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Original poster

Have you ever lent someone money and never got it back?

88 replies

marooncat7 · 28/02/2022 14:47

In my early 20s I had a friend, well actually he was a bit more than a friend. He lived abroad and we had met a few times and had a bit of a holiday romance. We spoke online all the time and it was, I believed, a friendship.

But he then lost his job, and was going through financial issues (or so he said). He said he was sleeping in his car and asked me for money to buy food via Western Union. I suggested he ask his family for help, but he came up with lots of excuses. He promised he would pay me back and stupidly I believed him. So I sent him £100 (which goes quite far in his country). He wanted more than that. But I said that's all I could give, as I was a student myself with a small income.

Well, surprise surprise, I never got the money back. I know I was stupid to ever think I would, or to give it in the first place. I am not usually someone who is so easily fooled.

However, he did put pictures on social media within a week of him and his new girlfriend, who he had started to live with. Obviously he wasn't living in his car anymore Confused

I have no idea why he did such a thing to me, and I suppose I never will know. But watching things like The Tinder Swindler brings it all back, even though £100 is a small sum compared to what those women lost.

It taught me to trust no one Angry and that many people out there have no conscience.

OP posts:
Bluelillies · 28/02/2022 18:12

[quote hdjdjehhdhdvsv]@Bluelillies if the next letter is A then I'm afraid to say she hasn't changed and steals from everyone she ever meets including her own child and grandchildren. Evil bitch.[/quote]
It is but she doesn’t have grandchildren
Her kids are school age/toddler
I did find out she owes so many people money-she has no end of debts

Karma will bite her on the ass

Pyewhacket · 28/02/2022 18:12

Twice, about £500 each time, out of my savings. To a friend who said she was desperate, for her rent and heating. This was following her divorce.

I never saw a penny of it back until I bumped into her EXH on Paddington Station some years later. We went for coffee and he transfered the money to me there and then. The following day she was on the phone to me, shouting ; that any money he had belonged to her. I understood the divorce after that. She was a user.

Kyiv · 28/02/2022 19:33

Yes, I lent money to a friend who had been doing work in our house. I paid him for the work. Full price, not mates rates, as I think it's important to pay people what they're worth. He asked to borrow £100 to pay an unexpectedly high energy bill in October. Sent me a screenshot of the bill so I know the reason was legit. Has awkwardly avoided me since then.

RufustheFloralmissingreindeer · 28/02/2022 19:36

Yes 2k

But tragically she died and obviously I really didn’t feel I could ask her partner for it

2catsandhappy · 28/02/2022 20:47

I have been stung a few times with cash. Now I do practical stuff like gift a fridge or phone or groceries or whatever is needed.
I have been desperate before and hate the idea of someone laying awake worrying.

RedRobin100 · 28/02/2022 20:49

I lent my mum £3k number of years ago. Haven’t got it back but won’t be asking for it.

BabyTurtIe · 28/02/2022 20:55

Yes to an ex

Goinghome20 · 28/02/2022 21:03

Lent an old friend a small amount after she split with her dh. She was struggling to pay bills etc. Since found out she had borrowed simialr from all our mutual friends.

Never paid any of it back. Living with new man now. I send her a christmas card every year to remind her I exist 😂 Dont expect to see it, or her, ever again tho.

Dmsandfloatydress · 28/02/2022 21:08

No, when a friend asked to borrow £200 I just gave it to her as a gift . That way there was no hard feelings and she knows I don't lend money so it's awkward to ask people to give you money for free. I let everyone I know that if they are desperate I give if I have it but I never lend. All friendships intact.

fluffythedragonslayer · 28/02/2022 21:39

Years ago - I was 22 and I became close with a colleague in her 30s. She had 3 kids and, from what she told me, an unreliable partner.
Long story short I paid a few bills on my credit card for her as she fed me sob stories about electric being cut off etc. She paid me a bit back in dribs and drabs over a couple of months, but left the company we worked for still owing me £85. I never heard from her again.

Jada1234 · 28/02/2022 21:45

I lent 65k to a friend whom was a property developer 17yrs ago they never gave me a penny back. I lost my home back then and my children and I were homeless, just because I was stupid enough to trust someone.

AlphaJura · 01/03/2022 08:02

Yes I lent £100 to a friend, an older guy, done it previously and he'd always paid me back. This time, despite numerous requests and lies saying he was going to pay it back, he didn't and in the end I wrote it off. I since found out he'd become a heroin addict! Explains a lot. I don't have anything to do with him anymore.

DressingPafe · 01/03/2022 08:09

Many years ago, when I was 14, I had a summer job. I saved £200 and this was in the 80’s so it was a lot of money. My dad asked to borrow it in the Autumn to buy Christmas presents (my mum wasn’t around) He never returned it and, to add insult to injury, he only spent £5 on my gift!

On the positive side it taught me a valuable lesson at a young age! I have not always been treated well by men, but no man has ever got the better of me financially. I also don’t lend money to anyone full stop.

Asdf12345 · 01/03/2022 08:10

Banks are for lending. If someone has got to a position where the banks are no longer an option you won’t get your money back.

I have offered to help people fill out applications etc but they always actually seem to want an interest free loan with no mechanism to force repayment.

De88 · 01/03/2022 08:20

Yes, to a so called friend who knew I was a poor student at the time with a baby on the way. Kept promising repayments and then just nothing so I stopped contacting.. In my head I wrote it off as money I would have spent going out etc with him over the years.

pinkyredrose · 01/03/2022 08:22

I lent 65k to a friend whom was a property developer 17yrs ago they never gave me a penny back. I lost my home back then and my children and I were homeless, just because I was stupid enough to trust someone.

65k! Shock Why on earth did you lend so much? Did you use your house as collateral?

Thirkettle · 01/03/2022 08:29

No, I'm not stupid enough to ever lend people money.

DrManhattan · 01/03/2022 08:31

Nope, never lent money. I can help people in other ways, childcare etc but lending money is just pushing the issue into the next month.

Mumoblue · 01/03/2022 08:34

I lent a co-worker a tenner and never saw it again. I was very young and she gave me a (probably true) sob story about not having enough money. I also didn’t have enough money so I said a tenner was the most I could do. She was quite pushy and even walked with me to the cash point.

Maybe I’m just a bleeding heart but I still feel kind of bad for her, but I wouldn’t do it again.

DillonPanthersTexas · 01/03/2022 08:35

Yes, an old school friend, it was a decent sum of money supposedly to help him out on a new training course. Seeing him on Facebook partying at high end bars etc a few days afterwards was a bit annoying. Turned out he had borrowed money from several people to fund a champagne lifestyle he could not afford himself. Needless to say he ended up losing a lot of friends.

Bigfishlittlepuddle · 01/03/2022 08:43

I got told as a child that the best way to get rid of a friend is to loan them money. I'll give someone money, with the proviso that I can afford it and if its repaid whoopee, if not, no loss.

lawandgin · 01/03/2022 08:51

Yes. About £1200 to my coke head brother. I didn't know the first time (£500). The second time I did, but did it was to try and save him from getting his head kicked in by his dealer and on the proviso he paid me back the minute he got the cash advance on the credit card he'd just applied for. I've learnt a lot since then.

Mermaidkisses · 01/03/2022 09:14

My 30 year old step son (his dad and I were only dating at the time) £100 from my tiny £500 savings! He took the money, no thank you and then slagged me off to his sisters because it was only £100 and "she must be rolling in it"
He asked again this week!

Jada1234 · 01/03/2022 09:18

It was a business partner I lent the money to. Some was savings and collateral.
We are fine now, lucky enough to be mortgage free. Now living with severe health problems.

SartresSoul · 01/03/2022 09:18

Yup. I was in a relationship years ago with an abusive twat who had a ket addiction against my knowledge to begin with. He lost his job a few months after we met and started asking to ‘borrow money’. He ‘borrowed’ about £200 in the end and he gave me a paltry sum back at Christmas that year, about £20 I think. Never saw the rest of it, I ended things when he held a knife to my throat. Stalked me for months after the split and assaulted me in the street eventually, I wrote the money off as £180 well spent just to get rid of him iykwim.

Sometimes it’s better just writing the money off.