Have you ever lent someone money and never got it back?

[marooncat7]

In my early 20s I had a friend, well actually he was a bit more than a friend. He lived abroad and we had met a few times and had a bit of a holiday romance. We spoke online all the time and it was, I believed, a friendship.

But he then lost his job, and was going through financial issues (or so he said). He said he was sleeping in his car and asked me for money to buy food via Western Union. I suggested he ask his family for help, but he came up with lots of excuses. He promised he would pay me back and stupidly I believed him. So I sent him £100 (which goes quite far in his country). He wanted more than that. But I said that's all I could give, as I was a student myself with a small income.

Well, surprise surprise, I never got the money back. I know I was stupid to ever think I would, or to give it in the first place. I am not usually someone who is so easily fooled.

However, he did put pictures on social media within a week of him and his new girlfriend, who he had started to live with. Obviously he wasn't living in his car anymore

I have no idea why he did such a thing to me, and I suppose I never will know. But watching things like The Tinder Swindler brings it all back, even though £100 is a small sum compared to what those women lost.

It taught me to trust no one and that many people out there have no conscience.

I had a bad experience with a bloke i was seeing a few years ago. And he actually stole off me and tried blaming my best friend (LOL)
Then when i kicked him out i got a massive phone bill through the post which he said he would pay. Did he? Did he heckers!

A year or so after splitting from him. I googled his name and turns out he was a crack head and was 'saved' by a charity.

I sure know how to pick them LOL

Yes, 6 years ago I lent my brother £800, didn't have much money myself at the time, not only did I never get it back he's hardly spoken to me since then.

Yes...lent ex colleague £100....she was inbetween jobs.... very needy and attention seeker....always having a disaster etc.....said family was living on cheap fish fingers for the week so i lent the money for food shop, ran 4 cars....different vehicle for different journeys...bonkers woman...!!....2 weeks later she told me she had bought a real gucci belt for useless 24 year old son....!!...i blocked her etc and never seen her for over 3 years...a total relief...dont care about the money....!!

Yes I lent a school mum sort-of-friend £100 a couple of years ago. She paid me back the first time but then asked the next month, I gave it to her, never got it back. TBH I know they are really struggling, she wasn’t scamming me, so I’ve written it off in my head. I wouldn’t lend her any more though.

A few years ago I lent a colleague who was struggling £50. It was a gift to me so I figured if I never got it back then I would survive. She’s left the company now and I know she hasn’t forgotten (she brought it up once a couple of years later) but I don’t expect to see it again.

Some people would think me overly trusting but I don’t feel it’s a character trait that’s so terrible, I’m not a mug. Exh used to say I was too nice. I’ve figured no, he just wasn’t nice enough!

I don’t really understand your comment about not knowing why, and that you’ll never know.
He was a scumbag defrauding thief, that’s why. No specific motivation in relation to you - just a scam. You won’t have been his only victim.

I’m sorry for the long term impact on your trust - definitely hits more than an “ordinary” theft like a burglar or pickpocket 😕

Yes tinder date

once. Never again.

Neither a borrower not a lender be. I live by that, except for a mortgage which I paid off early.

Yes... My sister 10.000 pounds that I got in insurance (was in a really bad car crash.. Broken spine etc) I was very vulnerable and lent her the cash for her to pay her mortgage arrears etc.. Should never have done it 😭 no longer in contact with her 😭

As a teen I was working when a couple of my friends weren’t, and I got in to a bit of a habit of paying for stuff. Not loads, but it was very one sided. But I learnt a lesson young, and would never lend what I couldn’t afford to not get back

She has blocked me on every thing and has moved so I don't know where she lives😢 I would forgive her and can't imagine not seeing her again 😭

Dh lent his brother money...not a massive amount but still. Never got it back. We have nothing to do with them at all.

When I was 18 my friend lost a ring that his girlfriend had given him. I lived right next to the shop where she’d bought it and he said can you get me a replacement before she finds out? So I did. It cost £25. Never got the £25 back from him though!

Yes a mum I used to know-I used to cut her kids hair for free as I knew she couldn’t afford to pay hairdresssers prices
She was with a right dickhead-two kids and he smoked all their money on weed,drank like a fish and was a nasty twat-I’d often feed the kids too
She needed money to get away from him so I lent her £150 which is a lot of money to me
Not only did she not get her kids away from him,she went on holiday with him and she got pregnant again!
She went on to have baby and has ignored me every time I see her
She’s gone round slagging my hair skills off to everyone-good enough when it was free! (Which has cost me money in new clients)

So if your reading this S-karma will bite your arse you freeloading cow

My brother £80. My parents lent him £13 grand. Dad's redundancy payment to help him and his wife through a rough patch. Paid about £300 back and never paid the rest. This was about 15 years ago. We are NC now.

Never lend money unless you can afford not to have it back. I have just lent someone £1000 to help start up their business. I'm not expecting her to pay it back for some months, snd if she never does I can afford the loss. She has done some work for me since and she hasn't sent an invoice - I guess she is using that as a 'part repayment'.

A colleague recently told me she was in really bad situation, husband had been fired, and she owed the school breakfast club £150 and had no money for rent or groceries. She wanted to borrow £600 in total. I told her to ask family rather than friends - I don't have that amount of money going spare to lend to someone who may not return it.

I think trust no one is a bit dramatic OP! And a short route to a lonely life.. but it’s true when you trust you do risk being hurt.

I’ve been paid back and not paid back. As a rule borrowing from friends and family should be a last resort, you should agree a repayment plan - and - don’t lend it unless you are OK with loosing it.

@ukborn

Never lend money unless you can afford not to have it back. I have just lent someone £1000 to help start up their business. I'm not expecting her to pay it back for some months, snd if she never does I can afford the loss. She has done some work for me since and she hasn't sent an invoice - I guess she is using that as a 'part repayment'.

This is pretty much how I view it as well. I don't lend money. I will give money if I have the money to give. If they give it back, great. If not, it was money I gave them, so no loss.

I would not put myself or my family into financial peril by lending money with the expectation of getting it back, or having any financial burden that hinges upon someone else paying me back.

I got a sob story from a family member that I would have considered myself close to. She was in arrears on her mortgage and at risk of having the house repossessed. She knew I had been saving for a deposit for my own house and cried with gratitude when I said I would lend her some to pay of her arrears. I told her I wouldn't need it back for a few months and she could pay it off a bit at a time, she agreed to that and said she'd pay me back as soon as she could.

I gave her a four figure sum, enough to cover the arrears and a few months going forward to give her a bit of breathing space. I don't know what she spent it on but it wasn't her mortgage, the house was repossessed about two months later and they were evicted. She stopped contact shortly after I gave her the money. At first I thought she was embarrassed that she didn't have it to pay back so I let her know there was no rush - still no contact.

I realised I'd been had and was never going to see a penny of it again. I've written it off as a very expensive lesson, but one I won't fall for again! It hurts though to learn how little some people think of you.

Yes. And she was angry with me!!! I asked max two times if i could be repaid and she sent her mother over to my mother. Her mother wanted to make my mother aware that i was behaving like a loan shark.

My mother didnt say that much but she did point out i had worked all summer.

Yeah, my ex has about £7k off me for car problems

Just my siblings but then I've borrowed money from them that I've not paid back so I think we're about even?

@Bluelillies if the next letter is A then I'm afraid to say she hasn't changed and steals from everyone she ever meets including her own child and grandchildren. Evil bitch.