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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU? Cancelled sleepover - one hours notice?

96 replies

UpintNorth · 25/02/2022 18:22

Just that really, usually very generous friends, have had our kids numerous times. I’ve offered to reciprocate, but their kids won’t sleep away from home. Half term, declined other invites for a much anticipated sleepover. Friends have texted to say “can we rearrange, not much time to play and we are going out mid morning tomorrow”. Kids bags both packed - both looking forward to it - both now gutted. Am hastily arranging a family film night. AIBU here to be annoyed? I checked with them at 9:30am that was still going ahead?

OP posts:
GlendaSugarbeanIsJudgingYou · 26/02/2022 00:43

Totes agree BlondeWidow.

OP should have taken dailymail sad face photos and sent them to her friends.

The children will clearly never recover.

UsernameInTheTown · 26/02/2022 05:10

DD8 had a highly anticipated first sleepover arranged for early this week. DF she invited had a different child round the night before, last minute plan, so cancelled DD's sleepover on the morning of the day it was due to take place. We have hosted said child numerous times and DD has not been invited back.
Sadly DD is learning fast that people are flaky untrustworthy arseholes.

stayathomer · 26/02/2022 14:17

Why are these PPs declaring that these total strangers must have had a row or had something occur? Why is it not feasible that they've simply changed their minds and been fucking selfish?! This 'doormat' nonsense is how CFs are created!
Because in real life this is more feasible than people changing their mind just because they're being selfish.

hellithurt · 26/02/2022 15:51

@BlondeWidow

I would never, ever speak to them again. Ever. Not after hurting my child like that
It's a bit mean but come on!
JedEye · 26/02/2022 17:44

@BlondeWidow

I would never, ever speak to them again. Ever. Not after hurting my child like that
Bit harsh Shock
GrannyMack63 · 26/02/2022 17:57

@Jedsnewstar

Parents have had a barny.
I think this is likely the real reason 😁
Magicandspiders · 26/02/2022 18:17

YABU. Things happen.

Original poster
UpintNorth · 26/02/2022 18:23

Thanks all! Perspective regained :)

All your opinions have been enlightening…to the poster who asked what let it go means, I meant in my own mind. The family are kind, kids are good friends, and I will offer a full day childcare for them as soon as I am able. Smile

OP posts:
maria57 · 26/02/2022 19:00

The fact that they have always got your kids whether their kids will stay at yours or not...I would not have considered to even put your situation on here. They are very kind, generous people... who are you to maybe feel uppity about it. Sounds to me it bothers you more that you have had tonights arrangements spoilt with other adults at your home because you have to look after your own kids. You should not take other peoples goodwill for granted.

Original poster
UpintNorth · 26/02/2022 19:12

@maria57

It was last night Smile and I wasn’t upset because of plans - we didn’t have any - only that my kids were disappointed as it was such short notice. (Their bags packed etc and had popcorn for a movie with their friends). As others have said they got over it.

I didn’t ask for them to look after them either - they offered, as they have in the past, and I have offered back: the only thing I didn’t think of was to have their kids during the day as they don’t do sleepovers but I will offer this for sure.

I don’t think I take them for granted, I’m very grateful and the kids love the time with their friends. If we have a rare meal we use a paid babysitter - last time was August - and twice in the past 3 years, my friend and their godmother has stayed over as a prearranged thing. I’ll read your post again though, as the last thing I want is to be ungrateful or entitled.

OP posts:
SpiderVersed · 26/02/2022 19:16

@UpintNorth

Thanks all! Perspective regained :)

All your opinions have been enlightening…to the poster who asked what let it go means, I meant in my own mind. The family are kind, kids are good friends, and I will offer a full day childcare for them as soon as I am able. Smile

Well played, OP.

The only times we've had to pull out like this were when there was something of a family crisis that we didn't want to share with others. Whether it's a fight between parents, something significant coming to light, a scary diagnosis of of one of our parents that meant we needed to circle the wagons, it's been properly significant.

Trust your instincts - they are good friends and reliable people. They won't have done this on a whim.

I hope family movie night is fabulous!

Fluffmum · 26/02/2022 19:43

Let it slide

Bleachmycloths · 26/02/2022 20:04

If they’ve had a barney the atmosphere at their house will be awful. Your children are better off with you. X

ThistleTits · 26/02/2022 22:28

@Jedsnewstar

Parents have had a barny.
Defo this ^
Murdoch1949 · 26/02/2022 23:05

Sad for your children, annoying for you, but zilch you can do about it. Talk to parent next week about how disappointed your children were and how you were concerned for the family. Is everything ok? Nothing else to be done.

Original poster
UpintNorth · 27/02/2022 10:30

@Murdoch1949 thanks. All blown over now. I have asked the other children for play date and tea next week and they have accepted.

OP posts:
Bromse · 27/02/2022 15:02

That's good, UpinNorth. It really was a storm in a teacup, the sort of thing that happens all the time.

Mandyjack · 27/02/2022 19:08

There might be another reason that they don't want to tell you so made a vague excuse. Sure kids are gutted too but these things happen. If she's not a repeat offender then can't see the issue. Kids need to learn that things don't always go to plan

Mandyjack · 27/02/2022 19:09

@Murdoch1949

Sad for your children, annoying for you, but zilch you can do about it. Talk to parent next week about how disappointed your children were and how you were concerned for the family. Is everything ok? Nothing else to be done.
And make the poor woman feel guilty and awkward?
Mandyjack · 27/02/2022 19:14

@BlondeWidow

I would never, ever speak to them again. Ever. Not after hurting my child like that
Either your being sarcastic or way over the top
notacooldad · 27/02/2022 21:21

Talk to parent next week about how disappointed your children were and how you were concerned for the family. Is everything ok? Nothing else to be done

Jesus, why on earth would you do that!! If I was to be asking how she is I wouldn’t be using disappointed kids as a way in! Awful.

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