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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not take my baby up to bed earlier

66 replies

Bells3032 · 01/03/2022 09:35

My little one is 10 weeks old but came at 34 weeks so has an adjusted age of 4 weeks.

Currently, I take her up at midnight (during the day she always stays downstairs), change her and get her into her grow bag and give her her milk. Sing to her and cuddles and then she goes down in her cot by about 1230 to 1245ish. She now wakes at around 5 and then at 8-9ish. This works for me atm as I am a night owl and don't want to sit upstairs all evening. However it means she often sleeps all morning which is when all the baby classes are and I always wide awake in the evenings when we have people over or go out. Whether that's good or bad is debatable.

No idea if I should bother changing her sleep pattern or leave it til the sleep regression period.

If I should change any hints on how to do that.

OP posts:
HereComesTheSum · 01/03/2022 09:38

Yes I'd start changing it, start getting her down to sleep earlier gradually and wake her up in the mornings to get her into a better routine.

Caspianberg · 01/03/2022 09:40

I never took mine up before me at that age. But we did go earlier as I was tired too ( mine woke a lot)
Could you maybe try all going to bed at 10pm a while? All go up, baby settled and then you sleep or read cosy in bed.

AmbushedByCake · 01/03/2022 09:42

"This works for me atm"

This is all that matters. If it works, leave it. If it stops working, change it. Your baby's sleep pattern will probably change at some point anyway. She really really doesn't need to be at baby classes at her age, so long as you're getting out and seeing people during the week then it's fine.

Notdoingthis · 01/03/2022 09:43

Sounds great

takealettermsjones · 01/03/2022 09:46

If it works for you I'd leave it. She's still so tiny, it's great that she's sleeping for so long. You can mimic baby classes at home by playing and singing nursery rhymes, buying or making sensory toys etc.

PeacefulPrune · 01/03/2022 09:46

At that age I just kept baby close by in a Moses basket night and day there wasn't a routine.

Do what works for you.

Mumdiva99 · 01/03/2022 09:47

Baby classes at 10 weeks old are really more for the mum than the baby. If you are happy then great. As she gets older make sure she gets stimulation....this could just be a walk to the shops or pop into the library for books or having a friend over for a coffee. Once she's moving and crawling and running you will probably want to get-out more and may want to join groups. Worry about sleep then.

(The benefit to me of baby groups was the camaraderie of other new mums. If you don't need or want that then don't stress. Enjoy this time.)

SerendipitySunshine · 01/03/2022 09:48

Do whatever works for you. There's no point in trying to make babies follow your patterns, when you can follow theirs and everyone is happier and more relaxed.

Totalwasteofpaper · 01/03/2022 09:51

Nope. It works for you and sounds like a pretty good routine tbh!! Youa re getting a reasonable chunk of sleep and everyone is happy.

Maybe change the routine later on. But honestly I wouldn't be bothering with baby classes until 5 or 6 months unless you have a real burning desire to thank the corn (or however the song goes).
Baby classes are the part I am somewhat dreading!! Also there are afternoon classes out there too.

Catrice · 01/03/2022 09:56

I wouldn't worry about time...as long as you're getting some sleep it's fine!

Whaddayuthnk · 01/03/2022 09:56

Do what works for you. I could never have been one of those people who puts baby to bed at 7 and then has baby starting the day at 5am! Because I'm a night owl, too. So we would all have been miserable for no reason! If baby classes start getting more important to you then you can switch things around enough to get a decent few hours at night, then nap at lunchtime. That's my current routine

Donson · 01/03/2022 09:59

She’s only 10 weeks old, I think if it’s working for both of you then it’s fine.

Toottooot · 01/03/2022 10:01

Don’t wait for a ‘regression’ it might not happen.

Original poster
Bells3032 · 01/03/2022 10:04

Thanks all. I was happy with it but friends and family seem to think she should be sleeping like 7 to 7 rather than 12 to 12. But think if she went to bed at 7 my husband wouldn't spend time with her during the week, I'd hate getting up at 7am and being stuck upstairs from 7pm. She sleeps most of the morning so I use that time to get stuff done. We do already go to a couple of classes but it's more for me to get out and meet people than stimulation for her.

Maybe I just shouldn't listen to pressure for others.

OP posts:
Notajogger · 01/03/2022 10:04

This would worry me if it were my DC...I can't remember at which point their circadian rhythm kicks in but surely this type of schedule will put it out of whack.

Dammitthisisshit · 01/03/2022 10:05

Do whatever works for you.
I parented my 2 babies differently. 1st I second guessed what I should be doing, tried to correct things before they became a problem and generally thought there was a right way.
2nd I didn’t give a stuff what anyone else thought or did. I just went with whatever worked the best.

I was a much better mum the 2nd time round.

Fupoffyagrasshole · 01/03/2022 10:10

We used to sit up late with our baby asleep on one of us until she was about 4 months old 😂 we could watch tv and relax she slept on and off

I really didn’t want to be in bed early with her tbh

It was fine I honestly didn’t worry about it until she stopped being able to settle and sleep with noise around

Chely · 01/03/2022 10:11

You do whatever you like.

I take baby (6.5mth) to bed when I go up and it's as late as you, we have a travel cot she can sleep in downstairs. I did the same with our older 5 and it was fine. I like to keep them close when babies, I establish bed time routines when they are older.

BobMortimersTrout · 01/03/2022 10:14

My LO didn't get into any sort of routine until about 6 months when he settled into 3 distinct naps a day - up until that point we just did everything on the fly. As long as it's working for you it's fine - the 7pm bedtime is a cultural thing that the UK is borderline obsessed with

Wazzawoowoo · 01/03/2022 10:18

Do what works for you.

Ten weeks is early for the whole 7pm-7am routine anyway. Neither of mine settled for the night until about 10pm this young. Getting to them bed earlier would have just been a battle.

It sounds like you're happy following your DC own natural routine so roll with it. I did that with both of my kids and they slept a good 6/8 hour stretch by 12 weeks.

AnEpisodeOfEastenders · 01/03/2022 10:19

Have you got a monitor so you can listen in? We have a monitor and camera in the nursery, baby is in bed by 7pm, woken to feed at 11 and then sleeps until 7am. The monitor / camera are great and really sensitive. Started the routine at 1 week and slept through from 8 weeks. Each baby is different so not saying we’re right, but it worked for us.

Liervik · 01/03/2022 10:22

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ for privacy reasons.

Fallingonice · 01/03/2022 10:23

You are supposed to stay with them when asleep until they are six months. I know in practice a lot of people don’t but ten weeks is a bit on the young side.

Seeline · 01/03/2022 10:24

We kept both ours downstairs until we went to bed until they were 6 months old, and it was safer for them to sleep alone. We had Moses basket/travel cot downstairs if they wanted to sleep.

Footnote · 01/03/2022 10:26

As others have said, if it works for you, it works. I would just suggest opening the curtains when you get up so she’s in the light when sleeping during the day, so that she can establish her circadian rhythm.

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