It’s come out that my husband, whom I totally trusted and I thought was the most moral and dependable person ever, has been using porn and sex chat lines ever since we got married. That has progressed in the last decade to hooking up with women on webcams to have online sex (sometimes a few times a week!) He likes to return to the same ones so much so they’ve got to recognise/know him and they have chats. He’s told me the things he’d want them to do and all the compliments he’d give them. I feel sick and disorientated. Over the years he’s spent over £10,000 on this and I never realised!! He says they were easier to be with than me because they took compliments better! Actually he never complimented me. He says eventually, if we ever actually had sex (which was rare because he always pushed me away!) he’d fantasise about them.
My husband is getting therapy for sex addiction and childhood trauma therapy but I feel so lonely and rejected. I don’t know what to do. It’s all I can think about and I have horrible images flash into my mind often. Are there any stories of people forgiving their partners and being able to build afresh? I’ve lost my bearings and don’t know if I’m being too hopeful or too dramatic!