Hubby wants a round of applause

[autienotnaughty]

So I have just come back from a night away. Oh flew solo with ds 1.5 days. Also our dog was there who's more demanding than child! Dh was happy for me to go no issues. When I got back house was a state (clothes on floor, dog hair not swept, muddy paw prints and uniform wasn't ready for school) I never said a word but I moaned this morning about feeling tired. He said I can't complain as I'd been having fun and seems to think he's done something impressive by looking after his child! On occasions when he has gone away everything just ticks over. I appreciate I work less hours so take on more of housework generally but aibu to feel he should keep on top of jobs when I'm not there?

I cannot believe this. OF COURSE it's completely unacceptable. I'd be raging. Although it would never happen here, DH would make sure the house looked lovely and everything was sorted ready for the week. You know, because he is a responsible parent and that is what we do.

some of the men on here are a total waste of space. god knows how they convinced people to marry them in the first place.

I can understand that you feel annoyed but be careful. He might have not managed to have everything right but if you say anything will he take it on board or will he use it as an excuse if you want to go away again. He might use it as ammunition ‘ I didn’t get it right last time’ etc (whiny voice)

I think I would keep quiet stick some music on and sort the house out. I’m not saying you should just my DH would use this as reason why I shouldn’t go in the past. If he doesn’t get something right he uses it as an excuse not to do it again.
Leave him a list next time. I find they work better with a list!

@Redsquirrel5

I can understand that you feel annoyed but be careful. He might have not managed to have everything right but if you say anything will he take it on board or will he use it as an excuse if you want to go away again. He might use it as ammunition ‘ I didn’t get it right last time’ etc (whiny voice)

I think I would keep quiet stick some music on and sort the house out. I’m not saying you should just my DH would use this as reason why I shouldn’t go in the past. If he doesn’t get something right he uses it as an excuse not to do it again.
Leave him a list next time. I find they work better with a list!

Did you misread the first post think this is a toddler that the OP is talking about?

I've got a weird opposite dynamic. When I go away, DH goes into hyperdrive and everything is spotless when I get back.

But then he instantly slides back into not doing much and it drives me mad!

It feels as if he's putting on a show 'see how easy all this is, I don't know why you make such a fuss' then as soon as I'm back he becomes mess blind again.

@Redsquirrel5

I can understand that you feel annoyed but be careful. He might have not managed to have everything right but if you say anything will he take it on board or will he use it as an excuse if you want to go away again. He might use it as ammunition ‘ I didn’t get it right last time’ etc (whiny voice)

I think I would keep quiet stick some music on and sort the house out. I’m not saying you should just my DH would use this as reason why I shouldn’t go in the past. If he doesn’t get something right he uses it as an excuse not to do it again.
Leave him a list next time. I find they work better with a list!

wtf? Why do you need his permission to go anywhere? The way you describe him sounds like you're married to a teenager

@Redsquirrel5

I can understand that you feel annoyed but be careful. He might have not managed to have everything right but if you say anything will he take it on board or will he use it as an excuse if you want to go away again. He might use it as ammunition ‘ I didn’t get it right last time’ etc (whiny voice)

I think I would keep quiet stick some music on and sort the house out. I’m not saying you should just my DH would use this as reason why I shouldn’t go in the past. If he doesn’t get something right he uses it as an excuse not to do it again.
Leave him a list next time. I find they work better with a list!

OP shouldn't complain that he did nothing and left it all for her to do when she comes back in case he doesn't let her go again? Really? Are you that well trained?

will he use it as an excuse if you want to go away again. He might use it as ammunition ‘ I didn’t get it right last time’ etc (whiny voice) I mean I would literally cote this on the divorce petition as why I'm filing. He's an adult. If your toddlerhubby uses his whiny voice to control you remember he's the toddlerhubby and you're the mommy wife so put him on the naughty step and then go any way.

@girlmom21 and in case he uses his whiny voice. I imagine whilst sticking out him bottom lip, stamping his foot and refusing to put his pants on.

@FusionChefGeoff

I've got a weird opposite dynamic. When I go away, DH goes into hyperdrive and everything is spotless when I get back.

But then he instantly slides back into not doing much and it drives me mad!

It feels as if he's putting on a show 'see how easy all this is, I don't know why you make such a fuss' then as soon as I'm back he becomes mess blind again.

Wow that must be annoying. Thing is it's easy when that's all your doing it's all the extra jobs and the mental load that makers it tough

I dunno, on the one hand I'd be pissed off with that comment, on the other hand I think whoever stays at home and holds the fort should get a bit of leeway. I'd be annoyed if DH went away and then came home feeling sorry for himself because he'd been enjoying himself and started looking a bit judgey about the state of the house. Equally, if I'm the one that goes away, I am ready to do a bit extra when I get back and know I'll be doing bedtime solo etc. because it's just the nice thing to do to show a bit of gratitude that the other person enabled my escape.

When my DH wants praise for doing something like emptying the dishwasher or cleaning up after dinner, he reminds me of a golden retriever...wagging his tail and wanting me to pat him on the head and tell him what a good boy he is! Its infuriating.

OH my DH has a tendency to to this too - DD and I play him this every time!!

I would expect equal effort from a partner a grown man should be capable of this, so it would piss me off tbh. But I'm also single as I had all this in my last relationship and I just won't go there again. No reason why banal household tasks always need to fall to us.

To add, the mess etc wouldn't bother me. What would bother me was if there was an expectation of me to clean it up.

Can you imagine the thread where the bloke goes away for a jolly, comes back and is tired (hungover?) and complains about the mess!

its just a bit of mess no big deal! I came back after a week away to husband and toddler recently - place was in bits - washing basket full etc - but I just couldn't care - I was delighted to have had my week away on my own.

We just chipped away at tidying up over the next week. not a fight i really care to have.

ugh this thread is from February

Exactly. A break is meant to be just that, a break, not "oh I'll just have to catch up later". It's pathetic.

Just noticed this is a near zombie. FFS "your might also be interested in" can sod off.

Ugh my Dh is like this. Had 3yo to himself overnight once.

Him: It was hard but I don’t think it’s as hard as women say it is.

Me: Child is still alive, that’s good. Did you teach him anything? Practice the alphabet or counting? Personal hygiene? Did you also while doing that do 3 loads of laundry and cook 5 meals? Did you vacuum and do the shopping for the week and take him to then playground?

DH: Erm.

Sorry that was me again I saw it in the 'you may like' section and didn't look at the date I've done that twice now 😬😅

Bloody you may like section. Just realised you can't see it in the app so if you only use the app you'd have no idea.

Ah yeah I'm on site via my phone best download the app 😂

This! So many women mother their men too. Why?