to wish women would stop calling women hysterical

[strawberryapricotpie]

It's a horrible, reductive and frequently inaccurate insult which has been used to keep women down for literally centuries and it's really depressing that this is still going on. There's been so much of it on these boards, especially over the past week. English is a rich language, surely we can express ourselves and even indulge in standard MN-mud-slinging at other posters without needing to use this word.

Oh, and before anyone accuses me of trying to police free speech/tell women what to say, I'm not. I'm expressing disappointment that society still finds it necessary to use this word whenever people, particularly women, dare to make statements that are considered troublesome in some way. I'm sure this post is going to attract the usual sneerers, but I don't particularly care.

Good for you! Totally agree with you, as I've never heard anyone refer to a man as getting 'hysterical'!

@Speakuptomakeyourselfheard

Good for you! Totally agree with you, as I've never heard anyone refer to a man as getting 'hysterical'!

Exactly.

Those who've voted YABU, does this dichotomy not bother you? Just curious.

Not just women men too

My ex husband asked me a question I said no and explained why I get absolute froth back telling me to CALM DOWN don't get EMOTIONAL stop being HYSTERICAL

I literally said something along the lines of can't swap days Ive booked us (kids and i) a day out and I'm unable to change it at short notice simple and factual not HYSTERICAL!!

I saw someone the other day have the ‘epiphany’ that the word was in some way related to hysterectomy so I think it’s mainly just ignorance that means women use it without thinking/knowing about the history of the word. I can’t see how anyone who has done even some cursory reading about medical attitudes towards women could ever use the word. But then I hear women using the “it’s my time of the month so I may be being unreasonable/hormonal” etc to explain why they are pissed off at their OH for some perfectly pissed-off-able behaviour so I realise that some women just don’t care about those ingrained misogynistic attitudes.

FWIW I split up with my DP after 9 years together because he kept throwing the time of the month trope at me every time we argued, even now I’m well into peri and don’t have a fucking TOTM anymore. Some people are just arseholes who think women should behave impeccably at all times and that if they ever have an opinion that differentiates them from a doormat they are clearly being “hormonal”.

Origins of the word

Origins of the word are irrelevant. Nobody cares how the word came into being or whether there was misogyny behind it. Fact is nowadays it just means "affected by or deriving from wildly uncontrolled emotion".

As to the word being used, well if the shoe fits...

I know the origins of the word. I would use it in reference to any gender or population but realise it is controversial and elect to use other words these days. Not because I accept it should be outlawed but because I don’t want to be patronised by people lecturing me on its use.

It’s an interesting discussion, because it’s been used here a lot this week in the context of the anxiety around the ongoing Ukraine issue. Also was used a lot when people were stockpiling tinned beans and loo roll. Also tends to get used about small fallings out between friends etc

The question is - are there similar threads on male dominated forums like Pistonheads where men are worried about stockpiling beans and discussing being offended by other dads at the school gates etc etc?

I am absolutely all for neutral language and stamping out misogyny, but sometimes the word is absolutely appropriate and does apply to women in a way that I can’t see it does always apply to men

What words would be better for people using wildly emotive terms in an attempt to overload the discussion?

"Origins of the word are irrelevant. Nobody cares how the word came into being or whether there was misogyny behind it."

I think this would be true if the stereotype was completely gone, but it isn't. I stopped using it and have mostly stopped using other gender based insults such as "bitchy" and "cow" for this reason.

"are there similar threads on male dominated forums like Pistonheads where men are worried about stockpiling beans and discussing being offended by other dads at the school gates etc etc?"

If such discussions occur, I bet the worrier is mocked as being a "pussy" or "fanny" or "squealing like a girl".

I don’t use the word any more because of the misogynistic origins, but it’s annoying because it would often be useful to have a word for a ridiculously excessive reaction based on panic.

I'm aware that masculine words are used as insults too, although "cock" and "dick" are just generically used to mean somebody unpleasant and "cunt" is used in the same way.

Hysterical, bitch(y) and pussy are used as insults to attack specific aspects of the character of the target.

It isn't always used as appropriate though it's used to shut women down in many cases

100% agree OP. yanbu

It depends on the context

If it's being said to shut women up, then it's wrong. If it's being used in line with it's current dictionary definition then it's fine.

I avoid using it, and only only use it for men, specifically my brother, who it does fit.

@owlinnahat

What words would be better for people using wildly emotive terms in an attempt to overload the discussion?

Well, what words would you use to a man doing that? I'm guessing 'hysterical' isn't one of them...

@Speakuptomakeyourselfheard

Good for you! Totally agree with you, as I've never heard anyone refer to a man as getting 'hysterical'!

I have. Many times. Also I don't think most people know the origin of the word anyway. I mean how many times have you heard the phrase "hysterical with laughter"? Or "hysterically funny"? The word has evolved.

I mean how many times have you heard the phrase "hysterical with laughter"? Or "hysterically funny"?
The word has evolved.

But those usages are clearly benign. It's not the same thing.

@Charley50

I avoid using it, and only only use it for men, specifically my brother, who it does fit.

You need to start calling him ‘Testerical’ as per the brilliant Man Who Has It All Facebook page, which flips men and women to show how absurd it all is.

'Testerical', love it Just been exploring that page, it's great

I would add the term 'pearl clutchers' also. Regularly seen on MN, haven't seen or heard it much anywhere else.

@TooMuchPaper

I would add the term 'pearl clutchers' also. Regularly seen on MN, haven't seen or heard it much anywhere else.

Yes indeed, I've never heard it outside MN either but it's very dismissive and casually insulting, not to mention intrinsically misogynistic.