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Original poster

First date tonight - when do I contact him

82 replies

isla1982 · 27/02/2022 11:07

Hi all
First date tonight with a guy I've been chatting to online for a couple of weeks. We've been exchanging messages back and forth and take a good few hours/a day to reply to each other each time so I'm not concerned about that. I last sent a message at 6pm last night which he's not opened yet. We haven't set a time but have decided the place we are going to this eve etc. Should I wait for him to respond to my message from last night or should I message him again asking him what time to meet? He's got his little one this morning so I imagine that's why I've not heard anything yet

OP posts:
winterchills · 27/02/2022 18:52

Good luck on your date 😬

Madeintowerhamlets · 27/02/2022 19:06

Hope it goes well OP!

fairylightsandwaxmelts · 27/02/2022 19:19

I think it’s just you. That’s why most restaurants close between 11-12 pm…

Not around here they don't!

Last food orders are normally 8pm Grin

1forAll74 · 27/02/2022 19:27

I wouldn't like to be in this situation, as in meeting on line etc.with messages here and there. Perhaps because of old style dating years ago, where you met people out and about, and no dating sites anywhere,.

Hope you have a good date, my message served no purpose really.!!

aibutohavethisusername · 27/02/2022 20:15

Hope it is all going well.

WaterBottle123 · 27/02/2022 20:29

Just here for the update

Hiphopboppertybop99 · 27/02/2022 20:29

Just clocked the time @isla1982, hope all is going well Wine

Hopefullyoneday12 · 27/02/2022 20:36

Enjoy hope it goes really well!

His style of contact would really bug me. How can you wait a day to open a message or think to message someone you're keen on. It's not hard to find 5 mins. Especially if the person in question is on your mind. Doesn't sound keen but I hope I am wrong and that it's all brilliant.

AngelinaFibres · 27/02/2022 20:54

@wingscrow

Don't message him again.

This is not a good sign. He should have confirmed all details with you in advance. It is rude to assume someone is happy to wait for a time of meeting to be confirmed at the last minute on the day.

Also, as a general tip I would meet first for a coffee and an informal chat rather than plan a full evening outing when OLD. You know nothing about him and the first encounter is usually a chance to assess initial compatibility and then move on to have a proper date.

Having a coffee means you can leave fairly quickly if you don't click and no alcohol is involved. It is easier as well to fit into your usual routine so there isn't too much disruption if the guy cancels at the last minute/does not turn up.

Yes definitely. You will know the minute you see him if you fancy him. It may grow if there us something there , but a no will be instant.
AngelinaFibres · 27/02/2022 20:55

@isla1982

Hey ladies! Just had a text saying he's booked us a table somewhere at 8.30 :-)
Good news. Although by 8.30 I woukd be eating my own arm
Campervangirl · 27/02/2022 21:00

8:30 I'd be going on my pj's 😂
Enjoy and update us

AngelinaFibres · 27/02/2022 21:02

[quote Sweetlikejollof]@Itloggedmeoutagain Same. And we’re getting married in six months.

I’ve never understood the ‘meet as early as possible’ school of thought. From my perspective, if I just wanted to meet up with strange men about whom I knew nothing, I’d just go to a bar and find some. The whole point of online dating for me was that I could chat to people beforehand and suss them out a bit.[/quote]
Sometimes it works but often it doesn't. I chatted to a tall Irish man for quite a while. In my head I had named our tiny Irish offspring who would all talk like daddy.Beautiful voice, really beautiful but when we met it was a no. I really, really wanted to fancy him. But I just didnt. Would have been better to meet sooner .

AngelinaFibres · 27/02/2022 21:11

@fairylightsandwaxmelts

I think it’s just you. That’s why most restaurants close between 11-12 pm…

Not around here they don't!

Last food orders are normally 8pm Grin

Not even open on a Sunday night here. SmileSmile city living.....its a whole other fabulous world
Iamasingingtelegram · 27/02/2022 21:55

Best of luck 🤞🏼

Sweetlikejollof · 27/02/2022 22:39

@AngelinaFibres The vast majority of dates don’t ‘work out’, if by ‘work out’ you mean we fall in love and live happily ever after. And I’m pretty okay with that.

When I was OLD, I was chatting to people online to see if I would enjoy meeting them, then meeting them to see if I wanted to take it further. I enjoyed the chats, enjoyed the dates (as I screened out all the people I wouldn’t actually enjoy meeting) and had a rather lovely time. I eventually met my person and I’m delighted about that. But, even if I hadn’t, I’d still have gone on some very nice dates with some very cool, funny, interesting men.

If I’d met up with people sooner, I would have gone on a much higher quantity of dates, of lower quality. This didn’t appeal to me.

ode2me · 27/02/2022 23:15

Good luck op

Original poster
isla1982 · 28/02/2022 08:12

Hi everyone! Had a great time last night, good chemistry between us! Although both got rather drunk! Can't of been that bad though, he texted me straight after and again this morning! Smile

OP posts:
Flossie2 · 28/02/2022 08:56

That's absolutely great!! Exciting! Smile

Catflapkitkat · 28/02/2022 09:00

Well done OP. Nothing better than the thrill of a new romance

Babadook76 · 28/02/2022 09:03

@Campervangirl

8:30 I'd be going on my pj's 😂 Enjoy and update us
Same. I’d be horrified if someone suggested an 8pm date 😂
Qwill · 28/02/2022 09:09

Joystir59
8.30 seems very late to me. Is that just me?

I was thinking it’s a bit early!!!

Not sure why the guy was getting the flack for not firming up a time, both parties are able to do that? I think it sounds completely normal to pick and evening and then firm up plans later.

Sweetlikejollof · 28/02/2022 11:08

@Qwill What time do you have dinner, then?

This thread is revealing a fascinating range of dinner time that I had no idea existed.

Qwill · 28/02/2022 13:34

We eat around 2130 in the evenings, probably later at the weekend. I would have thought 2030 was the standard time for dinner? It’s always the most popular restaurant booking time.

Sweetlikejollof · 28/02/2022 14:48

I think it’s the standard time, as well. I thought you were saying it was too early.

CallyfromBlakes7 · 28/02/2022 14:53

Glad it went well OP.

It would be too late for me too, I am in bed by 10pm. But I don't need to get kids to bed.

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