To make my 14yr old packed lunch?

[Straightupp]

Don't want to drip feed, basic back story is that my DP thinks my DS could do much more around the house/for himself. I do fully agree but i mostly don't push it because it's so much easier to just do it myself. That said we do have certain rules e.g he does all his own washing up, keeps room tidy etc. He gets himself up, ready and off to school without any intervention from me and on weekends/school hols he makes his own breakfast/lunch every day and about 2 evenings a week makes his own dinner (obviously nothing special, something in the oven or a simple pasta etc)
Me and DP had different upbringings, my DM never made me lift a finger literally and my DP cooked all meals for himself after he was 16 and had a job by 14. I think this is partly why we disagree on things.

So my AIBU is basically i was making DS's lunch. I was also making toddlers and my own for work so i do them all together. DP informs me that my DS should be making his own packed lunch at 14. He is more than capable but 1. I'm already making 2 lunches anyway and 2. Is it not my choice if i want to make his lunch?
And lastly to add my DP does next to nothing around the house so i pick up his slack too yet he never complains when i've washed and put away his clothes, done his washing up or made him a meal....AIBU?

Lazy arsehole, your DP obviously, what gives home the right to criticise your parenting of YOUR child, who btw does a lot more around the house than any 14 year old I know. Honestly I never say stuff like this but poor kid, living with a jealous and resentful prick like that, tell the waster to get fucked and protect your child, he'll be gone in a few years and you'll be stuck with the dickhead

Next time your "D"P says your son should be doing more I suggest you agree

"Yes I've been thinking that and I then realised that you do even less than he does so I thought we could all sit down and make a rota to share out some chores. As DS has homework in the week I thought that as well as the jobs he already does he could cook one evening a week - that leaves 6 so I'll cook three nights and you can do the other 3. Also I was thinking that perhaps one of us can take responsibility for all the cleaning except DS's room and the other can take responsibility for all the washing and ironing. Which do you prefer?"

I still make my 14 year old a packed lunch each day. Her chore are her ironing, all if it inc school shirts, tidy her room one a week and put all her plates and cups in the dish washer

He's still a child, he's doing loads and a hang of a lot more than I'd ever ask mine to do. If anything I'd do much more for him, nit less 🥴

I think it's fine for you to be making his especially as you're already preparing lunch for others.
I still make all the lunches as I'm doing dd's so might as well do everyone's.
For those saying you are raising another generation of clueless men, her DS isn't clueless, he's clearly doing alot more in the house than his clueless stepdad!
When we make lunch for the teens, we don't do it because they Don't know how to, we do it because it's easier.
She's already prepping two lunchboxes, what's the harm in doing one more?
Your dh needs to stop being such a hypocrite and start pulling his weight

YANBU

It sounds like he does a lot for a 14 YO!

It would be pretty mean not to make anyone else a packed lunch/sandwich if you are making one for yourself. No hardship to make an extra sandwich. Maybe your son could pop all the rest of the bits in.

YANBU, your DS does a lot around the house, you don’t mind doing his lunch, he knows how to do it in case of emergency so what’s the problem?
Your DP on the other side doesn’t sound nice. He applies double standard towards himself and your son. Yes, he’s got a job but so does your son - he goes to school. Your DP has got a job at 14? Well, we don’t know what kind of job it was and how many subjects he did at school and so on and we don’t know how much of it is true . He can tell you anything - that he cooked for himself from 6 y.o. and he walked to school by himself from 3y.o. and started driving at 12y.o. The question is what he does around the house now.

Obviously he's not his dad.
So a grown man isn't capable of washing his own clothes but your child is and the grown man thinks the child needs to be more independent.

YANBU to make your sons lunch when you're already making two. It would actually be quite spiteful not to.

I think your partner needs to be a bit more independent and wash his own clothes.

Tell your DP he's a lazy arse and setting a bad example for Ds.

What excuse does your dp use for why he can't do anything for himself?

Ugh. I would be making DS' lunch if you were already making yours and your younger DC's or not. Your DS is obviously quite independent and capable and doing something nice for him and making sure he is eating properly is the behaviour of a good, loving mother.

I knew as soon as I read your 'D'P not his dad :(