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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU? Cancelled sleepover - one hours notice?

96 replies

UpintNorth · 25/02/2022 18:22

Just that really, usually very generous friends, have had our kids numerous times. I’ve offered to reciprocate, but their kids won’t sleep away from home. Half term, declined other invites for a much anticipated sleepover. Friends have texted to say “can we rearrange, not much time to play and we are going out mid morning tomorrow”. Kids bags both packed - both looking forward to it - both now gutted. Am hastily arranging a family film night. AIBU here to be annoyed? I checked with them at 9:30am that was still going ahead?

OP posts:
Bromse · 25/02/2022 20:25

I wouldn't have thought it mattered that much, plans change all the time and you say your friends are usually generous. Let them off this time, it will soon be forgotten.

Darbs76 · 25/02/2022 20:30

Did they originally offer to have your kids or did you ask? I’d wait for them to reschedule. Your kids will be fine

TopCatsTopHat · 25/02/2022 20:35

If this is out of character, something has happened. Rubbish feeling, probably for them too. Show them patience and kindness and maybe you'll get the real story sometime.

stayathomer · 25/02/2022 20:38

I'd assume the kids are cranky/wrecked or the parents had a fight or something. This is why we always say they might be going as opposed to a definite!! Hope you all have a nice night in op

KateyKontent · 25/02/2022 20:44

Was the sleepover starting at 10.30am? Until when?

We have no support local to us to help with childcare. Booking a night away when DC have a sleepover is foolhardy. When DS was with scouts, there was a rule that parents should either not go away or have a nominated stand in available 24/7.

ancientgran · 25/02/2022 20:45

@Jedsnewstar

Parents have had a barny.
My thought as well.
PadBurnup · 25/02/2022 20:50

Sleepovers are a nice to have, not a guarentee.

Overnight babysitting because you are going away is something that needs to be communicated and agreed as a special event- with everyone knowing you will be away so that you are not the emergency contacts.
I would cancel a sleepover at short notice and not worry too much about doing so if my circumstances changed as it is a nice to have.

LilacPaisley · 25/02/2022 20:51

Yup. They've had a row.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 25/02/2022 21:01

I agree, they must have had a row

Blondeshavemorefun · 25/02/2022 21:13

Seems late to cancel

If a sleepover I would assume be there for least tea so 4 onwards

Not going there 630/730pm

Thisisit2022 · 25/02/2022 21:30

Not being goady but...you said they're always generous and always having your two (despite your invitations to have theirs), but did they invite them or did you ask? Or did their kids ask?

cocktailclub · 25/02/2022 21:35

@UpintNorth

Thanks all. Appreciate the advice. I suspect there are other reasons, knowing the family. Will let it go.

Thanks Mumsnetters. Thank god OH and I hadn’t booked anything !

I find it strange and quite entitled to say you will "let it go". They have your kids over a lot. You can't reciprocate (their choice) totally their prerogative and what would you be doing if you didn't "let it go". Not let your kids sleep over again?
A580Hojas · 25/02/2022 21:40

Your children will get over it.

When you say "let it go" do you mean the alternative is to start an argument with them about it?

LilacPaisley · 25/02/2022 21:44

Thanks Mumsnetters. Thank god OH and I hadn’t booked anything

I wouldn't have ever booked anything. Just an outside chance they might want to come home. It never happened, but would have wanted to be at home and available if it did.

Sh05 · 25/02/2022 21:57

Just send her a message saying it's fine, you hope everything is ok.
Im not sure what you mean by letting it go but what else would you do.
Something has come up, they're normally very generous.
Besides offering your home for a sleepover instead I don't see what choice you have over the matter.
Remind your kids that they've had lots of sleepovers before, something's come up and so this one time it's not going ahead.

ColdTattyWaitingForSummer · 25/02/2022 22:07

I’m someone who really struggles with last minute changes of plan, so I totally get the disappointment (I know that’s absolutely my issue, but very late or repeated changes can literally push me into a panic attack) but given they’re good friends, and there’s no obvious history of flakiness, I’d assume a good reason and let it go too. (By let it go, I mean try to relax and not stress or panic, not that I’d otherwise start a row or anything!)
I hope the night was salvaged for you and the kids Wine

RosesAndHellebores · 25/02/2022 22:53

They've had a row or
One of them has had a bad diagnosis
A grandparent may be very ill
The kids have nits
The kids have worms
They've got mice/bed bugs

Any number of reasons. Nod and smile and move swiftly on. Have a nice day out tomorrow.

BoredZelda · 25/02/2022 22:56

Parents have had a barny.

Or kids have misbehaved and sleepover is cancelled as a punishment.

If I’d fallen out with my husband, I wouldn’t cancel but I definitely would threaten the cancellation if my daughter was playing up.

BlondeWidow · 25/02/2022 23:13

I would never, ever speak to them again. Ever. Not after hurting my child like that

BlondeWidow · 25/02/2022 23:16

Why are these PPs declaring that these total strangers must have had a row or had something occur? Why is it not feasible that they've simply changed their minds and been fucking selfish?! This 'doormat' nonsense is how CFs are created!

LilacPaisley · 25/02/2022 23:25

Why are these PPs declaring that these total strangers must have had a row or had something occur? Why is it not feasible that they've simply changed their minds and been fucking selfish?!

Because OP says that up to now they've been very generous and had OPs children sleep over numerous times without asking for reciprocation. That really doesn't scream selfish to most people.
So it's likely to be something else.

notacooldad · 25/02/2022 23:54

Iwould never, ever speak to them again. Ever. Not after hurting my child like that
Blimey!😂😂😂😂

cocktailclub · 26/02/2022 00:24

@BlondeWidow
Really?
I hope that's a wind up comment or else you are seriously self entitled

phishy · 26/02/2022 00:30

@BlondeWidow

I would never, ever speak to them again. Ever. Not after hurting my child like that
😂

You do like to take the extreme view in threads.

DryOldCaper · 26/02/2022 00:37

@BlondeWidow

Why are these PPs declaring that these total strangers must have had a row or had something occur? Why is it not feasible that they've simply changed their minds and been fucking selfish?! This 'doormat' nonsense is how CFs are created!
Be sure they’ve hosted them many times before without incident.

Calm down.