To not take my baby up to bed earlier

[Bells3032]

My little one is 10 weeks old but came at 34 weeks so has an adjusted age of 4 weeks.

Currently, I take her up at midnight (during the day she always stays downstairs), change her and get her into her grow bag and give her her milk. Sing to her and cuddles and then she goes down in her cot by about 1230 to 1245ish. She now wakes at around 5 and then at 8-9ish. This works for me atm as I am a night owl and don't want to sit upstairs all evening. However it means she often sleeps all morning which is when all the baby classes are and I always wide awake in the evenings when we have people over or go out. Whether that's good or bad is debatable.

No idea if I should bother changing her sleep pattern or leave it til the sleep regression period.

If I should change any hints on how to do that.

@Bogofftosomewherehot two teenagers and a newborn. I’m not arguing but just surprised that their own room is taken so negatively given how much parental sleep deprivation plays a part on this forum.

I'd start taking her up earlier. By the time they're about one it's ideal for them to have a proper bedtime routine and to be going up about 7/7.30. I think it's alright for now but try and change it within the next few months. You'll probably find it changes naturally anyway before long without forcing it.

@Notajogger

This would worry me if it were my DC...I can't remember at which point their circadian rhythm kicks in but surely this type of schedule will put it out of whack.

Think that it depends on the child tbh. The op is I presume a ftm with only one to worry about. That makes a difference too. My lo was a night owl, and though I'd aim to get to bed by 11,they'd frequently have other ideas, especially with colic. So I found I was ready for bed at 7 they simply weren't. But eventually over the first year the timings become more regular. My only concern would be if this is solely based on the adults needs versus the baby if they're showing signs of needing to sleep before 12.

It's not a massive deal.

But the parents I knew who did this find it surprisingly hard to shift well ingrained night owl habits later on in the toddler years, and its resulted in their children being the 5/6/7 year olds who won't go to bed until 9 or 10pm and then are shattered having to get up for school.

If your happy with it and don't want to attend baby classes then do what works for you.

At that age it doesn't matter 🤷🏻‍♀️

If you want to go to baby classes, go to baby classes and your baby will adjust. I loved that DD1 woke up at 9:30 that worked for me

@Dammitthisisshit

Do whatever works for you. I parented my 2 babies differently. 1st I second guessed what I should be doing, tried to correct things before they became a problem and generally thought there was a right way. 2nd I didn’t give a stuff what anyone else thought or did. I just went with whatever worked the best.

I was a much better mum the 2nd time round.

Yes yes yes! THIS is the problem nowadays: expectations. DD1 hated the cot and I tried to force it sooo much because is what everyone does!! really regret it

If it's relatively easy to change then I would start to as it will become very limiting and you might find it hard to change later. But if it's not broken...

@Fallingonice

Current advice is that it’s wrong, yes here

It may not be the IDEAL thing to do but our babies don't come from a factory 🤷🏻‍♀️ they are people with specific needs and so are mums!!! Mums have needs too. It can't be one size fits all. There's an "ideal" and a "do NOT do at all costs" and OP definitely is being a great mum

Mine slept late and stayed up in the evening as that suited us. I wouldn’t be taking a four week old to groups though.

Sounds normal to me, at that age we used to take DD up at 11 when we went to bed, quick feed and then we'd all get a decent-ish stretch before she woke around 2am. From the 3 month mark we started edging that back so that she went down progressively earlier, so around 4 months she'd be upstairs for an hour by herself, 5 months she'd be down at 9ish, etc. The 2am wake got later and later as well so by about 6 months she was going 8pm - 4am and then down again until 7. She's now 18 months and has a very set 7.30am - 7am routine so I don't think there's any issue at this stage and it doesn't mean you're going to mess up her sleep rhythm - baby is still so small at this stage.

The OP isn’t doing anything ‘wrong’ according to the lullaby trust @grey12

I was answering another poster who was recommending babies be put to sleep alone.

tried to start taking her up half an hour earlier but found she just didn't fall asleep. She likes to be awake in the evening. I also have tried to wake her in the morning but she's a good sleeper and will wake up for a few minutes look at me with evil eyes and immediately fall back asleep

Having read your updates and your fear of Sid's, I think you probably need to keep things as they are. Your options are sit upstairs all evening or have them with you. Obviously the second is better. Changing the routine involves working hard to keep them awake, planning the day in quite a regimented way and you have to really want to do it. I don't think you do and that's fine.

At that age, be glad she sleeps 5 hours at night and again in the morning. Build on that routine.

She';s far too young to benefit from any baby classes. That would be entirely for your benefit. IMO the best benefit to you at this stage is to use her sleep periods for YOU to get plenty of rest and relaxation.
In the morning while she naps, have a shower, wash your hair, read a book, or if you must do something, listen to music while you put a meal together for later.

@Fallingonice

The OP isn’t doing anything ‘wrong’ according to the lullaby trust *@grey12*

I was answering another poster who was recommending babies be put to sleep alone.

Never once recommended that in any of my posts, I said that’s what has worked for us and if you check back you’ll see I specifically say that what works for us doesn’t mean it will work for the next. And certainly wasn’t a recommendation for others. Each to their own.

My favourite sleep advice for babies/toddlers - it's not a problem until it's a problem for you i.e if you are happy with it, leave it as it is. 10 weeks is too early for a routine anyway. The only issue is baby groups, so if you are missing them all and want to go, then you will need to adjust sleep times accordingly. If you would rather stay up late and keep baby up with you, then do that.