To not understand why people dislike buzz cuts on little boys?

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I did not realise this was a thing until I buzzed my 3 year olds hair in lockdown (had tried and failed to cut it so had to buzz).
My mother hated it, friends made comments. I then googled and people say it's trashy or something 🤷‍♀️
I thought it was cute and he is asking me to do it again because longer hair annoys him.
It was also way easier to bath/dry as he hates hair wash etc.

I want to do it again but so people thing it looks trashy/chavy whatever?

I know I shouldn't care what others think but I do 😬

Buzz cuts on little boys are considered a class signifier, like so many other apparently innocuous things in British society. The reality is that people will notice and, while they may not say anything, they will judge.

I always did it myself to my boys hair in primary school - their choice because a) they were always so sweaty and too hot b) the school literally always had lice outbreaks so I wanted to spot any lice. Works! They never had lice ever coincidence but still! The funny thing was as soon as I did it loads of mums did too - they were too scared of their kids looking ‘thuggish’ but then realised it was the least hassle option with the lice outbreaks. It was a terrible time then for lice. Even had a few mums cut their girls hair really short! Some of the teachers were snobs about it though hated it obviously!

OP - you can't win! I have two boys with long hair and people feel obliged to comment on that too, so I would just stop giving a tiny little shit what anyone else thinks and let your son have his hair however he wants. If people are rude enough to comment, that says more about what they value than a haircut says about a person.

@Rosehugger

I remember lads getting told off at school.for having their hair "too short" 🤷‍♀️ I think it looks clean and smart.

So do I! Not the same as DH is obviously an adult, but he looks so much better with a buzz cut than with longer hair as he has absolutely no interest in styling it. He first shaved his head when he was 14 or 15 and I remember him getting in trouble for it at school - and his parents absolutely hated it then and still do now (he's almost 30 ).

I can't say I'd be keen to shave 2yo DS's hair so short (I love his curls), I certainly wouldn't try to stop him if he wanted to when a bit older.

@PrimroseTheSmooth

DS16 has a buzz cut, sob. It’s an unforgiving style and comes across as a bit thuggish (DS is the world’s least thuggish boy but unaware of the associations, I think). Ah well, it will grow back.

So why don't you tell him?

My son is 2.5 and I am the only mum I know who keeps their little boy’s hair really short! I accidentally buzz cut it in lockdown and he looked like he was going go enlist that day. Admittedly, that was a mistake!

His features are so fine and he is so gorgeous that he looks beautiful whatever. ❤️

Am I missing something?

Is a buzz cut just cut short with clipper rather than left longer being cut with scissors, or are you meaning fancy zigs zags and patterns and so forth ?

Am amazed at the responses on here if that is what you are talking about. I think it looks really smart - far nicer than long hair straggling everywhere.

It has long associations with prison and the army - situations where the aim is to remove individuality. When I was younger I volunteered for a charity that worked with street kids in Latin America. Always remember being told that when they were put in juvenile detention, the young lads found it particularly traumatic having their heads shaved. They expressed themselves through hairstyles.

I don’t judge people, especially kids, with these styles, but I can’t say I like the styles themselves because of what they remind me of.

Wow so just caught up and evidently many people do judge.
I had read an American blog where the woman was saying that there was nothing more American than a little boy with a buzz cut.
We're British. I think he looks really cute with it buzzed (though very different). His eyes look so big and brown.

It's funny as PP said you can win. My youngest has long blonde hair and I also get comments (mainly from MIL and elderly neighbours) about when I'm going to cut it and looking like a girl.

I think more than half of my reasoning is that I just hate taking him to the hairdressers. He hates it, it costs money, it's a faff!
And as I said, he wants it short.
Wish I could just leant to cut it but I tried more than once in lockdown and it wa so awful!

@Hellocatshome

Well its nice to see how judgemental people are, my son has trichotillomania so his hair has to be cut very short (normally a 2 or 3) but he is very fair so it often looks shorter than it is. I hope he never realises the judgements grown ups are making about him based on his hair.

Anecdotal but there’s also proper research showing the same, nutritional deficiencies can cause trichotillomania, Magnesium, D3, and others, read the comments on this page, if you’re interested:

www.sensory-processing-disorder.com/hairpulling-trichotillomania-and-spd.html

@PlanetNormal

Buzz cuts on little boys are considered a class signifier, like so many other apparently innocuous things in British society. The reality is that people will notice and, while they may not say anything, they will judge.

It’s so gross and demoralising when you realise this ☹️

For people asking what kind of style I mean. I just mean shaved, no patterns or anything. I can't add a photo for some reason

@Hellocatshome I’m a grown woman but have autism and sensory processing disorder which makes me freak out about shedding hair and hair touching my face or neck, I really want a buzzcut but I know people will think I’m a nazi or skinhead or just a thug or something awful. When I was younger I had buzzcuts but I’ve become a coward for some reason. I just don’t want more reasons to get bullied. I have dermatillomania and it sucks, I hope your son grows out of his and that he will have nice friends who won’t bully him x

Actually this thread is a bit of a depressing read. I think it's one thing to not like a style, but to have so many stereotypical associations I just had no idea!

If you are a grown adult in 2022 who is associating a toddler’s haircut with headlice, prison, the army or ‘thugs’, have a damn good word with yourself because you are a) a crashing great snob and b) thick. How the hell do you function in a normal society with an attitude like that? How would you like it if someone sneered at your child in that way?

OP, I bet your little boy is adorable with any haircut. If you like him with a buzz cut, give him a buzz cut

Ds2 had a buzz cut all through infant school

He didn’t like having his haircut

He looked adorable, people often told me so

And nobody said anything negative…..ever.

(Obviously I’m quite happy to believe that they were being very polite but judging internally)

@DingDongtheWitchisDrunk We’ve told him. At 16 it’s his choice- it’s not like having a smaller child where parents dictate.

Yeah it’s a very depressing thread. Lots of horrible messages. Probably classism or internalized classism, as a PP observed. A lot of British people have very weird hang-ups about class, as anyone who visits this website regularly can tell you.

When someone posts that they or their partner thinks their little boy’s hair is too long and therefore ‘girly’, everyone’s quick to condemn such shitty, judgemental attitudes. Short hair though? Quite the opposite reaction.

The reality is it does look a bit thuggish, and by extension when you see a 3 year old acting in a normal 3 year old way, maybe being a bit boisterous, the shaved head only adds to the perception that the child is a thug-in-waiting.

This is from someone who had a number 2 all over for the first 13 years of their life, and has had one periodically since, so I'm not coming at it from a place of snobbery, I've lived it.

You also can't help but notice patterns among the children at school who are aggressive, disruptive etc, and the style choices they or their parents seem to go for. When I was at school it tended to be lads with shaved heads and slits in their eyebrows, I'm not sure if that's even still a thing? Bare in mind this was in lower school. As an adult it all seems so ridiculous.

Our heads were shaved because our Dads head was shaved. His head was shaved as he couldn't be arsed with washing or drying hair when he had to get up for work at 1am.

My hair is now 3/4 of the water down my back, and has been for the better part of 15 years, with the odd foray back to shaved. That has its own negative connotations.

The thing is, you can't stop people judging, or sniping behind your back, whether it's right or wrong. Just look at this forum, doesn't matter what it is, there are people lining up to sneer at it. I'm not exempt from that, there are plenty of things or people I view with disdain. All you can do is accept what some people will perceive, and own your choices in life.

You may feel that's snobby, but whether you agree or not people will make judgements. Not necessarily about your son, but certainly about you. Whether we acknowledge it or not we all make judgements about things. Some good, some bad. It's what humans do.

Aw, not sure how a little one could look thuggish, maybe on an older teen or an adult yeah there would be the association.

@Blueuggboots Why is long curly hair on a boy ridiculous? What if his hair just grows that way.

I think what looks cutest on kids is what suits their personality and suits them practically. Some can look adorable with long hair and some with super short hair. They're just kids.

If you are a grown adult in 2022 who is associating a toddler’s haircut with headlice, prison, the army or ‘thugs’, have a damn good word with yourself because you are a) a crashing great snob and b) thick. How the hell do you function in a normal society with an attitude like that? How would you like it if someone sneered at your child in that way?
This with bells on.

Many posters have really shown themselves up. Hopefully they’ll take a moment to reflect on their hang ups over this, but I don’t imagine many of them to be great critical thinkers.

tbh around here it means your from the "rough "council estates as its associated with the boys who all had one

think boys from the film/tv show this is England

You may feel that's snobby, but whether you agree or not people will make judgements. Not necessarily about your son, but certainly about you. Whether we acknowledge it or not we all make judgements about things. Some good, some bad. It's what humans do.
Yes, snobs and other unpleasant people will make judgements, because some people are unpleasant.

Best to ignore people like that imo.