confirm something:

Janet is a patient at a hospital, awaiting a diagnosis of a serious, potentially life-threatening health problem.

Julie is Janet's sister-in-law and works at the hospital.

John is one of Janet's consultants.

Julie goes to find John (benefit of the doubt she bumped into him, but I doubt that) - she asks him whether there's any news about Janet. Both women have the same surname - John knows they are related. John gives her up to date news - not necessarily the diagnosis (that hadn't been formally made yet) but whatever news he has.

That's not allowed, is it?

@HollowTalk that's absolutely correct. And that's how things were when I worked in a hospital medical records dept & outpatients over 10 years ago.

applespearsbears · 03/03/2022 10:26

@HollowTalk

Can staff working in the NHS just confirm something:

Janet is a patient at a hospital, awaiting a diagnosis of a serious, potentially life-threatening health problem.

Julie is Janet's sister-in-law and works at the hospital.

John is one of Janet's consultants.

That's not allowed, is it?

No that's not allowed if Julie has no part in Janet's care

Lougle · 03/03/2022 10:27

@HollowTalk no, that's not allowed. The Consultant should have said that he couldn't share that information and she needs to talk to Janet if she wants information.

HollowTalk · 03/03/2022 10:28

You mean people would discuss it, or that it wasn't allowed?

This has happened in my family - it's amazing how many have said, "Well, Julie was just worried about Janet..." But the fact is that if there had been very bad news, Julie would have known first.

ChoiceMummy · 03/03/2022 10:28

@durdledoo

I'm not really sure what to do about this and would love some practical advice to stop this potentially happening. My mil is a nurse, she works at the local surgeries that me, my husband and my children attend. She has previously gone through my husbands medical notes before and confronted him on health complications he's had in the past and not told her about (this was a long time ago, but he was in his early twenties at the time). A few comments recently has be concerned she's done it again. My husband had 2 drs apts and we only told her about one. She / fil has asked me several times now if dh is okay and asked about his second drs apt (that we haven't even discussed with them) They know about one health issue and he's openly discussed it with them but the other is very private. The other day mil said "how is dh, is he okay" and I just replied "yes, he went down and has been referred" (discussing said health issues we've told them about) and she said "well, he went down again didn't he?" Basically prying into the outcome of this second apt she should know nothing about.

Is there anything I can do. Would loving surgery completely help? She works all over locally so I fear not.

Can we ask the surgery to make out information inaccessible to her?

If she works within the surgeries, likelihood is that someone who works there mentioned that her son was at the surgery. Technically a breach of gdpr, but also an understandable situation, given that it was probably expected she knew or would be told.

Re accessing the files, this would be tracked on the system and would risk her being dismissed, so I'd think that she's unlikely to really do that in today's world. Doing it before these systems was easy to do clandestinely.

MsSquiz · 03/03/2022 10:31

@HollowTalk

You mean people would discuss it, or that it wasn't allowed?

This has happened in my family - it's amazing how many have said, "Well, Julie was just worried about Janet..." But the fact is that if there had been very bad news, Julie would have known first.

I meant you are correct, it's not allowed.

People always try to get round with
"but they're family"
"But they're concerned"

And it's really all irrelevant because patient confidentiality trumps all "buts"

I attended all appointments with DM when she had cancer, but I'm pretty sure they still couldn't just update me on the situation without her authority.

ElsieLappin · 03/03/2022 10:34

@HollowTalk, they can't discuss it and should shut the conversation down immediately
OP get all of your records locked down straight away regardless of whether to decide to say something
Everytime she wanted to know something I'd ask her why she was asking
Confidentiality is utmost, I don't even mention seeing someone in reception

Beautiful3 · 03/03/2022 10:35

She will get sacked if you tell them. I'd get your husband to have a word with her. If she continues to over step, then report her. I went through something similar with a family member, working at the bank I use.

MeridianB · 03/03/2022 10:37

@Ncwinc

If she knows about the appointment but not the medical reasons for the appointment she probably hasn’t looked at his file. All it would take is a receptionist saying, ‘I saw your Eric today’ in the break room. Or even her legitimately looking to see if a GP has a no show in their surgery, because the patient she’s seeing needs to be checked by a doctor, and seeing her DS’ name on the appointment list.

Based on your anxiety and not wanting her to lose her job (which is super generous of you BTW!), I’d go with the above approach.

I would also ask the surgery if they restrict access to the whole family’s records.

LemonJuiceFromConcentrate · 03/03/2022 10:39

I would be incandescent at this behaviour and would absolutely report my concerns. If evidence definitively showed that she’d done it, well, damn right she ought to be sacked! It’s hugely unethical.

Any consequences to your family relationship would be 100 per cent on her. She’s already damaged that relationship hugely by trampling over boundaries in various ways — why should she be protected from the consequences?

Northernparent68 · 03/03/2022 10:40

Ask her how she knows

Mouldyfeet · 03/03/2022 10:42

I’m being too lady to read the comments.
Your notes can be made so that it is flagged up if anyone accessed them from the surgery.
I work in the surgery I am registered at. If someone goes in my notes the senior gps are alerted of it’s flagged up in some way. Anyone that sees me has to write in the notes that they have had permission from me to access them.
I would send a letter/email and ask to speak up the practice manager or gp partner and raise your concerns about this. They will also be able to confirm whether she has accessed your notes. It logs everyone who has accessed them even if they haven’t wrote anything.
Some of my family are registered at mine and I’ve never once gone into their notes. It’s a massive breach of trust and not really adhering to put code of contact either!

Touchwood2654 · 03/03/2022 10:44

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn at the poster's request.

KarmaStar · 03/03/2022 10:45

That's a breach of data protection and very intrusive personally.
It's horrible isn't it?
My ex sister in law is the IT director at local hospital and when I go in she tells ex mil everything because she can cover her tracks I guess being the boss.

hashbrownsandwich · 03/03/2022 10:46

@Touchwood2654

Changing surgery would make no difference whatsoever. She has his metal number so she can access his records wherever he moves to.

Not true. You can't just access anyones records.

SmilingFrog · 03/03/2022 10:47

Could she had asked a colleague to look him up? Thus making it difficult to prove? Just thought I'd suggest that incase it comes back that there's no evidence of her accessing records electronically.

diddl · 03/03/2022 10:47

I can't understand why you would be interested in her keeping her job.

From what she did 10+yrs ago she deserves to lose it!

billy1966 · 03/03/2022 10:48

@SarahProblem

If you're really concerned get your DH to do a subject access request (SAR) with information pertaining to who has accessed his records.

I think this sounds like a great idea.

You get the information you want and the practice are made aware you are concerned about a breach of your confidentiality.

AllTheYoungGoodyTwoShoes · 03/03/2022 10:50

@HollowTalk

Can staff working in the NHS just confirm something:

Janet is a patient at a hospital, awaiting a diagnosis of a serious, potentially life-threatening health problem.

Julie is Janet's sister-in-law and works at the hospital.

John is one of Janet's consultants.

That's not allowed, is it?

No the sister in law shouldn't have asked the consultant without the patient's permission. The consultant should have said he would to ask the patient if they were happy for the sister in law to have information. Or should have just told her he is unable to discuss any confidential information. As nurses, we are sometimes put in difficult situations, when people phone up, we say we can only speak to the next of kin. Tell them to speak to the family if they want to know anything.

EvilPea · 03/03/2022 10:50

I don’t think she’s looked it up from what you’ve said. I think she saw he had an appointment. I think you’d have much more conversations about more children if she had seen it

Serendipity79 · 03/03/2022 10:50

I think this is more common than people realise. My mum asked one of her friends to give her some oncology results of all things, and her friend did it - she was a sister on the unit, so not a temp or someone newly qualified who might be confused about DPA. I went into hospital a few years back for an emergency treatment which resulted in a biopsy and when I told my mum about it, a few days later she messaged me to tell me not to worry as she was certain my results would come back clear and they did - I'm adamant to this day that she got her friend to take a look otherwise she wouldn't have a clue.

You can ask the surgery to restrict the notes so that only designated people can access them - then if she tries and fails to get into them, she isn't exactly going to ask anyone why they're restricted is she because she shouldn't be looking anyway!

Sweetpeasaremadeforbees · 03/03/2022 10:51

Could she have asked a colleague to look him up?

That's just as bad. If it was true the surgery have a serious problem. And I'm guessing the colleague isn't going to accept being sacked just to protect the OP's MIL.

EvilPea · 03/03/2022 10:51

Not that it changes anything. I’d still be moving surgeries and locking mine and my kids records down

Userno36372846 · 03/03/2022 10:52

Yes there is something you can do - report her!! It sounds extreme but it's wrong on all levels. A medical professional cannot access I
anyone's records without good reason to! If you don't want to report, your husband needs some very stern words for her.

Could he change to another gp practice?

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 ··· 15 16

Swipe left for the next trending thread